The Vent and Rant Thread

[poohbear_nc]

Originally Posted by orlok

I hate residents associations. Get your own back when you move in by putting your car up on bricks

Pink plastic flamingos! Yard sheep!

On a related note, an African-American friend moved into an upper class neighborhood in Philadelphia .... and noted that all the houses had those old-fashioned jockey lawn boys holding lanterns - and all were black jockeys. So she purchased one herself, painted the face & hands white, and put it on her lawn. And her "neighbors" had the nerve to accuse her of racism!

[kindlekitten]

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

Pink plastic flamingos! Yard sheep!

On a related note, an African-American friend moved into an upper class neighborhood in Philadelphia .... and noted that all the houses had those old-fashioned jockey lawn boys holding lanterns - and all were black jockeys. So she purchased one herself, painted the face & hands white, and put it on her lawn. And her "neighbors" had the nerve to accuse her of racism!

[CWatkinsNash]

My dog doesn't cooperate in hot weather. For his midday walks, he goes to the end of the driveway and stands by the road, surveying what he misguidedly believes is his domain (the entire block). Then he digs in and refuses to be moved. (You'd be surprised how strong a 20-pound Yorkie can be. He's solid muscle.) It's in the 90s, sun beating down, and I just want him to go to the nearest telephone pole and pee a few times so we can go back in.

But today was payback. He wanted to hang out at the edge of the road, I was trying to coerce him back into the yard to find a pee target, and a truck drove by with a dog in it. The dog barked at Teddy, Teddy jumped and RAN back to the house. I had quite a laugh, and now he's pouting because he doesn't like to be laughed at.

[poohbear_nc]

!@$*)_+)*(&^%$#^*)*&%$#@!#%&*(
*&%#%#!@~#%*)_><?><(*^&%#@!!

Pardon my language. I just cleaned my cat scratches & re-applied the antibiotic ointment [see previous rant]

[phenomshel]

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

!@$*)_+)*(&^%$#^*)*&%$#@!#%&*(
*&%#%#!@~#%*)_><?><(*^&%#@!!

Pardon my language. I just cleaned my cat scratches & re-applied the antibiotic ointment [see previous rant]

*wince*

Pooh, I'll trade you Stella (monster kitten from hell) for a miniature calico (maybe part Singapura,) unspayed, going into heat, imitating being attached to a bungee cord, and trying to make love to my ankles....

[poohbear_nc]

Originally Posted by phenomshel

*wince*

Pooh, I'll trade you Stella (monster kitten from hell) for a miniature calico (maybe part Singapura,) unspayed, going into heat, imitating being attached to a bungee cord, and trying to make love to my ankles....

I'm actually considering your offer! j
I'll get back to you after I find out whether these scratches are going to become infected!

[poohbear_nc]

OK - I still love my cats - all of them - and even bought Stella a new toy at the vets today - a Jolly Moggy catnip stuffed flounder for her to eviscerate instead of Goldie. It was a purely practical purchase! Really!
[she loves it]

[phenomshel]

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

OK - I still love my cats - all of them - and even bought Stella a new toy at the vets today - a Jolly Moggy catnip stuffed flounder for her to eviscerate instead of Goldie. It was a purely practical purchase! Really!
[she loves it]

You had your vet check out your scratches?

[Stitchawl]

Anyone want to borrow Felicity? She's a scratchless kitty. She still has all her claws, but she NEVER knowingly uses them on humans. Even when the Vet is taking blood IV or when we try to put her into her travel box. She fight's like a demon but never puts out a claw. One caveat; she is absolutely immovable from any climbing surface! We will rent her out to needy families in exchange for karma points.


Stitchawl

[SolRaven]

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

Pink plastic flamingos! Yard sheep!

On a related note, an African-American friend moved into an upper class neighborhood in Philadelphia .... and noted that all the houses had those old-fashioned jockey lawn boys holding lanterns - and all were black jockeys. So she purchased one herself, painted the face & hands white, and put it on her lawn. And her "neighbors" had the nerve to accuse her of racism!

That's awesome! Where'd they find one?

[amward]

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

Today I hate my cats. Well, 2 of them.

Today was Goldie's annual "wellness exam" - shots & blood drawn too. When I picked her up to put her into her travel crate, she deftly clawed me in the armpit with both back feet. Those scratches are gonna feel real good today when I'm sweating.

Then she squirmed during the blood draw, and came home with pressure bandages on both back legs. I had to chase her around the house to get them off.

Then Stella came over and decided the places on Goldie's legs that had been bandaged smelled bad - and began following her, hissing & growling ... and relentlessly followed her around & around & around.

So I put Stella in her play pen to allow Goldie to get into one of her "kitten free" safe zones and relax. But no! Goldie goes over and sits outside the play pen and waits ....

So I let Stella out ....

Repeat above stalking scenario .... three times!

Then ... I give both cats snacks side by side ... both eat snacks peacefully ...

Then .... stalking resumes ....

Now my head hurts .....

So ... I pull out the Baby Wipes and use on Goldie's legs and Stella's paws and chest - now they both smell alike! This tactic seems to be working ... both are washing off the smell and glaring at me.

I'm going on line and ordering an ant farm.

I can so relate to this!

[poohbear_nc]

For rent or lease:

Kitten, one, plus-size (AKA monster size)

Features:
1. Huge green/gold/yellow/brown opal tiger eyes - that can look completely innocent amidst the wreckage of your favorite item.
2. Huge bunny ears with tufts on the tips - that can hear you open the frig or a cabinet from anywhere in the house.
3. Huge squirrel tail that can pick up any & all dust/dirt/debris from your floor or carpet - and then proudly display them in your face!
4. Adorable pink bunny nose that can deliver warm moist nose kisses. Usually on your glasses. In the center of the lens.
5. A purr box that can rumble louder than a jet engine.
6. Unbelievable speed when eluding capture.
7. Catnip stuffed flounder included at no additional charge - you can smack her with it - she loves it, you feel (guiltily) better.

Length of lease:
Until you run out of kitten chow ....

or

Until I forget why I got mad and start to miss her .....
Probably around 5 - 10 minutes or so.

[please ignore any emails you receive from Sammy or Goldie cat offering to sell you Stella - they'll get over it too!]

[DixieGal]

LOL! I would sure like to watch Stella go about her day. How's about a webcam?

[kindlekitten]

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

For rent or lease:

Kitten, one, plus-size (AKA monster size)

Features:
1. Huge green/gold/yellow/brown opal tiger eyes - that can look completely innocent amidst the wreckage of your favorite item.
2. Huge bunny ears with tufts on the tips - that can hear you open the frig or a cabinet from anywhere in the house.
3. Huge squirrel tail that can pick up any & all dust/dirt/debris from your floor or carpet - and then proudly display them in your face!
4. Adorable pink bunny nose that can deliver warm moist nose kisses. Usually on your glasses. In the center of the lens.
5. A purr box that can rumble louder than a jet engine.
6. Unbelievable speed when eluding capture.
7. Catnip stuffed flounder included at no additional charge - you can smack her with it - she loves it, you feel (guiltily) better.

Length of lease:
Until you run out of kitten chow ....

or

Until I forget why I got mad and start to miss her .....
Probably around 5 - 10 minutes or so.

[please ignore any emails you receive from Sammy or Goldie cat offering to sell you Stella - they'll get over it too!]

hehehe! Strider was getting close this morning! I have one of those room divider screens in my bedroom that is designed for putting accessories, such as belts, hats, etc on... he had jumped on top of it (annoying but not terribly unusual) this morning around 3, but then managed to launch himself off in such a fashion to make it fall over causing heart palpitations in both the dog and myself. later when I was officially out of bed and having coffee he managed to walk across the laptop keyboard and hit the correct succession of keys to cause the screen appearance to pivot 90 degrees

[DixieGal]

He was doing the online application for gymnastic class (advanced level).