Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 188

WT Sharpe · 04-16-2011, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mortis

You do realize that because you ordered another modem the one you are using will now never break down. This is known as the Oh bugger I didn't need to spend that" syndrome. It is very similar to the "Oh hell, I knew I should have bought a new one, I'll have to wait until after the long weekend now!" syndrome.

You're probably right!

wodin · 04-16-2011, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

I do have the option of buying or renting one from Cox Cable, but I'd rather have my own.

Ah, but if you'd have rented it, Cox would pay for the new one!

Mortis · 04-16-2011, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wodin

Ah, but if you'd have rented it, Cox would pay for the new one!

The last time I had the option of renting or buying my own modem I did a little math and decided buying was a wiser choice. The provider wanted $10 extra to rent, I bought a better modem for $70 and the best part is my brother is still using that modem almost 10 years later.

WT Sharpe · 04-16-2011, 02:41 PM

The new one is DOCSIS 3.0; backwards compatible to DOCSIS 2.0, so it should be ready for anything my provider wants to throw at it.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001UI2FPE

WT Sharpe · 04-16-2011, 02:46 PM

Here's one many of us can relate to:

A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."

"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"

"Twelve thirty."

orlok · 04-16-2011, 02:46 PM

Voted the best Australian Joke of the year:

A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian coast. He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her. Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable.

The Sarge says, 'Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news'.

'Well,' says the bloke, 'I guess I'd better have the bad news first?' The Sarge says, 'I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead.'

The bloke is naturally pretty distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn. But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news is.

The Sarge says, 'Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized crays and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share.'

He hands the bloke a sugar bag with a couple of nice crays and four or five crabs in it.

'Geez thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that... So what's the other possible good news?

'Well', the Sarge says, 'if you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again!

Lycoming · 04-16-2011, 03:01 PM

MALE SENSITIVITY

The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurance to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.

She said, “Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just take several stops and stay on a soft surface like grass or a path.”

She looked at the men in the room, “And gentlemen, remember -- You're in this together -- It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her.”

The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information.

Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand.

"Yes,” acknowledged the instructor.

”I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk??”

--- This kind of sensitivity just can't be taught ----

WT Sharpe · 04-16-2011, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lycoming

...”I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk??”...

I like the way he thinks. A true gentlemen, always thinking of her welfare first!

Stitchawl · 04-16-2011, 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

Here's one many of us can relate to:

A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."

"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"

"Twelve thirty."

I resemble that remark...

Stitchawl

WT Sharpe · 04-16-2011, 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

I resemble that remark...

Stitchawl

What?

kennyc · 04-16-2011, 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

I do have the option of buying or renting one from Cox Cable, but I'd rather have my own.

And it's generally more economical. Certainly has been in my case. And I've had to replace it once in 7 years.

Mortis · 04-17-2011, 01:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kennyc

And it's generally more economical. Certainly has been in my case. And I've had to replace it once in 7 years.

My theory is that anytime you are paying for a service, Cable TV, Internet connection, telephone, etc, and they want you to rent the hardware, they are going to make more money on the hardware than on the service.

If you rent a Cable Box for 5 years at $5 a month, you should be able to buy one, with better functions, for less than $3000.00 you would have paid in rental.

WT Sharpe · 04-17-2011, 03:03 AM

New math, bro?

Poppaea · 04-17-2011, 05:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mortis

If you rent a Cable Box for 5 years at $5 a month, you should be able to buy one, with better functions, for less than $3000.00 you would have paid in rental.

Best joke so far!

Mortis · 04-17-2011, 05:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poppaea

Best joke so far!

How do you think I justify it, god I hate trying to save a typo

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Add from the Mobile Read Library?	danwdoo	Calibre	8	12-03-2014 06:03 PM
Good Day Eh!! :-)	Gedvondur	Introduce Yourself	12	07-22-2010 12:16 AM
Classic Is there a way to lighten the background?	rlsamson	Barnes & Noble NOOK	3	06-30-2010 04:56 PM
Read-in-Microsoft-Reader 1.1.3 add-in released	Alexander Turcic	Reading and Management	2	02-20-2006 03:47 AM

04-16-2011, 02:41 PM	#2809
WT Sharpe Bah, humbug! Posts: 39,072 Karma: 157049943 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Chesapeake, VA, USA Device: Kindle Oasis, iPad Pro, & a Samsung Galaxy S9.	The new one is DOCSIS 3.0; backwards compatible to DOCSIS 2.0, so it should be ready for anything my provider wants to throw at it. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001UI2FPE

04-16-2011, 02:46 PM	#2810
WT Sharpe Bah, humbug! Posts: 39,072 Karma: 157049943 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Chesapeake, VA, USA Device: Kindle Oasis, iPad Pro, & a Samsung Galaxy S9.	Here's one many of us can relate to: A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect." "Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?" "Twelve thirty."

04-16-2011, 02:46 PM	#2811
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	Voted the best Australian Joke of the year: A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian coast. He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her. Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable. The Sarge says, 'Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news'. 'Well,' says the bloke, 'I guess I'd better have the bad news first?' The Sarge says, 'I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead.' The bloke is naturally pretty distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn. But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news is. The Sarge says, 'Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized crays and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share.' He hands the bloke a sugar bag with a couple of nice crays and four or five crabs in it. 'Geez thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that... So what's the other possible good news? 'Well', the Sarge says, 'if you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again!

04-16-2011, 03:01 PM	#2812
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	MALE SENSITIVITY The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurance to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy. She said, “Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just take several stops and stay on a soft surface like grass or a path.” She looked at the men in the room, “And gentlemen, remember -- You're in this together -- It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her.” The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information. Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand. "Yes,” acknowledged the instructor. ”I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk??” --- This kind of sensitivity just can't be taught ----

04-17-2011, 03:03 AM	#2818
WT Sharpe Bah, humbug! Posts: 39,072 Karma: 157049943 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Chesapeake, VA, USA Device: Kindle Oasis, iPad Pro, & a Samsung Galaxy S9.	New math, bro?