Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 189

kennyc · 04-17-2011, 07:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

New math, bro?

Well you have to add the taxes in......

WT Sharpe · 04-17-2011, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kennyc

Well you have to add the taxes in......

Of course!

desertblues · 04-17-2011, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mortis

My theory is that anytime you are paying for a service, Cable TV, Internet connection, telephone, etc, and they want you to rent the hardware, they are going to make more money on the hardware than on the service.

If you rent a Cable Box for 5 years at $5 a month, you should be able to buy one, with better functions, for less than $3000.00 you would have paid in rental.

very nice, Mortis!

pilotbob · 04-17-2011, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mortis

If you rent a Cable Box for 5 years at $5 a month, you should be able to buy one, with better functions, for less than $3000.00 you would have paid in rental.

Sure, if you are projecting 50 years out... that's fine. While I generally agree with you (I bought a TiVo) there are other considerations. Also, keep in mind money today is always worth more than money tomorrow.

BOb

Lycoming · 04-17-2011, 04:33 PM

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?

Made her chain too long.

orlok · 04-18-2011, 04:40 AM

An old man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with farting, but it really doesn't bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was passing wind, you see, cause, as I say, they're odourless and noiseless."

The doc says, "I see. Take these pills and come back next week."

Next week the man goes back. "Doc", he says, "I don't know what you gave me, but now when I fart they're still silent, but they stink terribly."

"Good" the doc said, "Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's get to work on your hearing"

yvanleterrible · 04-18-2011, 05:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orlok

An old man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with farting, but it really doesn't bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was passing wind, you see, cause, as I say, they're odourless and noiseless."

The doc says, "I see. Take these pills and come back next week."

Next week the man goes back. "Doc", he says, "I don't know what you gave me, but now when I fart they're still silent, but they stink terribly."

"Good" the doc said, "Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's get to work on your hearing"

Ahhh! Fart jokes! They always get me a belly laugh...

MJK2111 · 04-18-2011, 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

New math, bro?

Maybe he's multiplying using the metric system?

wodin · 04-18-2011, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mortis

My theory is that anytime you are paying for a service, Cable TV, Internet connection, telephone, etc, and they want you to rent the hardware, they are going to make more money on the hardware than on the service.

If you rent a Cable Box for 5 years at $5 a month, you should be able to buy one, with better functions, for less than $3000.00 you would have paid in rental.

Time Warner (Road Runner) doesn't give you the option, you have to use their modem, and it’s included in the cost of the service. It would be naïve to think that you’re not paying for it.

Mortis · 04-18-2011, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wodin

Time Warner (Road Runner) doesn't give you the option, you have to use their modem, and it’s included in the cost of the service. It would be naïve to think that you’re not paying for it.

We pay for everything, nothing is free, no matter what math we use

Lycoming · 04-18-2011, 03:12 PM

T-shirt truths.

The average pilot, despite the somewhat swaggering exterior, is very much capable of such feelings as love, affection, intimacy and caring.

These feelings just don't involve anybody else.

pilotbob · 04-18-2011, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lycoming

T-shirt truths.

The average pilot, despite the somewhat swaggering exterior, is very much capable of such feelings as love, affection, intimacy and caring.

These feelings just don't involve anybody else.

HEY! I resemble that remark.

BOb

wodin · 04-18-2011, 07:37 PM

Yes you do!

Mortis · 04-19-2011, 12:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pilotbob

HEY! I resemble that remark.

BOb

Me Too!

some people just don't appreciate the magnificence we possess, or for that mater we allow you to see

orlok · 04-19-2011, 05:27 AM

A BLOKE sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale."

He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard, so he goes out there and sees a black mutt just sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Sure do," the dog replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The dog looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the MI5 about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders.

"I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running because no one thought a dog would be eavesdropping.

"The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in."

"I uncovered some incredible dealings there, was awarded a string of medals, had a wife, a load of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. The owner says, "10 quid."

The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Cos he's a f***ing liar. He's never done any of that stuff"

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04-17-2011, 04:33 PM	#2825
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong? Made her chain too long.

04-18-2011, 04:40 AM	#2826
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	An old man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with farting, but it really doesn't bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was passing wind, you see, cause, as I say, they're odourless and noiseless." The doc says, "I see. Take these pills and come back next week." Next week the man goes back. "Doc", he says, "I don't know what you gave me, but now when I fart they're still silent, but they stink terribly." "Good" the doc said, "Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's get to work on your hearing"

04-18-2011, 03:12 PM	#2831
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	T-shirt truths. The average pilot, despite the somewhat swaggering exterior, is very much capable of such feelings as love, affection, intimacy and caring. These feelings just don't involve anybody else.

04-18-2011, 07:37 PM	#2833
wodin Illiterate Posts: 10,279 Karma: 37848716 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: The Sandwich Isles Device: Samsung Galaxy S10+, Microsoft Surface Pro	Yes you do!

04-19-2011, 05:27 AM	#2835
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	A BLOKE sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard, so he goes out there and sees a black mutt just sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Sure do," the dog replies. "So, what's your story?" The dog looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the MI5 about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders. "I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running because no one thought a dog would be eavesdropping. "The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in." "I uncovered some incredible dealings there, was awarded a string of medals, had a wife, a load of puppies, and now I'm just retired." The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. The owner says, "10 quid." The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?" "Cos he's a f***ing liar. He's never done any of that stuff"