Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 349

orlok · 08-07-2012, 08:16 AM

kennyc · 08-07-2012, 10:59 AM

badgoodDeb · 08-07-2012, 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kennyc

Love it!

Fbone · 08-07-2012, 08:17 PM

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Daithi · 08-09-2012, 10:03 AM

This is a horrible joke -- I don't care.

A girl enters a tiny ice cream shop and asks, "What flavors do you have?"

The man behind the counter whispers, "Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry," and begins tapping his throat as if he can't continue.

The girls asks, "Laryngitis?"

The man replies, "No, just vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry."

steven522 · 08-09-2012, 12:22 PM

A $20 dollar bill and a $1 dollar bill are together on the conveyor belt at the downtown Federal Reserve Building. The $1 dollar bill asks the $20 dollar bill, "So, where all have you traveled?"

"I've been to distant countries, going to the finest restaurants, to the biggest and best casinos, numerous boutiques, the mall uptown, the mall downtown, the mall across town and even a mall that was just newly built. I have done it all!!! What about you? Where have you been?"

The $1 dollar bill replied, "Well, I've been to the Baptist church, the Methodist church, the Presbyterian church, the Episcopalian church, the Catholic church, the Mormon church... "

"Wait, hold on," interrupts the $20 dollar. "What's a church?"

kennyc · 08-09-2012, 12:33 PM

Daithi · 08-09-2012, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by steven522

A $20 dollar bill and a $1 dollar bill are together on the conveyor belt at the downtown Federal Reserve Building. The $1 dollar bill asks the $20 dollar bill, "So, where all have you traveled?"

"I've been to distant countries, going to the finest restaurants, to the biggest and best casinos, numerous boutiques, the mall uptown, the mall downtown, the mall across town and even a mall that was just newly built. I have done it all!!! What about you? Where have you been?"

The $1 dollar bill replied, "Well, I've been to the Baptist church, the Methodist church, the Presbyterian church, the Episcopalian church, the Catholic church, the Mormon church... "

"Wait, hold on," interrupts the $20 dollar. "What's a church?"

On the other hand, the $1 bill is also a lot more likely to make into a stripper's G-String than is the $20.

Kumabjorn · 08-09-2012, 03:01 PM

Woot? $5 bills are mandatory if you want a lapdance from me.

Fbone · 08-09-2012, 09:21 PM

I have reached the age where I need my false teeth and hearing aid before I can ask where I left my glasses.

James_Wilde · 08-10-2012, 02:16 AM

Great one, Kenny! You'd have got karma for that, but I can't give you any yet - gotta spread it around first.

James_Wilde · 08-10-2012, 02:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daithi

On the other hand, the $1 bill is also a lot more likely to make into a stripper's G-String than is the $20.

Oh, I don't know. What kind of cheapskate, sorry economically-minded person, are you, Daithi?

James_Wilde · 08-10-2012, 02:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

I have reached the age where I need my false teeth and hearing aid before I can ask where I left my glasses.

Ouch! Karma for that one, Fbone.

nohmi2 · 08-10-2012, 02:27 AM

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orlok · 08-10-2012, 03:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James_Wilde

Great one, Kenny! You'd have got karma for that, but I can't give you any yet - gotta spread it around first.

08-10-2012, 02:16 AM	#5231
James_Wilde Guru Posts: 802 Karma: 4727110 Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Sweden Device: Iriver Story	Great one, Kenny! You'd have got karma for that, but I can't give you any yet - gotta spread it around first. Last edited by James_Wilde; 08-10-2012 at 02:22 AM.

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08-07-2012, 08:16 AM	#5221
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"

08-07-2012, 10:59 AM	#5222
kennyc The Dank Side of the Moon Posts: 35,918 Karma: 119747553 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Denver, CO Device: Kindle2; Kindle Fire

08-07-2012, 08:17 PM	#5224
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,297 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

08-09-2012, 10:03 AM	#5225
Daithi Publishers are evil! Posts: 2,418 Karma: 36205264 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Rhode Island Device: Various Kindles	This is a horrible joke -- I don't care. A girl enters a tiny ice cream shop and asks, "What flavors do you have?" The man behind the counter whispers, "Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry," and begins tapping his throat as if he can't continue. The girls asks, "Laryngitis?" The man replies, "No, just vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry."

08-09-2012, 12:22 PM	#5226
steven522 binomial: homo legentem Posts: 1,061 Karma: 25222222 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Alabama, USA Device: iriver Story HD; Archos 80 G9	A $20 dollar bill and a $1 dollar bill are together on the conveyor belt at the downtown Federal Reserve Building. The $1 dollar bill asks the $20 dollar bill, "So, where all have you traveled?" "I've been to distant countries, going to the finest restaurants, to the biggest and best casinos, numerous boutiques, the mall uptown, the mall downtown, the mall across town and even a mall that was just newly built. I have done it all!!! What about you? Where have you been?" The $1 dollar bill replied, "Well, I've been to the Baptist church, the Methodist church, the Presbyterian church, the Episcopalian church, the Catholic church, the Mormon church... " "Wait, hold on," interrupts the $20 dollar. "What's a church?"

08-09-2012, 12:33 PM	#5227
kennyc The Dank Side of the Moon Posts: 35,918 Karma: 119747553 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Denver, CO Device: Kindle2; Kindle Fire

08-09-2012, 03:01 PM	#5229
Kumabjorn Basculocolpic Posts: 4,356 Karma: 20181319 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Sweden Device: Kindle 3 WiFi, Kindle 4SO, Kindle for Android, Sony PRS-350 and PRS-T1	Woot? $5 bills are mandatory if you want a lapdance from me.

08-09-2012, 09:21 PM	#5230
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,297 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I have reached the age where I need my false teeth and hearing aid before I can ask where I left my glasses.

08-10-2012, 02:27 AM	#5234
nohmi2 Pensively observing. Posts: 1,758 Karma: 12675456 Join Date: Jun 2008 Device: Varied.