Unutterably Silly Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day

[orlok]

Eskimo Tau???? That doesn't work .

[Daithi]

Originally Posted by pdurrant

Spoiler:

Circumference divided by radius is Tau, not Pi

Yeah, I screwed that up. I guess it should have been the width of tummy or something.

[issybird]

What is an Eskimo lesbian?

Spoiler:

A Klondike

[Gorgonseyes]

Terrible but made me giggle:

On a little boys first day of kindergarden his grandpa was
driving him to school. They passed a field of cows and the
little boy said, "Look grandpa, moo moos." His grandpa said,
"You're going to kindergarden now, you have to talk like a big
boy. Those are cows." "Okay grandpa, cows."

A few minutes later they drove past a train and the little boy
said, "Look grandpa choo choo." And the grandpa said, "What did
I tell you. You have to talk like a big boy now. That's a
train." "Okay grandpa, train."

Later that day when the little boy got home from school the
grandpa asked, "What did you do in school today?" And the boy
said, "Well we fingerpainted, played with the blocks, had nap
and the teacher read us a story about Winnie The Shit.

[WT Sharpe]

Originally Posted by orlok

"You won't like me when I'm angry. Because I always back up my rage with facts and documented sources."

The Credible Hulk.

[orlok]

One for Stitchawl:

I've nearly finished writing my book on how to become a master at fencing.

Just need to add the final touchés.

[orlok]

Don't make me moody, you wouldn't like me when I'm moody..

The Incredible Sulk.

[Daithi]

Found on a Sharpie Pen: Don't make me messy, you wouldn't like me when I'm messy.

The Indelible Mark.

[badgoodDeb]

Originally Posted by orlok

One for Stitchawl:

I've nearly finished writing my book on how to become a master at fencing.

Just need to add the final touchés.

And here I thought the answer was to become a master of words, and crave your mate's apple! (Tom Sawyer reference attempted here)

[Stitchawl]

Originally Posted by orlok

One for Stitchawl:

I've nearly finished writing my book on how to become a master at fencing.

Just need to add the final touchés.

Stitchawl

[Fbone]

What do Windows and a handgun have in common?

Both are harmless while not loaded.

[Stitchawl]

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!
There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights.
The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs. She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. 'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.' So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking. 'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework. 'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!' Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE: To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.



Stitchawl

[yvanleterrible]

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

.....
The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

.....

Stitchawl

Right on the nail!

After 34 years I'm still married to that woman!

[PeterT]

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

Right on the nail!

After 34 years I'm still married to that woman!

Even though she is impossible to please?

[pilotbob]

Originally Posted by PeterT

Even though she is impossible to please?

It is a well know fact that all married women have settled and all married men are lucky.

BOb