User Poetry - Page 12

montsnmags · 05-21-2008, 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

i like all three versions together.

I used "catcher" and "flyer" only because I think they're the English terms used in trapeze. Whether they're appropriate poetic translations...well, you're speaking to one who is monolingual, so I couldn't begin to say.

Cheers,
Marc

zelda_pinwheel · 05-21-2008, 08:56 PM

perfect, now i know those words ; i have felt their lack before. also i think they are quite lovely poetic translations.

badgoodDeb · 05-21-2008, 08:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

we should try more poèmes à six mains.

Please do! I enjoyed the results and the process, reading it in progress.

P.S. I think I've heard those terms too (just finished a book which briefly touched on the circus).

Taylor514ce · 05-22-2008, 08:44 AM

Cinquains are a poetic form, heavily influenced by haiku. Cinquains have five lines, and each line has a specific number of syllables. The pattern is 2, 4, 6, 8, 2. The form was developed by Adelaide Crapsey.

Cinquains don't generally rhyme, though alliteration and internal rhymes are common, as they are in Japanese haiku. Generally, the form allows for a tanka-like "turn", usually in the form of building and resolving tension.

One poet described it as stretching a rubber band. It starts small, and each line lengthens the rubber band further, building tension, until it snaps back in the final 2-syllable line.

Tension can also be built by skillful use of closed and enjambed lines.

I'll use one I wrote earlier to illustrate (not because it's brilliant, but because I know what I was trying to do).

Now what?
Now that we've each
said that sad, fateful word --
all we can hear now are fading
echoes.

Line 1 is closed. Line 2 is enjambed, and that syntactic breaks leaves the reader mentally reaching for closure. Each what? It builds a small amount of tension. Line 3 is closed, resolving tension, and slowing the poem down to a complete thought: divorce? Line 3 is enjambed, so creates tension, and then the poem slams shut abruptly on "echoes". It's so abrupt, the reader can almost hear the word "divorce", echoing. The long fourth line, especially when enjambed, is like rushing around a corner, only to hit a brick wall. Then other meanings can creep in, like aftershocks: echoes of love, still there, but fading? I also used the word "now" three times, to keep moving the poem forward in time by incremental degrees.

It's a very interesting form, and easy enough to try. You don't have to think too hard about closure and enjambment, tension and resolution, or the "snap". The form itself almost FORCES these characteristics. Give it a shot! Let's post some more cinquains.

GeoffC · 05-22-2008, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taylor514ce

To wax, or not to wax, that is the question.

All I can say,
bikini wax, too,
ouch...

zelda_pinwheel · 05-22-2008, 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeoffC

All I can say,
bikini wax, too,
ouch...

sing it, brotha...

GeoffC · 05-22-2008, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

sing it, brotha...

hey sis, do you sing when you wax, or is that too personal a question?

zelda_pinwheel · 05-22-2008, 10:39 AM

i doubt anyone could call it "singing"...

GeoffC · 05-22-2008, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

i doubt anyone could call it "singing"...

From you, it would be pure bliss..

zelda_pinwheel · 05-22-2008, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeoffC

From you, it would be pure bliss..

definitive proof that you have never heard me sing (you aren't likely to, either).

GeoffC · 05-22-2008, 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

definitive proof that you have never heard me sing (you aren't likely to, either).

I can always come over and help hold you down, I'm sure we can get some willing helpers...

zelda_pinwheel · 05-22-2008, 10:48 AM

thank you, but that won't be necessary (or effective, so no point in insisting).

GeoffC · 05-22-2008, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

thank you, but that won't be necessary (or effective, so no point in insisting).

Ah but I do, don't we lads...

vivaldirules · 05-22-2008, 11:00 AM

I'd be happy to just watch. Purely out of intellectual curiosity, mind you.

GeoffC · 05-22-2008, 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vivaldirules

I'd be happy to just watch. Purely out of intellectual curiosity, mind you.

sketch-pad and pencil to hand...

05-22-2008, 08:44 AM	#169
Taylor514ce Actively passive. Posts: 2,042 Karma: 478376 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: US Device: Sony PRS-505/LC	What are cinquains? Cinquains are a poetic form, heavily influenced by haiku. Cinquains have five lines, and each line has a specific number of syllables. The pattern is 2, 4, 6, 8, 2. The form was developed by Adelaide Crapsey. Cinquains don't generally rhyme, though alliteration and internal rhymes are common, as they are in Japanese haiku. Generally, the form allows for a tanka-like "turn", usually in the form of building and resolving tension. One poet described it as stretching a rubber band. It starts small, and each line lengthens the rubber band further, building tension, until it snaps back in the final 2-syllable line. Tension can also be built by skillful use of closed and enjambed lines. I'll use one I wrote earlier to illustrate (not because it's brilliant, but because I know what I was trying to do). Now what? Now that we've each said that sad, fateful word -- all we can hear now are fading echoes. Line 1 is closed. Line 2 is enjambed, and that syntactic breaks leaves the reader mentally reaching for closure. Each what? It builds a small amount of tension. Line 3 is closed, resolving tension, and slowing the poem down to a complete thought: divorce? Line 3 is enjambed, so creates tension, and then the poem slams shut abruptly on "echoes". It's so abrupt, the reader can almost hear the word "divorce", echoing. The long fourth line, especially when enjambed, is like rushing around a corner, only to hit a brick wall. Then other meanings can creep in, like aftershocks: echoes of love, still there, but fading? I also used the word "now" three times, to keep moving the poem forward in time by incremental degrees. It's a very interesting form, and easy enough to try. You don't have to think too hard about closure and enjambment, tension and resolution, or the "snap". The form itself almost FORCES these characteristics. Give it a shot! Let's post some more cinquains. Last edited by Taylor514ce; 05-22-2008 at 08:50 AM.

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05-21-2008, 08:56 PM	#167
zelda_pinwheel zeldinha zippy zeldissima Posts: 27,827 Karma: 921169 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Paris, France Device: eb1150 & is that a nook in her pocket, or she just happy to see you?	perfect, now i know those words ; i have felt their lack before. also i think they are quite lovely poetic translations.

05-22-2008, 10:39 AM	#173
zelda_pinwheel zeldinha zippy zeldissima Posts: 27,827 Karma: 921169 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Paris, France Device: eb1150 & is that a nook in her pocket, or she just happy to see you?	i doubt anyone could call it "singing"...

05-22-2008, 10:48 AM	#177
zelda_pinwheel zeldinha zippy zeldissima Posts: 27,827 Karma: 921169 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Paris, France Device: eb1150 & is that a nook in her pocket, or she just happy to see you?	thank you, but that won't be necessary (or effective, so no point in insisting).

05-22-2008, 11:00 AM	#179
vivaldirules When's Doughnut Day? Posts: 10,059 Karma: 13675475 Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Houston, TX, US Device: Sony PRS-505, iPad	I'd be happy to just watch. Purely out of intellectual curiosity, mind you.