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Old 05-21-2008, 08:53 PM   #166
montsnmags
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i like all three versions together.
I used "catcher" and "flyer" only because I think they're the English terms used in trapeze. Whether they're appropriate poetic translations...well, you're speaking to one who is monolingual, so I couldn't begin to say.

Cheers,
Marc
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Old 05-21-2008, 08:56 PM   #167
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perfect, now i know those words ; i have felt their lack before. also i think they are quite lovely poetic translations.
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Old 05-21-2008, 08:56 PM   #168
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Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel View Post
we should try more poèmes à six mains.
Please do! I enjoyed the results and the process, reading it in progress.

P.S. I think I've heard those terms too (just finished a book which briefly touched on the circus).

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Old 05-22-2008, 08:44 AM   #169
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What are cinquains?

Cinquains are a poetic form, heavily influenced by haiku. Cinquains have five lines, and each line has a specific number of syllables. The pattern is 2, 4, 6, 8, 2. The form was developed by Adelaide Crapsey.

Cinquains don't generally rhyme, though alliteration and internal rhymes are common, as they are in Japanese haiku. Generally, the form allows for a tanka-like "turn", usually in the form of building and resolving tension.

One poet described it as stretching a rubber band. It starts small, and each line lengthens the rubber band further, building tension, until it snaps back in the final 2-syllable line.

Tension can also be built by skillful use of closed and enjambed lines.

I'll use one I wrote earlier to illustrate (not because it's brilliant, but because I know what I was trying to do).

Now what?
Now that we've each
said that sad, fateful word --
all we can hear now are fading
echoes.


Line 1 is closed. Line 2 is enjambed, and that syntactic breaks leaves the reader mentally reaching for closure. Each what? It builds a small amount of tension. Line 3 is closed, resolving tension, and slowing the poem down to a complete thought: divorce? Line 3 is enjambed, so creates tension, and then the poem slams shut abruptly on "echoes". It's so abrupt, the reader can almost hear the word "divorce", echoing. The long fourth line, especially when enjambed, is like rushing around a corner, only to hit a brick wall. Then other meanings can creep in, like aftershocks: echoes of love, still there, but fading? I also used the word "now" three times, to keep moving the poem forward in time by incremental degrees.

It's a very interesting form, and easy enough to try. You don't have to think too hard about closure and enjambment, tension and resolution, or the "snap". The form itself almost FORCES these characteristics. Give it a shot! Let's post some more cinquains.

Last edited by Taylor514ce; 05-22-2008 at 08:50 AM.
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Old 05-22-2008, 10:32 AM   #170
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To wax, or not to wax, that is the question.
All I can say,
bikini wax, too,
ouch...
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Old 05-22-2008, 10:35 AM   #171
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All I can say,
bikini wax, too,
ouch...
sing it, brotha...
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Old 05-22-2008, 10:38 AM   #172
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sing it, brotha...
hey sis, do you sing when you wax, or is that too personal a question?
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Old 05-22-2008, 10:39 AM   #173
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i doubt anyone could call it "singing"...
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Old 05-22-2008, 10:41 AM   #174
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i doubt anyone could call it "singing"...
From you, it would be pure bliss..
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Old 05-22-2008, 10:44 AM   #175
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From you, it would be pure bliss..
definitive proof that you have never heard me sing (you aren't likely to, either).
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Old 05-22-2008, 10:45 AM   #176
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definitive proof that you have never heard me sing (you aren't likely to, either).
I can always come over and help hold you down, I'm sure we can get some willing helpers...
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Old 05-22-2008, 10:48 AM   #177
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thank you, but that won't be necessary (or effective, so no point in insisting).
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Old 05-22-2008, 10:53 AM   #178
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thank you, but that won't be necessary (or effective, so no point in insisting).
Ah but I do, don't we lads...
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Old 05-22-2008, 11:00 AM   #179
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I'd be happy to just watch. Purely out of intellectual curiosity, mind you.
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Old 05-22-2008, 11:01 AM   #180
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I'd be happy to just watch. Purely out of intellectual curiosity, mind you.
sketch-pad and pencil to hand...
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