Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 193

Fbone · 04-25-2011, 08:19 PM

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar.

After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"

To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"

Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes.

She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."

To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200!!!"

wodin · 04-25-2011, 09:40 PM

Karma to you Stitchawl!

orlok · 04-26-2011, 05:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200!!!"

orlok · 04-26-2011, 05:12 AM

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft and it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

Fbone · 04-26-2011, 01:27 PM

Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other : "Funny, I smell carrots too."

zekes · 04-27-2011, 03:11 AM

Three men were trekking through the desert and came across a magician. The magician was standing at the top of a slide. The magician than said, ''You may each go down the slide, asking for a drink. When you reach the bottom of the slide you shall land a a huge glass of that drink.

The first man went down yelling, ''Beerrr!!!'' Plop! He landed in a glass of beer.

The second guy went down the slide yelling,''lemonadeee!!!'' Plop! He landed in a glass of lemonade.

The third guy went down the slide yelling ''wheeeeeeeee!!!''

orlok · 04-27-2011, 04:47 AM

Fbone · 04-27-2011, 02:30 PM

You ever hear the joke about the broken pencil?

Nevermind, it's pointless.

kennyc · 04-27-2011, 02:59 PM

Re-Run!

orlok · 04-27-2011, 03:35 PM

I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything; trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

Fbone · 04-27-2011, 10:10 PM

A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the rates.
“Fifty dollars for three questions, ” replied the lawyer.

“Isn't that awfully steep?” asked the man.

“Yes,” the lawyer replied, “and what was your third question?”

Fbone · 04-27-2011, 10:12 PM

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:

"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."

"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."

The defendant smiled. And, with his lawyer's assistance, he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench and walked out.

Stitchawl · 04-28-2011, 04:06 AM

Stitchawl

orlok · 04-28-2011, 04:51 AM

Reminiscent of my own kids finding out the real hard facts (about the Tooth Fairy and Santa, of course!)

pilotbob · 04-28-2011, 09:56 AM

Did you hear the one about the jump rope.... aww skip it.

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04-25-2011, 08:19 PM	#2881
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,297 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?" To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations." To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200!!!"

04-25-2011, 09:40 PM	#2882
wodin Illiterate Posts: 10,279 Karma: 37848716 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: The Sandwich Isles Device: Samsung Galaxy S10+, Microsoft Surface Pro	Karma to you Stitchawl!

04-26-2011, 05:12 AM	#2884
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft and it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

04-26-2011, 01:27 PM	#2885
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,297 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other : "Funny, I smell carrots too."

04-27-2011, 03:11 AM	#2886
zekes Member Posts: 12 Karma: 29296 Join Date: Dec 2010 Device: none	Three men were trekking through the desert and came across a magician. The magician was standing at the top of a slide. The magician than said, ''You may each go down the slide, asking for a drink. When you reach the bottom of the slide you shall land a a huge glass of that drink. The first man went down yelling, ''Beerrr!!!'' Plop! He landed in a glass of beer. The second guy went down the slide yelling,''lemonadeee!!!'' Plop! He landed in a glass of lemonade. The third guy went down the slide yelling ''wheeeeeeeee!!!''

04-27-2011, 04:47 AM	#2887
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"

04-27-2011, 02:30 PM	#2888
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,297 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	You ever hear the joke about the broken pencil? Nevermind, it's pointless.

04-27-2011, 02:59 PM	#2889
kennyc The Dank Side of the Moon Posts: 35,917 Karma: 119747553 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Denver, CO Device: Kindle2; Kindle Fire	Re-Run!

04-27-2011, 03:35 PM	#2890
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything; trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.

04-27-2011, 10:10 PM	#2891
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,297 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the rates. “Fifty dollars for three questions, ” replied the lawyer. “Isn't that awfully steep?” asked the man. “Yes,” the lawyer replied, “and what was your third question?”

04-28-2011, 04:06 AM	#2893
Stitchawl Opsimath Posts: 12,344 Karma: 187123287 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand Device: Sony PRS-650, iPhone 5, Kobo Glo, Sony PRS-350, iPad, Samsung Galaxy	Stitchawl

04-27-2011, 10:12 PM	#2892
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,297 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. And, with his lawyer's assistance, he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench and walked out.

04-28-2011, 04:51 AM	#2894
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	Reminiscent of my own kids finding out the real hard facts (about the Tooth Fairy and Santa, of course!)

04-28-2011, 09:56 AM	#2895
pilotbob Grand Sorcerer Posts: 19,832 Karma: 11844413 Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Tampa, FL USA Device: Kindle Touch	Did you hear the one about the jump rope.... aww skip it.