Humor Streeter, Edward: As You Were, Bill! (illustrated). v1. 09 August 2012

[GrannyGrump]

First published 1920.
By Edward Streeter (1891-1976), author of “Father of the Bride,” “Dere Mable,” “That’s Me All Over, Mable,” “Same Old Bill, eh Mable!” etc.

The fourth, and final, of the “Dere Mable” books. The Great War (World War I) is over, and it’s back to civilian life for Bill. He meets his buddy Angus in the big city far from his hometown of Philopolis, and they both decide to seek jobs at Uncle Charlie’s “ex an import bisnes.” Many comic situations lie ahead, all described in his letters to Mable. These tales are enhanced by 42 full-page cartoon illustrations.

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An excerpt:

A fello brought us a pair of shoes shaped like a stilleto. I didnt expect em shaped like army shoes of course. But these was dangerus. If you ever got foolin around an kicked a fello it would be like stickin him with a bayonut.

The shoe fello couldnt understand. He said these was called Bisnis Mens Delites they was so broad. Angus says they ought to ishue them to the calvery. They could put em on backwards an use the toes for spurs.

Just to get started somewheres tho we bought a pair that didnt hurt much when we was sittin down. The fellow says they was only $13.50 dollars. I explained how I wasnt buying em by the dozen like bananas or anything. I just wanted a pair to walk in, if I could. He said we was lucky. Wed run into a sale. It was probably the last time wed ever buy a pair of shoes at that price, which was the only sensibul thing hed said.

He told us how the price of cowskin had gone up on account of the shortness of grass or something. If we knew how much he made on a pair wed hate to take em. Angus says he did anyway. The least they could do was to give away a pair of crutches with every pair like cupons.

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If ever you need a challenge in your life, try to proofread an OCR scan of a book written with deliberate bad spelling and punctuation. My brane hertz now.


I manually replicated the cover image, because the original is in very sad condition. It is not warranted for accuracy! I am also uploading the original cover, for anyone who prefers "old-book nostalgia" to the book-producer’s zeal. Zip includes 16M-color and 256-color pngs.