Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 263

odiakkoh · 10-23-2011, 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bikeridr

Anyway, from my point of view, the joke would have been funny still without that last paragraph.

My pov it wouldnt have made much sense as a joke. I wouldve been like...ok you took a bus home, so what?

yvanleterrible · 10-24-2011, 06:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lycoming

I would like to share an experience with you. It concerns drinking and driving.
As you know some of us have had brushes with the authorities on our way home in recent months.

Well, I, for one, have done something about it. The other night I was out for a dinner and a few drinks with some friends.
After having far too much BEER, and knowing full well I was wasted, I did something I have never done before, I took a bus home.

*I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise in itself, as I have never driven a bus before.*

There is something funny in this joke that has nothing to do with drunkenness or driving. It's the surprise of the punch line. How in he** did this guy get his hands on a bus?

pdurrant · 10-24-2011, 06:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

How in he** did this guy get his hands on a bus?

Umm..... it's a joke. In jokes all kinds of unlikely events occur. When was the last time you saw a horse or a piece of string walking into a pub?

odiakkoh · 10-24-2011, 06:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pdurrant

Umm..... it's a joke. In jokes all kinds of unlikely events occur. When was the last time you saw a horse or a piece of string walking into a pub?

I think he was just being silly to lighten the mood.

pdurrant · 10-24-2011, 07:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by odiakkoh

I think he was just being silly to lighten the mood.

I confess I do sometimes suffer from literalism.

E.g. a sign near a sink: "Caution: Hot Water Burns". Umm... no, not unless it's got hydrocarbons in it!

maianhvk · 10-24-2011, 11:27 AM

Year 1981:
1. Prince Charles got married.
2. Liverpool won the European Cup.
3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament.
4. Pope was assassinated.

Year 2005:
1. Prince Charles got married.
2. Liverpool won the European Cup.
3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament.
4. Pope died.

In the future, if Prince Charles decides to remarry... please warn the Pope!

pdurrant · 10-24-2011, 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maianhvk

Year 1981:
4. Pope was assassinated.

Year 2005:
4. Pope died.

It's almost right. In 1981 the Pope (John Paul II) was shot in an assassination attempt, but survived. The same Pope (John Paul II) did die (of unrelated causes) in 2005.

MJK2111 · 10-24-2011, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lycoming

I would like to share an experience with you. It concerns drinking and driving.
As you know some of us have had brushes with the authorities on our way home in recent months.

Well, I, for one, have done something about it. The other night I was out for a dinner and a few drinks with some friends.
After having far too much BEER, and knowing full well I was wasted, I did something I have never done before, I took a bus home.

*I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise in itself, as I have never driven a bus before.*

NEVER drink and drive. You might his a bump and spill some!

Fbone · 10-24-2011, 01:52 PM

I gave up on Computer Dating after I was stood up by two mainframes, a PC, and a laptop.

Lycoming · 10-24-2011, 02:26 PM

There are many subjects which have "Taboo" scrawled all over them. One of them is Alzheimer's. BUT, my mother is slowly slipping into it's grasp and yet laughs uproariously when we have a crack back at the disease. This happened this morning.

Mum has been having memory problems for a while now and gets frustrated by it, she can however still hold her own when given the opportunity. This morning we were chatting about how the Papists can take most of the blame for the ills of the world, which always gets a rise from her, but it's the severity of an education under a Methodist family that really hurts. Of course she got indignant, until I said, "Well soon enough you'll be in front of that old bugger with the beard and thick glasses, he'll look down his list, mutter "P***y, P***y, Joan, oh yes I know everything you've done." And you'll be able to thank him because you can't remember a thing due to Alzheimer's." She was in hysterics, it made her morning to laugh at her own misfortune.

So maybe not every subject is taboo.

badgoodDeb · 10-24-2011, 02:59 PM

I'm glad she has some good days, and also glad she can laugh at it! Laughter really IS the best medicine.

pilotbob · 10-24-2011, 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pdurrant

Umm..... it's a joke. In jokes all kinds of unlikely events occur. When was the last time you saw a horse or a piece of string walking into a pub?

That reminds me of a joke...

Two guys walked into a bar...

...the third ducked.

BOb

Fbone · 10-24-2011, 10:58 PM

I grew up with four sisters. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.

maianhvk · 10-24-2011, 11:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pdurrant

It's almost right. In 1981 the Pope (John Paul II) was shot in an assassination attempt, but survived. The same Pope (John Paul II) did die (of unrelated causes) in 2005.

Yes, the original joke has "Pope died" twice, so I googled to check and replaced it with "was assassinated".

wannabee · 10-24-2011, 11:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

I fought the lawn and the lawn won.

I think I'll make a sign and hang it in the garden.

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10-24-2011, 11:27 AM	#3936
maianhvk whimsical Posts: 2,779 Karma: 88193939 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: in darkness Device: current: PPW 4. brick: K3 & Voyage.	Year 1981: 1. Prince Charles got married. 2. Liverpool won the European Cup. 3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament. 4. Pope was assassinated. Year 2005: 1. Prince Charles got married. 2. Liverpool won the European Cup. 3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament. 4. Pope died. In the future, if Prince Charles decides to remarry... please warn the Pope!

10-24-2011, 01:52 PM	#3939
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,313 Karma: 103930826 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I gave up on Computer Dating after I was stood up by two mainframes, a PC, and a laptop.

10-24-2011, 02:26 PM	#3940
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	There are many subjects which have "Taboo" scrawled all over them. One of them is Alzheimer's. BUT, my mother is slowly slipping into it's grasp and yet laughs uproariously when we have a crack back at the disease. This happened this morning. Mum has been having memory problems for a while now and gets frustrated by it, she can however still hold her own when given the opportunity. This morning we were chatting about how the Papists can take most of the blame for the ills of the world, which always gets a rise from her, but it's the severity of an education under a Methodist family that really hurts. Of course she got indignant, until I said, "Well soon enough you'll be in front of that old bugger with the beard and thick glasses, he'll look down his list, mutter "Py, Py, Joan, oh yes I know everything you've done." And you'll be able to thank him because you can't remember a thing due to Alzheimer's." She was in hysterics, it made her morning to laugh at her own misfortune. So maybe not every subject is taboo.

10-24-2011, 02:59 PM	#3941
badgoodDeb Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,574 Karma: 64462893 Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Harrisburg outskirts Device: Palms, K1-4s, iPads, iPhones, KV, KO1	I'm glad she has some good days, and also glad she can laugh at it! Laughter really IS the best medicine.

10-24-2011, 10:58 PM	#3943
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,313 Karma: 103930826 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I grew up with four sisters. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.