Announcement

[GeoffC]

Originally Posted by pshrynk

Ralph Sir Edward is Chief Legal Thingie and will be appointed to Chief Justice as soon as Marc makes a vacancy there.

Note to the real DHS snoopers -- JUST KIDDING!

GeoffC will be Secretary of Education just as soon as he learns proper speeling.

I kan speel reel weel, joust 'ave diz problem wit t' ewes...

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

I am sorry to come so late to the campaign... I was away on the planet Triskellion, using my KodaChrone retro-relative live replay hypercam to unilaterally build my war chest (ie, gambling on thrall contests from the day before), which is why I couldn't get back until now.

Therefore, I have/would/will like to pledge half of my entire winnings, 480,000,000 Quatloos, to the pshrynk campaign! (The other half is/was/will be bet on pshrynk to win in '04, decided in multiple elimination encompassing all other realities where the montsmags party has not yet been declared an agent of entropy and de-initialized).

And don't worry: If that uppity bunch from parallel universe P-26364 somehow gets word and tries to disrupt things with a giant asteroid aimed at Earth a few-score million years ago, the fallout from which will disrupt time travel on the planet for the next few millennia at least, I've already taken the liberty to secure a retreat on a quiet planet on the Inner Arm, complete with serv-bots hard-wired to implode if they learn to comprehend, or even hear, the words "revolt," "anarchy," "Attica," or "mayonnaise."

pshrynk, pshrynk, went, gone, go!

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by Steve Jordan

...
pshrynk, pshrynk, went, gone, go!

Mate, I so need to read some of your "fiction" (I've downloaded the two "freebies", and they've jumped queue to "Next up").

Cheers,
Marc (a biter and Arbiter)

[pshrynk]

Originally Posted by Steve Jordan

I am sorry to come so late to the campaign... I was away on the planet Triskellion, using my KodaChrone retro-relative live replay hypercam to unilaterally build my war chest (ie, gambling on thrall contests from the day before), which is why I couldn't get back until now.

Therefore, I have/would/will like to pledge half of my entire winnings, 480,000,000 Quatloos, to the pshrynk campaign! (The other half is/was/will be bet on pshrynk to win in '04, decided in multiple elimination encompassing all other realities where the montsmags party has not yet been declared an agent of entropy and de-initialized).

And don't worry: If that uppity bunch from parallel universe P-26364 somehow gets word and tries to disrupt things with a giant asteroid aimed at Earth a few-score million years ago, the fallout from which will disrupt time travel on the planet for the next few millennia at least, I've already taken the liberty to secure a retreat on a quiet planet on the Inner Arm, complete with serv-bots hard-wired to implode if they learn to comprehend, or even hear, the words "revolt," "anarchy," "Attica," or "mayonnaise."

pshrynk, pshrynk, went, gone, go!

It is with great pleasure that I make the following Cabinet announcement, even though I have not yet winning the retrochronic election of '04:

Steve Jordan is now and for the foreseeable future, Secretary of Reality Convergence, a new cainet level department in charge of keeping the Homeland Security Secretary under control and figuring out exactly what Michael Kube McDowell was going to do in his never produced sequel to Alternities.

Thank you, and please stop writing about the Pie Incident.

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

Originally Posted by pshrynk

Steve Jordan is now and for the foreseeable future, Secretary of Reality Convergence, a new cainet level department in charge of keeping the Homeland Security Secretary under control and figuring out exactly what Michael Kube McDowell was going to do in his never produced sequel to Alternities.

Thank you... and as Secretary of Reality Convergence, I pledge/promised/am thinking about transferring all the official goofs, cock-ups and bodies to Bizarro Reality, where they do/did/will continue to inspire the Bizarros to solo squaredancing.

[vivaldirules]

"Steve Jordan is now and for the foreseeable future, Secretary of Reality Convergence, a new cabinet level department in charge of keeping the Homeland Security Secretary under control..."

What?! Are you incinerating that I, as Chief of Security and future King of Homeland Security need to be kept under control?!?! But our invasion of Ohio came off like a charm, almost. I nearly had all the bacon in that rogue state safely squirreled away into my...er...I mean into a safe locker. That is, if the Governor's stupid mutt (beagles - ya just can't trust 'em) hadn't squealed on me and let the cat out of the bag, I'd have been up to my eyeballs in bacon. I mean, we would have that state back in line. Oh, psay it ain't sew, pshrynk.

[pshrynk]

Originally Posted by vivaldirules

"Steve Jordan is now and for the foreseeable future, Secretary of Reality Convergence, a new cabinet level department in charge of keeping the Homeland Security Secretary under control..."

What?! Are you incinerating that I, as Chief of Security and future King of Homeland Security need to be kept under control?!?! But our invasion of Ohio came off like a charm, almost. I nearly had all the bacon in that rogue state safely squirreled away into my...er...I mean into a safe locker. That is, if the Governor's stupid mutt (beagles - ya just can't trust 'em) hadn't squealed on me and let the cat out of the bag, I'd have been up to my eyeballs in bacon. I mean, we would have that state back in line. Oh, psay it ain't sew, pshrynk.

But, one of the major functions of DHS is to keep tabs on those wankers over at DRC. You should already be familiar with tail chasing.

[vivaldirules]

Originally Posted by pshrynk

But, one of the major functions of DHS is to keep tabs on those wankers over at DRC. You should already be familiar with tail chasing.

Oh, right. I'll get right to it.

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

No problem, Viv: Thanks to the DRC's Offset Convergence Chronoshifters, you can chase the same tail that will be chasing you chasing them chasing you chasing them chasing you chasing them chasing you...

Hey, watch where you put that nose.

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

Originally Posted by pshrynk

...figuring out exactly what Michael Kube McDowell was going to do in his never produced sequel to Alternities.

FYI, my agents have obtained a copy of the sequel to Alternities, entitled Refractricities, copyright 2022 (m-book edition). Don't want to spoil the ending, but if I were an emu, I'd watch my back.

[pshrynk]

Originally Posted by Steve Jordan

FYI, my agents have obtained a copy of the sequel to Alternities, entitled Refractricities, copyright 2022 (m-book edition). Don't want to spoil the ending, but if I were an emu, I'd watch my back.

See? This is why a retrochronic campaign is so much more effective! We can get so much more done with the use of a time machine.

That plus the infulence of the Elder Gods that having Marc and Cthulhu in our camp brings us.

You guys are in a different time warp. He was already elected twice and having served his terms to the best of his ability (which is no statement on the success), he has since retired to his ranch somewhere in the West. You're reading a message in a bottle.

[pshrynk]

Originally Posted by sriram

You guys are in a different time warp. He was already elected twice and having served his terms to the best of his ability (which is no statement on the success), he has since retired to his ranch somewhere in the West. You're reading a message in a bottle.

Actually, my compound is in Wisconsin. Once considered the West only in that it was west of Ohio, as VR can attest.

[vivaldirules]

Pshwynk, oh sir, oh sir. This is VR, your loyal Chief of Security and future King of Homeland Security, reporting back for duty (pant). Sorry for taking so long but I can assure you that my tail (pant) is indeed still there (pant, pant) just as you ordered. I just couldn't catch up to the darn thing and, well, I started thinking about the state of our country and all those rogue states that need to be brought bacon...I mean...back in line again. Anyway, maybe tomorrow, for the good of the country, of course, we could invade Iowa. I hear they have some good porkers there. I mean to say pork barrellers. Gotta stop that. So whaddaya say? Should I send the governor there a warning letter or just let 'em have one across the bow?

[pshrynk]

Originally Posted by vivaldirules

Pshwynk, oh sir, oh sir. This is VR, your loyal Chief of Security and future King of Homeland Security, reporting back for duty (pant). Sorry for taking so long but I can assure you that my tail (pant) is indeed still there (pant, pant) just as you ordered. I just couldn't catch up to the darn thing and, well, I started thinking about the state of our country and all those rogue states that need to be brought bacon...I mean...back in line again. Anyway, maybe tomorrow, for the good of the country, of course, we could invade Iowa. I hear they have some good porkers there. I mean to say pork barrellers. Gotta stop that. So whaddaya say? Should I send the governor there a warning letter or just let 'em have one across the bow?

They're kind of under water, right now, so finding the bow would be difficult. Pigs do swim well, however, so I'd hold off the invasion for a couple weeks until it's drier.

I'll be in Iowa in two weeks for my dad's 80th B'day, so I can do the initial scouting for you. I would suggest Walker's hog confinement operation just outside Washington as a starting point, since they are a) large and b) smelly. Everyone would win. you chould have your bacon, and I could have an odor free visit with the parentals.