Unutterably Silly Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day

[Stitchawl]

Originally Posted by odiakkoh

LMAO so true.

Also true about the neighbors thing. I was left speechless when my new neighbors next door not only came over to introduce themselves, they brought us a gift.

Were they Asian? That's the norm in Japan. New neighbors bring small gifts to the folks around them to apologize for the chaos they caused by moving in. Instead of a 'Welcome Wagon,' Asia uses an "Excuse Me, I'm sorry" wagon!


Stitchawl

[odiakkoh]

Completely white lol. Im the japanese.

And of course im currently trying to think of a good thank you gift.

[Stitchawl]

Originally Posted by odiakkoh

Completely white lol. Im the japanese.

And of course im currently trying to think of a good thank you gift.

Gomen nasai!


Stitchawl

[odiakkoh]

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

Gomen nasai!


Stitchawl

Lol no need to be sorry.

It was the most awesome-est watermelon ever too.

[Fbone]

Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

[Fbone]

We have enough youth. How about a fountain of "smart"?

[Ajax]

Three men were waiting at Heaven's Gate. St. Peter says, "OK, guys, pretty much anything goes up here, but whatever you do, never lie, or you will spend the rest of eternity with the ugliest women in the universe."

So they all agree and are admitted in. The first guy makes it a week before he lies about how rich he was on Earth. Bam! Right at his side appears the ugliest woman he had ever seen.

The second guy makes it another couple weeks before he lies about how smart he is. Bam! At his side appears the second ugliest woman in the universe.

So the first two guys are walking around with their monsters of women when they see their third friend walking with the hottest woman ever conceived by man. The first two guys say in unison, "How did you land with that babe when we get stuck with these nasty women?"

He nudges the babe and says, "Tell them." She says to the first two guys, "I lied."

[Bikeridr]

I halve a spelling checker,
It came with my pea see.
It plainly marks four my revue
Mistakes I dew knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait aweigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the era rite
Its rarely ever wrong.

I've scent this massage threw it,
And I'm shore your pleased too no
Its letter prefect in every weigh;
My checker tolled me sew.

[Ben Thornton]

Did you read about the dwarf psychic who's escaped from prison?

The headline read: small medium at large.

[HomeInMyShoes]

^Haha. I've heard that one before. I remember this one from university days a long time ago:

A physicist, a biologist and a mathematician are sitting in a street café watching people entering and leaving the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people entering the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three people leaving the house. The physicist says, "The measurement wasn't accurate." The biologist says, "They must have reproduced." The mathematician says, "If one more person enters the house then it will be empty."

[Fbone]

She grew on him like she was a colony of e-coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

[Ben Thornton]

A man dies and goes to heaven, and stands before God, with Jesus at his right hand - but he's surprised to see a janitor with a mop sitting at God's left hand. "Who are you?", he asks. "I'm cleanliness", says the janitor.

[Fbone]

The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

[Stitchawl]

Originally Posted by Ben Thornton

A man dies and goes to heaven, and stands before God, with Jesus at his right hand - but he's surprised to see a janitor with a mop sitting at God's left hand. "Who are you?", he asks. "I'm cleanliness", says the janitor.

I love it!


Stitchawl

[Fbone]

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.