Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 280

orlok · 11-29-2011, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wodin

With friends like that ...

...who needs enemas?

Fbone · 11-29-2011, 04:25 PM

Spotted on the back of a T-shirt worn by LAPD Bomb Squad: If you see me running, try to keep up.

James_Wilde · 11-29-2011, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

Spotted on the back of a T-shirt worn by LAPD Bomb Squad: If you see me running, try to keep up.

Now you've let me down, Fbone. I've got a tee-shirt with that text that I bought - in Venice beach, LA - about the turn of the century.

odiakkoh · 11-29-2011, 08:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

Spotted on the back of a T-shirt worn by LAPD Bomb Squad: If you see me running, try to keep up.

LMAO please tell me that's true.

maianhvk · 11-29-2011, 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wodin

With friends like that ...

Try this.

When your friends are drinking from a bottle, sneak up and hold it high up, so that all the water goes straight into their mouths

Fbone · 11-29-2011, 10:57 PM

Since my last post was an oldie, here is another.

Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

dreams · 11-30-2011, 02:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

<snip>
Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

Stress is when you wonder if brewing is _really_ a necessary step in the consumption of coffee.

CyGuy · 11-30-2011, 12:05 PM

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!'
After a few seconds, Little Davie stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Little Davie ?'
'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'

Fbone · 11-30-2011, 02:37 PM

Summer must be over. My neighbor just returned my lawn furniture.

Lycoming · 11-30-2011, 03:07 PM

CALORIES

( noun)

Tiny Creatures that live in
Your closet and sew your
clothes a little tighter
every night

Fbone · 11-30-2011, 07:21 PM

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty are "XL".

slussen2 · 12-01-2011, 11:01 AM

Quote:

Some are in-copyright, but you're unlikely to be taken to court for copying jokes from one site to another on an individual basis.

Thanks for that pDurrant.

Relative values
A man in a bar sees Alex at a table, drinking by himself.
"Alex, you look terrible”, he says. "My mother died in August," says Alex, "and left me $25,000." " That's tough," the man replied. "Then in September," Alex continued, "My father died, leaving me $90,000." "My god. Your parents gone in two months. That must be awful!" "And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000." "All three lost in as many months! How sad."
"Then this month," said Alex, "absolutely nothing!"

Fbone · 12-01-2011, 02:12 PM

Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until ALL the birds have gone South for the Winter.

WT Sharpe · 12-01-2011, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until ALL the birds have gone South for the Winter.

Now there's good advice if I ever heard it!

Fbone · 12-01-2011, 09:40 PM

Never pick a quarrel, even when it's ripe.

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11-29-2011, 04:25 PM	#4187
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,296 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Spotted on the back of a T-shirt worn by LAPD Bomb Squad: If you see me running, try to keep up.

11-29-2011, 10:57 PM	#4191
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,296 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Since my last post was an oldie, here is another. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

11-30-2011, 12:05 PM	#4193
CyGuy Avid Reader Posts: 769 Karma: 7777778 Join Date: Aug 2009 Device: PocketBook 902, Galaxy Tab 2 7.0, ASUS TF700, and Cybook Gen III	A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Davie stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Little Davie ?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'

11-30-2011, 02:37 PM	#4194
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,296 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Summer must be over. My neighbor just returned my lawn furniture.

11-30-2011, 03:07 PM	#4195
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	CALORIES ( noun) Tiny Creatures that live in Your closet and sew your clothes a little tighter every night

11-30-2011, 07:21 PM	#4196
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,296 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty are "XL".

12-01-2011, 02:12 PM	#4198
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,296 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until ALL the birds have gone South for the Winter.

12-01-2011, 09:40 PM	#4200
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,296 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Never pick a quarrel, even when it's ripe.