Fifty Shades - "We Deserve Better"

[PeculiarPooch]

Originally Posted by JSWolf

So can we call this series Fifty Shades of Bland?

Fifty Shades of Kill Me Now.

[Blossom]

Originally Posted by PeculiarPooch

Fifty Shades of Kill Me Now.

More like 50 Shades of What The.....

[Freeshadow]

If that stuff is by THAT magnitudes lousy, the next thing to expect is a worldwide clapping sound caused by all the :facepalm: of BDSMlers, confronted with a crapload of misinformed wannbes. There could be a lot of very not-nice-things to happen, if the book is indeed as insufficient in depicting subtleties of dominant/submissive arrangements as I understand it to be.

[PeculiarPooch]

Originally Posted by Freeshadow

If that stuff is by THAT magnitudes lousy, the next thing to expect is a worldwide clapping sound caused by all the :facepalm: of BDSMlers, confronted with a crapload of misinformed wannbes. There could be a lot of very not-nice-things to happen, if the book is indeed as insufficient in depicting subtleties of dominant/submissive arrangements as I understand it to be.

If it really is "mommy porn", then I'd expect to hear lawyers cheering after vanilla hubbies run away in fear...

[CWatkinsNash]

Originally Posted by PeculiarPooch

If it really is "mommy porn", then I'd expect to hear lawyers cheering after vanilla hubbies run away in fear...

Turnabout is fair play. I've lost count of the times I've heard (both first-hand and anecdotally) men wanting to try what they've seen in porn. Except they usually try to pretend they don't watch porn so they act as if they came up with this brilliant idea out of the blue.

But if 50 Shades makes BDSM look boring, awkward and dysfunctional, it might have the opposite effect on the lifestyle.

[JSWolf]

Originally Posted by CWatkinsNash

Turnabout is fair play. I've lost count of the times I've heard (both first-hand and anecdotally) men wanting to try what they've seen in porn. Except they usually try to pretend they don't watch porn so they act as if they came up with this brilliant idea out of the blue.

But if 50 Shades makes BDSM look boring, awkward and dysfunctional, it might have the opposite effect on the lifestyle.

So what you are saying is that 50 Shades of Nonsense turns BDSM into BoringDullSillyMoronic.

[Blossom]

Originally Posted by CWatkinsNash

But if 50 Shades makes BDSM look boring, awkward and dysfunctional, it might have the opposite effect on the lifestyle.

I think the author read Wikipedia for her BDSM research. Alot of the same info from the series is on that wiki article. The problem with 50SG is the male lead is seriously derange. The female lead is a doormat. Nothing good can become of that type of relationship. The books don't follow a plot or a normal story type formula. The author just wrote whatever she wanted off the top of her head.

[Joykins]

Originally Posted by PeculiarPooch

If it really is "mommy porn", then I'd expect to hear lawyers cheering after vanilla hubbies run away in fear...

Well, I have tried things with my husband that I read in erotic romances (not BDSM though). Some of them went over much better than others.

[QuantumIguana]

Originally Posted by Blossom

I think the author read Wikipedia for her BDSM research. Alot of the same info from the series is on that wiki article. The problem with 50SG is the male lead is seriously derange. The female lead is a doormat. Nothing good can become of that type of relationship. The books don't follow a plot or a normal story type formula. The author just wrote whatever she wanted off the top of her head.

Perhaps that's why the book was a success. She didn't write the book she was "supposed" to write.

[Freeshadow]

Originally Posted by CWatkinsNash

But if 50 Shades makes BDSM look boring, awkward and dysfunctional, it might have the opposite effect on the lifestyle.

The danger is a rise in attraction of irresponsible individuals misunderstanding the concept of dominance.

Being the only active obliges to act for both and being watchful for both. Observe every tiniest reaction of the sub's body.
Posess but care.
Lead but not belittle.
Use but abuse not.
By taking all you decide to give back what is expected.
Submission is a gift of trust and responsibility. Value and deserve it.
Only then it 'll work. Be proud of what you have been gifted with; and your jewel will be proud of being valued.

[Lirael]

Originally Posted by CWatkinsNash

But if 50 Shades makes BDSM look boring, awkward and dysfunctional, it might have the opposite effect on the lifestyle.

The problem is that it doesn't. It portrays a really, really messed-up (understatement of the year!) view of BDSM (and relationships in general), all the while insisting to the reader this is exactly how it ought to be.

As this book started as a Twilight fanfic, it's got basically the same problem as its source material - portraying an abusive relationship as a romantic ideal, except that since this author is somewhat less skilled than Twilight's author the problems are magnified.

The danger, I think, is that people will read this and get it in their heads to try things without doing any further research - and this is quite probably one of the worst instruction manuals you can find.

[CWatkinsNash]

Originally Posted by Lirael

The problem is that it doesn't. It portrays a really, really messed-up (understatement of the year!) view of BDSM (and relationships in general), all the while insisting to the reader this is exactly how it ought to be.

As this book started as a Twilight fanfic, it's got basically the same problem as its source material - portraying an abusive relationship as a romantic ideal, except that since this author is somewhat less skilled than Twilight's author the problems are magnified.

The danger, I think, is that people will read this and get it in their heads to try things without doing any further research - and this is quite probably one of the worst instruction manuals you can find.

Aside from it starting out as Twi-fic, this is true for a lot of fiction out there concerning a variety of subjects and lifestyles. I've read plenty of erotic fiction with domination themes that are awesome in context, but if a guy tried that in real life he'd come away with a broken nose or worse.

IME, most people can recognize an abusive relationship in a book or movie or even someone else's life more easily than they can recognize one in their own lives. They also can recognize that something is wrong even if it's portrayed positively. Otherwise, turning Dexter into an HBO series would have created a bunch of serial killer super heroes before the first season ended.

As for those who aren't "most people"... If all it takes is a poorly written book for someone (or a pair of someones) to do something incredibly dangerous and possibly tragic without ever realizing the peril, I'd wager that if it wasn't this, it would have been something else. Their "really bad decision" clock was likely already ticking. You could put a three-page large-print warning in the front of the book and it wouldn't make a difference.

[Freeshadow]

Originally Posted by Lirael

The problem is that it doesn't. It portrays a really, really messed-up (understatement of the year!) view of BDSM (and relationships in general), all the while insisting to the reader this is exactly how it ought to be.

In other words - it looks like I understood the summary of this ahm 'work' just the right way.
What you write looks like a +1 to mine. Thanks.

[Freeshadow]

@ Brat
I think what Lirael meant is: There's already enough irresponsible idiots out there with a distorted view on what BDSM is.
The problem how to sort them out, as they are both a danger to the Subs and disastrous to the ourter perception of the lifestyle is afaik an ever persistent topic in the communities.
The last thing needed there is such a blast of misinformation hitting the mark of public focus.

[ScalyFreak]

Originally Posted by CWatkinsNash

If all it takes is a poorly written book for someone (or a pair of someones) to do something incredibly dangerous and possibly tragic without ever realizing the peril, I'd wager that if it wasn't this, it would have been something else.

"If all it takes is a rock song/movie/videogame..." ?

To other points recently made in this thread, there's already enough of a stigma and a "that's disgusting and twisted" kneejerk reaction from society with regards to BDSM. Books like these don't help public perception, if anything they probably make it worse, and reinforce the incorrect and narrow-minded belief that "normal" people would never willingly engage in these kinds of activities.