Books We Lie About Having Read

[Rob Lister]

The title says it all. I picked this up from the following short article, the lead being:

Earlier this week, an English Web site published a list of the “top books that Brits lie about reading.” It inspired us to come forward with our own list of books we’ve been less than truthful about having read. Here are some voices from our staff (names have been redacted to protect the guilty):

And it goes on with such shameful admissions as:

“A Confederacy of Dunces,” by John Kennedy Toole. “I couldn’t finish it, but I have left that detail out in certain conversations.”

Which, oddly enough, I too read and couldn't quite finish, unless you count finishing as reading one paragraph, skipping ten, all the while hoping the fabulous-starting book will somehow get good again.

I'm not ashamed to admit that. Really. Truly. Why would I be? Why would anyone be?

But would I lie under any circumstance? Suppose I was at a dinner party (as if I would be caught dead at a dinner party) and the topic of conversations about great books moved on to A confederacy of Dunces. Most everyone at the table read the whole thing and...oh!...what a marvelous book.

Would I join in, discussing the finer details of those chapters I did read and liked?

Would I lie simply by omission; nodding knowingly and the wonderful dinner-side review without telling what I personally thought of the hack?

Or would I proudly tell them it started great but from chapter three on, I thought it pretty much sucked?

Probably the most latter. It's also probably why I don't get invited to such things as dinner parties.

So if you're reading this, Tell us all honestly if you'd ever lie about having read or enjoyed a book.

You can fess up right here ______________________

[Ntsimp]

My senior year of high school I wrote a good half-dozen essays on Wuthering Heights (all A's), but never read a single word. Or is that not what you meant?

[Talldog]

Never have, can't imagine why I would. Maybe I just don't hang around in snobby reader circles.

[BeccaPrice]

I wrote a deep meaningful essay on Heart of Darkness when I was in school - my teacher wrote on it that he always was pleased when one of the books he had us read actually touched a student's heart and mind, and clearly the book was important to me. I never read it - I just opened the book at random, picked a quote, and riffed on it. I've always felt a bit guilty for misleading my english teacher that way, because I liked him in general (just not his taste in books, which was for the depressing - if it wasn't depressing, it wasn't "meaninigful" I guess.)

closer to now, I never finished Wise Man's Fear.

[Jozawun]

This was a worldwide phenomenon in the case of Hawking's "A Brief History of Time".

[Belfaborac]

I've never been tempted really. Partly because I too don't socialise with book snobs and partly because I've actually read a huge number of those "deep", "depressing", "heavy", "boring" tomes. Enjoyed them too, generally. Haven't quite gotten to Sartre yet, and may never do, but I couldn't be bothered to lie about it.

[SteveEisenberg]

I once read a book on this topic:

How to Talk About Books You Haven't Read

I didn't much like it, but it was short enough that I finished it anyway.

Of course, I could be lying about that

P.S. I hadn't read the OP article before writing the above, and now I see the book I mention is indeed on the liar list. But I really read it. Really. And I never lied to a professor that I had read the book assigned that week. OK. Not so really there.

[wyndslash]

it's quite common here; i mean, when it comes to high school book reports and such, most students here usually just read the summary from the internet and talk about that. the lazier ones just outright copy the summary.

[JeremyR]

I figured War & Peace would be on that list.

I read it when I was four and can't remember anything about it so I honestly can't say that I've read it, but I say I do. My parents got a copy of it (in two volumes) from PBS and I was fascinated by the covers. So I would read it all the time. But understand it? No.

[vulcan_girl]

I've never lied about reading a book. If it wasn't for school, I didn't bother trying to finish something I wasn't into.

Originally Posted by JOZAWUN

This was a worldwide phenomenon in the case of Hawking's "A Brief History of Time".

Am I the only one who actually read this book?

At any rate, I never have and never will claim to read a book that I didn't read. I have read books like 1984 and the Great Gatsby. The rest I haven't felt the urge to read because I do not enjoy stuffy literature, and am not afraid to admit it. One of my favourite lines is, "sometimes, just sometimes, grass is green," because of a traumatic experience with stuffy literature interpretation. After that, I figured enough was enough. (Oddly enough, a lot of high school students understand that reference.)

On the otherhand, there are books that I won't admit to reading to.

[carld]

Originally Posted by BWinmill

Am I the only one who actually read this book?

Nope, finished it and enjoyed it tremendously from what I remember. I'll have to see if the library has a copy so I can give it another look.

There are plenty of books that I've started and never finished, but I don't know of any that I've lied about. What an odd thing to do.

Edit: Clevnet only has the audio book of "Brief History", not exactly what I had in mind.

[kacir]

I have never had the need to lie about having read a book. Except for school, of course ;-)
Back then, the internet wasn't even a glimmer in the eye of SciFi authors, so I had to read the vast majority of those compulsory reading assignments anyway. At least enough to write an essay and to be able to participate in discussion in class.

Recently I have seen [or read?] an interview with a clueless journalist telling us how worthless e-books and e-book readers are, and she said something like: "This is an example of book I want to put on my bookshelf when I finish reading it, so I could show how clever I am" ... Grrrrrrr

If I *ever* wanted to use this way to impress people, I would put "Mastering Regular Expressions", "Unix shell scripts and tools" on my bookshelf ;-)

[twowheels]

You guys are scaring me, "A Confederacy of Dunces" was the very next book on my TBR list...

[Witty Username]

Originally Posted by JeremyR

I figured War & Peace would be on that list.

I read it when I was four and can't remember anything about it so I honestly can't say that I've read it, but I say I do. My parents got a copy of it (in two volumes) from PBS and I was fascinated by the covers. So I would read it all the time. But understand it? No.

Your post reminded me of my favourite Woody Allen quote:

I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.