Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 234

GlennD · 08-29-2011, 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

Funny they may be, but none of those incidents happened. They aren't real; they are complete fabrications. They are inventions of someone's imagination.

http://www.snopes.com/travel/trap/congress.asp
.
.

If I believed them, does it mean I'm gullible or just that I have very low expectations of our Congresspeople?

Bikeridr · 08-29-2011, 05:38 PM

+15°C / 59°F
This is as warm as it gets in Norway, so we'll start here.
People in Spain wear winter-coats and gloves.
The Norwegians are out in the sun, getting a tan.

+10°C / 50°F
The French are trying in vain to start their central heating.
The Norwegians plant flowers in their gardens.

+5°C / 41°F
Italian cars won't start.
The Norwegians are cruising in cabriolets.

0°C / 32°F
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Oslo Fjord gets a little thicker.

-5°C / 23°F
People in California almost freeze to death.
The Norwegians have their final barbecue before winter.

-10°C / 14°F
The Brits start the heat in their houses.
The Norwegians start using long sleeves.

-20°C / -4°F
The Aussies flee from Mallorca.
The Norwegians end their Midsummer celebrations.
Autumn is here.

-30°C / -22°F
People in Greece die from the cold and disappear from the face
of the earth.
The Norwegians start drying their laundry indoors.

-40°C / -40°F
Paris start cracking in the cold.
The Norwegians stand in line at the hotdog stands.

-50°C / -58°F > Polar bears start evacuating the North Pole.
The Norwegian army postpones their winter survival training
awaiting real winter weather.

-70°C / -94°F
The false Santa moves south.
The Norwegian army goes out on winter survival training.

-183°C / -297.4°F
Microbes in food don't survive.
The Norvegian cows complain that the farmers' hands are cold.

-273°C / -459.4°F
ALL atom-based movent halts.
The Norwegians start saying "Faen, it's cold outside today."

-300°C / -508°F
Hell freezes over, Norway wins the Eurovision Song Contest.

pdurrant · 08-29-2011, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orlok

I am a suscriber to the view that the qualities that make someone want to enter political life should automatically disqualify them from doing so...

Don't forget that the list is a joke, and not a collection of real events. See http://www.snopes.com/travel/trap/congress.asp

orlok · 08-29-2011, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pdurrant

Don't forget that the list is a joke, and not a collection of real events. See http://www.snopes.com/travel/trap/congress.asp

I didn't realise that - so easy to take t'internet at face value...

Still stick by my statement though.

odiakkoh · 08-29-2011, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bikeridr

-5°C / 23°F
People in California almost freeze to death.
The Norwegians have their final barbecue before winter.

Psh what are you talking about, we froze to death back at 60°F :P

yvanleterrible · 08-29-2011, 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bikeridr

-30°C / -22°F
People in Greece die from the cold and disappear from the face
of the earth.
The Norwegians start drying their laundry indoors.

Pfffffft! We Canadians still barbecue by then....

Fbone · 08-29-2011, 10:55 PM

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.

pilotbob · 08-29-2011, 11:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.

That's where I went when the dinner table was being cleared.

BOb

Bikeridr · 08-30-2011, 09:24 AM

DIARY OF A SNOW SHOVELER

December 8 - 6:00 PM
It started snowing. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktail drinks and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. We love snow!

December 9
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had! Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a little boy again. I cleared both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplough came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow... Such a disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry - we'll definitely have a White Christmas.
No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. However, Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 13
Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature dropped to -20F. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplough came back this afternoon and buried everything again.. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15
20 inches forecast for today. I sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tyres for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. We stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's extravagant. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere.
Today the electricity was off for 4 hours. We had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. Gee I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20
Yippee the electricity's back on, but we had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all day. The damn snowplough came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white stuff fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to go to the loo. By the time I got undressed, and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plough on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying.

December 23
Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to zero. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24
6 inches fell, but the snow was packed so hard by the snowplough, I broke my shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son-of-a-bitch who drives that snowplough, I'll drag him through the snow by his hair and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplough.

December 25 - Christmas Day
Merry F*cking Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight - Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow! Then the snowplough driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a real idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.

December 26
Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,750 to replace 4 of my pipes.

December 28
Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The BITCH is driving me crazy!!!

December 29
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30
Roof caved in. I beat up the snowplough driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted.

December 31
I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8
Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed???

Lycoming · 08-30-2011, 03:21 PM

Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed???

Don't worry, just keep chewing those straps. You may find me out on the street one day. Look for a bloke with a nasty tic and very worn teeth.

Fbone · 08-30-2011, 10:51 PM

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

orlok · 08-31-2011, 07:30 AM

A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away.

At the end of the service the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive.

She lives for ten more years, and then passes away. A ceremony is held at the same place, and at the end of the ceremony the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket.

As they are walking, the husband cries out, "watch out for the f***ing wall this time!'''

astra · 08-31-2011, 03:45 PM

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress--$5,000. Tux rental--$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes--one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice about growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 10 relatives on December 24 in 15 minutes.

NICKNAMES
If Sheila, Candy and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Sheila, Candy, and Sarah.
If Jim, Dan and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba, and Wildman.

MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 237. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

yvanleterrible · 08-31-2011, 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by astra

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress--$5,000. Tux rental--$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes--one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice about growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 10 relatives on December 24 in 15 minutes.

NICKNAMES
If Sheila, Candy and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Sheila, Candy, and Sarah.
If Jim, Dan and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba, and Wildman.

MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 237. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Love it!

Nice find, Astra!

Fbone · 08-31-2011, 09:40 PM

My mother-in-law is very well informed. She can complain on any subject!

08-31-2011, 03:45 PM	#3508
astra The Introvert Posts: 8,307 Karma: 1000077497 Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: United Kingdom Device: Sony Reader PRS-650 & 505 & 500	WHY MEN ALWAYS SEEM HAPPY Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be president. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress--$5,000. Tux rental--$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes--one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice about growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 10 relatives on December 24 in 15 minutes. NICKNAMES If Sheila, Candy and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Sheila, Candy, and Sarah. If Jim, Dan and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba, and Wildman. MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale. BATHROOMS A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 237. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items. MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does. DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

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08-29-2011, 05:38 PM	#3497
Bikeridr Information Acquirer Posts: 436 Karma: 4265156 Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Latvia, Rigas Rajons Device: Kindle 3 International, Pocketbook Color	+15°C / 59°F This is as warm as it gets in Norway, so we'll start here. People in Spain wear winter-coats and gloves. The Norwegians are out in the sun, getting a tan. +10°C / 50°F The French are trying in vain to start their central heating. The Norwegians plant flowers in their gardens. +5°C / 41°F Italian cars won't start. The Norwegians are cruising in cabriolets. 0°C / 32°F Distilled water freezes. The water in Oslo Fjord gets a little thicker. -5°C / 23°F People in California almost freeze to death. The Norwegians have their final barbecue before winter. -10°C / 14°F The Brits start the heat in their houses. The Norwegians start using long sleeves. -20°C / -4°F The Aussies flee from Mallorca. The Norwegians end their Midsummer celebrations. Autumn is here. -30°C / -22°F People in Greece die from the cold and disappear from the face of the earth. The Norwegians start drying their laundry indoors. -40°C / -40°F Paris start cracking in the cold. The Norwegians stand in line at the hotdog stands. -50°C / -58°F > Polar bears start evacuating the North Pole. The Norwegian army postpones their winter survival training awaiting real winter weather. -70°C / -94°F The false Santa moves south. The Norwegian army goes out on winter survival training. -183°C / -297.4°F Microbes in food don't survive. The Norvegian cows complain that the farmers' hands are cold. -273°C / -459.4°F ALL atom-based movent halts. The Norwegians start saying "Faen, it's cold outside today." -300°C / -508°F Hell freezes over, Norway wins the Eurovision Song Contest.

08-29-2011, 10:55 PM	#3502
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,296 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.

08-30-2011, 09:24 AM	#3504
Bikeridr Information Acquirer Posts: 436 Karma: 4265156 Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Latvia, Rigas Rajons Device: Kindle 3 International, Pocketbook Color	DIARY OF A SNOW SHOVELER December 8 - 6:00 PM It started snowing. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktail drinks and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. We love snow! December 9 We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had! Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a little boy again. I cleared both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplough came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life! December 12 The sun has melted all our lovely snow... Such a disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry - we'll definitely have a White Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. However, Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor. December 13 Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature dropped to -20F. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplough came back this afternoon and buried everything again.. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so. December 15 20 inches forecast for today. I sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tyres for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. We stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's extravagant. We aren't in Alaska, after all. December 16 Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel. December 17 Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Today the electricity was off for 4 hours. We had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. Gee I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room. December 20 Yippee the electricity's back on, but we had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all day. The damn snowplough came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying. December 22 Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white stuff fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to go to the loo. By the time I got undressed, and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plough on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying. December 23 Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to zero. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying. December 24 6 inches fell, but the snow was packed so hard by the snowplough, I broke my shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son-of-a-bitch who drives that snowplough, I'll drag him through the snow by his hair and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplough. December 25 - Christmas Day Merry F*cking Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight - Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow! Then the snowplough driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a real idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave. December 26 Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves. December 27 Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,750 to replace 4 of my pipes. December 28 Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The BITCH is driving me crazy!!! December 29 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am? December 30 Roof caved in. I beat up the snowplough driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted. December 31 I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling. January 8 Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed???

08-30-2011, 03:21 PM	#3505
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed??? Don't worry, just keep chewing those straps. You may find me out on the street one day. Look for a bloke with a nasty tic and very worn teeth.

08-30-2011, 10:51 PM	#3506
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,296 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

08-31-2011, 07:30 AM	#3507
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for ten more years, and then passes away. A ceremony is held at the same place, and at the end of the ceremony the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out, "watch out for the f***ing wall this time!'''

08-31-2011, 09:40 PM	#3510
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,296 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	My mother-in-law is very well informed. She can complain on any subject!