Why do people spend so much money on a wedding?

[NightBookworm]

I know people say it's the most important day, you'll remember it forever but for me, I don't really remember things from the past that much. I'd rather take that money and use it as a house downpayment or emergency fund or pay off all student loan/cc/auto debt.

I see people spend a lot of money they don't have on their wedding day, then spend years fighting over money trying to pay back the money they borrowed as well as other bills. It doesn't seem worth it to me.

Anybody have a simple wedding like at a courthouse followed by a party at a restaruant and NOT regret it?

Who here had an expensive wedding and regretted it?

[spindlegirl]

I paid $6 for a pretty dress, my husband used the nicest suit he had in his wardrobe. I think I even had bare feet. We spent under a hundred dollars each on rings (we were considering even foregoing the rings but decided to splurge)

We got married here in our house. The few people we invited all brought food. (fruit, crackers, fake champagne).

Not to put down those who have the means to throw a big bash, they are fun too. I am just glad that it's not a requirement to spend lots of money to get married. But my husband and I are introverts and our wedding reflected it. It was about us, our love, and the ten year journey that got us there.

[toomanybooks]

I got married in Vegas by Elvis. It took me ten minutes on the phone to book the Hounddog package and the wedding was essentially planned. Add in getting airfare and a hotel and the wedding planning took one hour total. Cheap and stressfree.

[Elfwreck]

I didn't have a "simple courthouse" wedding, but we worked to keep the costs down--held it outside in a park with only a few friends; while I spent money on my wedding dress, I planned on being able to wear it again, and I do, several times a year. My dad bought a bunch of disposable cameras and handed them out to everyone; we got a handful of good pictures from that. A couple of our priestess friends performed the ceremony (complete with the opening from The Princess Bride) and Kathy Mar sang "Velveteen" and a couple of other songs for us. No reception. No regrets. 11 years and counting.

[ficbot]

I want to---I am not the Pretty Princess type, and my partner has been married already. His parents are unlikely to. I tribute financially toward anything else, and mine would if I asked them too, but honestly Imwould rather just have a simple service and then go out for dinner (and they can pay for that if they want to). If my mother wants to have a party afterward for her friends, and plan it and fund it herself and I just have to show up, I'll go. But the thought of shelliing out for a big fancy wedding does not interest me at all.

[Pookeysgirl]

I got married September 2010. I paid $100 for my dress (on clearance), spent $45 renting a suit for my husband. And got an all inclusive package for the chapel, pictures and video for $1000. We had 11 people attend including our 4 children. It was the best day of my life :. Oh and we used stainless steel rings that we had bought for eachother on our first date that cost us $25 each back in 2005. No reception, just pizza at home. Honeymoon was one night in a hotel in town.

My wedding was about him and I vowing to love eachother and be together through good and bad for the rest of our lives. I would've done it in our apartments livingroom but he wanted nice pictures .

[NightBookworm]

It's so good to hear people have had a great time and no regrets not going for the big fancy wedding! I feel like we are the minority in a crazy world.

[Rumpelteazer]

My parents didn't spend a lot of money on the wedding. My mother bought a summer dress on sale, my father didn't wear a suit and the only thing he had to buy was a jacket (which he still has). The party was at a restaurant that had just opened and they were the first customers, because it was in a new neighbourhood which wasn't finished and rather hard to get to they got a great discount.

They didn't want to spend a lot of money because they were renovating their first apartment. Next week they're celebrating their 33rd anniversary.

[Latinandgreek]

Originally Posted by NightBookworm

Anybody have a simple wedding like at a courthouse followed by a party at a restaruant and NOT regret it?

I had a simple wedding at a church (Catholic), followed by a party at a restaurant. I believe that there were 15 of us in total at the wedding. We walked to the church. I did have a white wedding dress, but it was very understated and not expensive (not a 'poof' dress, just a slim fitting white dress). Every time my husband and I go to a large wedding we whisper to each other "thank God we didn't have a big wedding!" We had wanted to elope but in the end thought it would be best to at least have a small dinner at a restaurant. I only regret that we didn't take more pictures.

Originally Posted by spindlegirl

But my husband and I are introverts and our wedding reflected it. It was about us, our love, and the ten year journey that got us there.

You pretty much described me and my husband as well. Our wedding was about our love, I really didn't see a need to make a big show of it.

There are some nice wedding traditions here that only work with a large wedding - for example, the groom has to pick up the bride at her house along with everyone from his side of the wedding party and decoy 'brides' are sent to him, and he has to turn them away until the real bride comes out. The decoy brides are usually old women with sheets on their heads or the sister of the bride, that sort of thing. A young man from the town would is also sometimes ordained as a sort of joker who entertains the rest of the wedding party. Up until fairly recently the bride would traditionally ride to church on a donkey (no, I am not making this up!). Also, sometimes a member of each house in the hamlet will set up a table with homemade grappa and prosecco, and the bride and groom have to stop at each table to drink on their way back from the church. I like that old traditions are kept up, and I like seeing things like that at other people's weddings, but I really would have rather kept on 'living in sin' with my husband rather than have a large wedding!

Oh, there is no 'giving away' of the bride - as our town priest says, a woman is not an object to 'give away', and has to walk down the aisle of her own free will. Fathers are not allowed to 'give away' their daughters here. I really like that.

We also don't get a 'now you may kiss the bride' moment at church, and the groom does see the bride in her wedding dress before the mass - there is not superstition here about seeing the bride before the wedding.

Originally Posted by Pookeysgirl

It was the best day of my life :. Oh and we used stainless steel rings that we had bought for eachother on our first date that cost us $25 each back in 2005. No reception, just pizza at home. Honeymoon was one night in a hotel in town.

My wedding was about him and I vowing to love eachother and be together through good and bad for the rest of our lives. I would've done it in our apartments livingroom but he wanted nice pictures .

I love that your wedding rings were bought on your first date! It sounds like a lovely wedding. You have given me a craving for pizza now!

I've been to 2 weddings this month, and I have a third tomorrow. I really can't wait to get all of this wedding nonsense over with! The first two were large, the next is a small restaurant dinner, whew.

[lostmymarbles]

A good place to get married on the cheap is Bali.
And it's really good and romantic and you can still feel like royalty on your special day.

[Laine]

I got married in 1975 and spent very little. We live in Australia but our families are in England. We were supposed to drive with friends to Perth but he dinged the car and wrecked the radiator. We made up our minds on the spot, applied and got married one week later at the register office in Sydney. We had 2 witnesses who were our only friends who hadn't gone away on holiday. (We were teachers.) I spent $16 on a suit at a chain store, we asked a passerby to take a photo in the park and we had a couple of drinks in a bar at the Hilton Hotel. We borrowed a tent and went camping. (Unfortunately it poured and we didn't stay long.) We've been married 37 years.
On the other hand, my cousin's family paid a fortune for her wedding and it was over in less than a year - I never even got to see the photos.

[kennyc]

And that just goes to show you......wait what was I about to say????

[red_phoenix]

That shows the difference between people that want a wedding and people that wish to get married.

[Freeshadow]

Q: why people spend horrific amounts of money for their wedding?
A: They're practicing for the day they'll be spending even bigger amounts of money for their divorce.

[kennyc]

Originally Posted by Freeshadow

Q: why people spend horrific amounts of money for their wedding?
A: They're practicing for the day they'll be spending even bigger amounts of money for their divorce.