Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 228

Fbone · 08-02-2011, 04:19 PM

If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs", what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

badgoodDeb · 08-02-2011, 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs", what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

"Tights" ..... as in Robin Hood, Men in Tights .....

wodin · 08-02-2011, 08:49 PM

Leotards?

Fbone · 08-02-2011, 10:45 PM

One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others.

phenomshel · 08-03-2011, 03:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

Of course there's no reason for it, it's just our policy.

Have you been sitting in on manager's meetings at my store??

Lycoming · 08-03-2011, 09:15 AM

If you are easily offended look away now if you don't want to see the score......

What are the small bumps around womens nipples?

It's Braille for "suck here."

You can look again now.

orlok · 08-03-2011, 10:05 AM

Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. "That's it," he tells his wife. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad that once I hit the ball I couldn't see where it went."

His wife sympathises and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down she says, "Why don't you take my brother with you and give it one more try."

"That's no good" sighs Arthur, "your brother's a hundred and three. He can't help."

"He may be a hundred and three", says the wife, "but his eyesight is perfect."

So the next day Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes a mighty swing and squints down the fairway.

He turns to the brother-in-law and says, "Did you see the ball?"

"Of course I did!" replied the brother-in-law. "I have perfect eyesight".

"Where did it go?" says Arthur.

"I don't remember."

WT Sharpe · 08-03-2011, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others.

I must spread a lot of joy!

Fbone · 08-03-2011, 08:44 PM

One of the side effects of Viagra is a headache. Every time I take a pill, my wife gets a headache.

wannabee · 08-03-2011, 10:18 PM

My car is a lemon. The wipers don't wipe, the blinkers don't blink, the spark plugs don't spark and the pistons don't work either.

Cyberman tM · 08-04-2011, 03:48 AM

(A joke I just received via email. Hope the translation is OK?)

When Satan suddenly appeared in front of a church, all the people ran screaming into the holy building for cover.
All but one old man, remaining calmly sitting on a bank.
Curious, Satan asks him: "Why don't you run away from me? Don't you know I could kill you with but a single word?".
"Sure, I know.", the man replies.
Satan: "Do you understand that I could condemn you to an eternity of pain and fear?"
"I have no doubt about it", the man replies, still calm.
"Then why don't you run?", Satan wants to know.
To which the man - still calm - replies "Because I've been married to your sister for 50 years now!".

Fbone · 08-04-2011, 11:01 PM

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, she'll tell anything.

Fbone · 08-05-2011, 06:16 PM

One thing that makes me believe in UFOs is, sometimes I lose stuff.

Lycoming · 08-06-2011, 12:17 PM

I got this new deodorant today.
The instructions said 'remove cap and push up bottom.'
I can barely walk, but whenever I phart, the room smells wonderful.

pilotbob · 08-06-2011, 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lycoming

I got this new deodorant today.
The instructions said 'remove cap and push up bottom.'
I can barely walk, but whenever I phart, the room smells wonderful.

DOH! You were supposed to push the cap up bottom, not the deodorant stick.

BOb

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08-02-2011, 04:19 PM	#3406
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,296 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs", what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

08-02-2011, 08:49 PM	#3408
wodin Illiterate Posts: 10,279 Karma: 37848716 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: The Sandwich Isles Device: Samsung Galaxy S10+, Microsoft Surface Pro	Leotards?

08-02-2011, 10:45 PM	#3409
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,296 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others.

08-03-2011, 09:15 AM	#3411
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	If you are easily offended look away now if you don't want to see the score...... What are the small bumps around womens nipples? It's Braille for "suck here." You can look again now.

08-03-2011, 10:05 AM	#3412
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. "That's it," he tells his wife. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad that once I hit the ball I couldn't see where it went." His wife sympathises and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down she says, "Why don't you take my brother with you and give it one more try." "That's no good" sighs Arthur, "your brother's a hundred and three. He can't help." "He may be a hundred and three", says the wife, "but his eyesight is perfect." So the next day Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes a mighty swing and squints down the fairway. He turns to the brother-in-law and says, "Did you see the ball?" "Of course I did!" replied the brother-in-law. "I have perfect eyesight". "Where did it go?" says Arthur. "I don't remember."

08-03-2011, 08:44 PM	#3414
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,296 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	One of the side effects of Viagra is a headache. Every time I take a pill, my wife gets a headache.

08-03-2011, 10:18 PM	#3415
wannabee Media Bloke Posts: 2,382 Karma: 113956855 Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: NSW - Australia Device: iOS	My car is a lemon. The wipers don't wipe, the blinkers don't blink, the spark plugs don't spark and the pistons don't work either.

08-04-2011, 03:48 AM	#3416
Cyberman tM Evangelist Posts: 439 Karma: 2248782 Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Austria Device: Inkbook Prime; Icarus Illumina;ImcoV6l;EB600;Kobo	(A joke I just received via email. Hope the translation is OK?) When Satan suddenly appeared in front of a church, all the people ran screaming into the holy building for cover. All but one old man, remaining calmly sitting on a bank. Curious, Satan asks him: "Why don't you run away from me? Don't you know I could kill you with but a single word?". "Sure, I know.", the man replies. Satan: "Do you understand that I could condemn you to an eternity of pain and fear?" "I have no doubt about it", the man replies, still calm. "Then why don't you run?", Satan wants to know. To which the man - still calm - replies "Because I've been married to your sister for 50 years now!".

08-04-2011, 11:01 PM	#3417
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,296 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, she'll tell anything.

08-05-2011, 06:16 PM	#3418
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,296 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	One thing that makes me believe in UFOs is, sometimes I lose stuff.

08-06-2011, 12:17 PM	#3419
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	I got this new deodorant today. The instructions said 'remove cap and push up bottom.' I can barely walk, but whenever I phart, the room smells wonderful.