50 Shades of Grey sex classes

[wyndslash]

Over at Babeland, a New York sex shop, the best-selling trilogy “Fifty Shades of Grey” has shifted from erotic fiction to how-to guide. On a recent Friday, a hundred or so women, four men, and one Chihuahua crowded into the SoHo store for a class inspired by the books. “I found out about the books because people kept coming into the store and asking about specific products—floggers, restraints, paddles,” said Claire Cavanah, Babeland’s co-founder.

Read more http://www.newyorker.com/online/blog...#ixzz1w2HLotJh

I'm kind of speechless about this, and I can't quite say why. I guess maybe it's because of the wide array of genre fiction that I usually read that I feel that it's like a lot of people are living under a rock these days? But I suppose now that something "taboo" has made it into the mainstream, more people are slowly acknowledging it...

[xg4bx]

its not that its a taboo, its just that we're americans and we need pop culture to ocassionally tell us that human sexual interaction is acceptable. after the book isn't popular anymore we'll zip up and go back to our lives of quiet unfulfillment and treating sex like a dirty shame.

'oh a popular book is telling us its ok to have sex? ok, we'll give it the ol' college try then.'

the sad thing is that i'm only halfway facetious.

[wyndslash]

Originally Posted by xg4bx

its not that its a taboo, its just that we're americans and we need pop culture to ocassionally tell us that human sexual interaction is acceptable. after the book isn't popular anymore we'll zip up and go back to our lives of quiet unfulfillment and treating sex like a dirty shame.

'oh a popular book is telling us its ok to have sex? ok, we'll give it the ol' college try then.'

the sad thing is that i'm only halfway facetious.

i don't think it's just americans; maybe just traditional "polite society" in a way. i'm asian, and sometimes i really wonder about some of the couples i meet. or maybe i've just been reading too many romance novels (albeit, gay ones, haha). i attended a sort of family dinner (my uncle and my parents' friends and their family), and i was chatting with my sister's godfather's married daughter (got that? xD) who was into the freebie romance novels, and i asked her if she had recently read 50 shades (simply because it's been splashed on the news and online), and she said that she generally avoided "weird" books like that.

[ATDrake]

I hope Babeland also teaches those people about safewords, negotiated consent boundaries, the generally accepted* notion that the submissive is really supposed to be the one ultimately calling the shots due to trust placed in the dominant not to actually hurt them beyond what's been previously agreed to during said negotiated consent boundaries, and the general idea that BDSM should be "safe, consensual, and sane".

All of which apparently the actual 50 Shades books don't ever address at all, being some kind of faux-risqué staidly suburban middle-class fantasy of what those kinky, kinky BDSM people† do, with very little actual relationship to the real thing beyond using some of the same "toys", from what I've heard about them.

* Outside of people doing Gorean roleplay, which more mainstream BDSM practitioners sneer at for not having safewords as well as having a predictably unimaginative 1-way D/s setup, IIRC. It's like the sex fetish version of the Geek Hierarchy!

† This is not my kink. But it's depressing that I know more about how it's supposed to work than some people who are making good money writing bad information about how they imagine it works.

ETA: And now I have a postcount of exactly 5050, which is like some kind of weird coincidence that begs to be turned into a parody title. 5050 Posts of "No Way!"?

[wyndslash]

@atdrake: hah, you're not alone i've been reading too many bdsm books, but the best ones i've read are all about the actual dynamics of a d/s relationship, not just whip and chains. it's really more than that.

[rkomar]

On my last flight, as we were buckling up and straightening our seat backs for landing, one of the flight crew was making the rounds with the book in her hand and her finger stuck between the pages. That's how mainstream it has become.

[crich70]

On a recent Friday, a hundred or so women, four men, and one Chihuahua crowded into the SoHo store for a class inspired by the books.

Do I even want to know why a Chihuahua was in attendance? lol.

[wyndslash]

it's quite worrisome though, if they're going to base it on the scenes in the book. someone could seriously get hurt.

[ATDrake]

Eh, maybe they could turn it into a valuable learning lesson on the difference between BDSM fiction and BDSM reality.

"When the book does that, it's a bad idea that works out badly in real life and you should do this instead, which is much more fun for everyone involved…"

[wyndslash]

Originally Posted by ATDrake

Eh, maybe they could turn it into a valuable learning lesson on the difference between BDSM fiction and BDSM reality.

"When the book does that, it's a bad idea that works out badly in real life and you should do this instead, which is much more fun for everyone involved…"

haha

i mean...it's like they're just playing around with dolls. not in the league of the big boys yet reading is definitely different from doing still, if some of them are serious about it, they might learn something about the value of trust in a relationship

[applesauce]

seriously people need lessons to do basic sexual sensations. Oh my gawd THAT makes me so glad I am married and not out there in world of people needing lessons hehehe

Seriously he spanked her bot bot and gave her orgasms. If you needed instruction or a safe word for this I hate to think how boring your bedroom is.



applesauce

[teh603]

Originally Posted by ATDrake

I hope Babeland also teaches those people about safewords, negotiated consent boundaries, the generally accepted* notion that the submissive is really supposed to be the one ultimately calling the shots due to trust placed in the dominant not to actually hurt them beyond what's been previously agreed to during said negotiated consent boundaries, and the general idea that BDSM should be "safe, consensual, and sane".

It isn't so much as the submissive calling the shots, as the submissive is supposed to let the top know IMMEDIATELY if something goes wrong. For example, a whip or flogger could wrap into an area that it isn't supposed to, and cause serious damage that wouldn't be noticeable from the top's point of view. Or worse, the top could accidentally step on a psychological land mine.

All of which apparently the actual 50 Shades books don't ever address at all, being some kind of faux-risqué staidly suburban middle-class fantasy of what those kinky, kinky BDSM people† do, with very little actual relationship to the real thing beyond using some of the same "toys", from what I've heard about them.

† This is not my kink. But it's depressing that I know more about how it's supposed to work than some people who are making good money writing bad information about how they imagine it works.

You think that's bad, you should try reading female-dominant "Femdom" erotica. Its full of worthless men, women who love to abuse (but not actually love) them, cuckolding tropes, forced gender transitions and in a few cases actual forced sex changes, and stuff that you can't possibly base a healthy relationship on. If the women even get involved in the relationship; from what I've seen they're usually only in it to abuse and destroy the man. Hell, they don't even have sex with them. Compare that with the men of Gor who seem to be having sex every couple of pages.

[wyndslash]

some of the "femdom" stuff are downright disturbing. i wonder if most of these are written by men or women?

[Piper_]

JFTR, In FS, she had a safeword, and they spent much time going over the contract, and the need to be SSC.

/long time sub lite who is thrilled to see some of this go mainstream. Hated the awful writing (all too typical in erotca) and his original motivation.

Originally Posted by crich70

Do I even want to know why a Chihuahua was in attendance? lol.

To provide snacks?