How many times have you said thank you today?

[John Carroll]

I've said it exactly the right number of times.

[Bilbo1967]

Originally Posted by John Carroll

I've said it exactly the right number of times.

Great answer.

[mrscoach]

I don't count, because I say it at least once to every customer where I work, and we get a lot of customers. Today was a slow day, so I might have rung up about 100 orders. There were also other times, like when someone else at work would help by getting me something or handing me something. I tend to say 'thank you' a lot.

[bjones6416]

Originally Posted by astra

I wonder how we manage to talk in the office? When I talk to my friend I never tell her: See you Thursday luv. (She told me once: Jack, our plumber, you know him, the one I recommended to you...he is odd, I called him the other day and he said See you next Monday luv. Since when a plumber calls his client who pays him, luv? He was not like that 5 years ago. The lady I am talking about she is a 56 years old very educated and smart lecturer, middle class representative).
When I pay somebody I expect Sir/Mr. whatever is appropriate but not darling, luv, sweetheart.
College canteen. There is a very nice lady who is very kind and nice, always serve me in canteen. Always give me bigger portion. For some reason all of them like me. I give Christmas card to the team because they are nicer to me than I deserve . She/others know my name and say Hi Astra. However, when she/others serve me a meal she/others call me darling....or love....I hate it.
It is worse with total strangers and it is outrageous. It is familiarity that is unacceptable by me from strangers.

Yikes, you would be VERY uncomfortable here in Georgia, then. I absolutely understand what you are saying, but there is no getting away from it here. No offense is meant by it, and most people would be surprised that you find it over-familiar. In most cases, particularly in a restaurant or a store, I think it is meant to put the customer at ease. I guess it wouldn't work that way for you, huh?

[DixieGal]

Oh, Astra is as close to happy as he is capable of being down in his dark little hole. Ain't that right, Astra Honey?

[phenomshel]

Originally Posted by bjones6416

Yikes, you would be VERY uncomfortable here in Georgia, then. I absolutely understand what you are saying, but there is no getting away from it here. No offense is meant by it, and most people would be surprised that you find it over-familiar. In most cases, particularly in a restaurant or a store, I think it is meant to put the customer at ease. I guess it wouldn't work that way for you, huh?

Yeah, you wouldn't do well here, either, even though this is the northern US, where supposedly people are less friendly. Sir/Ma'am might happen, but you are equally likely to get "Hon" or "dear". As Betty said, no offense is meant, and really, it's not even meant to be overly familiar. It's meant to be homey and warm and folksy, and as Betty says, to put people at ease. Apparently you are one of the ones it would backfire on!!
I was raised in Texas, where it's almost like Georgia in the "hons, darlins, and dears" category; so I guess I'm used to it, but I like it. Makes me feel exactly how it's meant to.

[Billi]

I love to say thank you as often as possible (it can't be said often enough) but the honey/darling/dear thing is totally unused here in Germany. Just the contrary, we still have two forms of you, a formal and an informal one, and we would almost never use the informal form to a stranger, that would be impolite and much too familiar.

[desertblues]

Originally Posted by DixieGal

I'm Southern. We say "Thank you, Sugar/Sweetie/Honey" to everyone all day long.
(And like Canadians, "Excuse me, Sugar/Sweetie/Honey" also.)
Pronunciation Guide: Thaynnnk yew, Shu-gah.

Originally Posted by astra

I wonder how we manage to talk in the office? When I talk to my friend I never tell her: See you Thursday luv. (She told me once: Jack, our plumber, you know him, the one I recommended to you...he is odd, I called him the other day and he said See you next Monday luv. Since when a plumber calls his client who pays him, luv? He was not like that 5 years ago. The lady I am talking about she is a 56 years old very educated and smart lecturer, middle class representative).
When I pay somebody I expect Sir/Mr. whatever is appropriate but not darling, luv, sweetheart.
College canteen. There is a very nice lady who is very kind and nice, always serve me in canteen. Always give me bigger portion. For some reason all of them like me. I give Christmas card to the team because they are nicer to me than I deserve . She/others know my name and say Hi Astra. However, when she/others serve me a meal she/others call me darling....or love....I hate it.
It is worse with total strangers and it is outrageous. It is familiarity that is unacceptable by me from strangers.

I guess it's a cultural thing as well. The English are more private than we are in our country. But we seem to be more like the English than the Southern 'Sugar, sweetey, honey".
If anyone would say that to me in my country, I would probably feel very uncomfortable. It's just not done; it seems to invade my private space. I'm a private person and tend to keep some distance.
I just give a heartfelt thank you, and that's it.

But having said that: when I was in the United States, in the South and everyone called me honey or sugar.........I JUST LOVED IT.......it felt like a ray of sunshine on my head. So welcoming, even if it was just the custom.

[astra]

Originally Posted by desertblues

I guess it's a cultural thing as well. The English are more private than we are in our country.

You hit the nail on the head.
Although, I was not born in the UK, my personality is private. I don't like familiarity. I treat others the way I would like to be treated. No double standards

Sometimes, I try to use mate, but it is hopeless. I just cannot. As well as British pal or American dude. Some sort of mental block

[ATDrake]

Originally Posted by DixieGal

(And like Canadians, "Excuse me, Sugar/Sweetie/Honey" also.)

I only hear (and use) 1 out of 2 of those. There's a distinct lack of sweetieness in my general vicinity and very little buddy/pal/dude/bro/mating (slightly more common in certain demographics overheard on public transit), though people do use "sir/ma'am" more than I get the impression that the neighbours to the immediate south do.

However, what I hear most often is "sorry", which seems to be used somewhat pre-emptively around here. Combined with the local tendency to end sentences with an upwards tone that makes statements sound vaguely like questions, it can take on a slightly passive-aggressive edge* in the hearing.

* Which is also typically Canadian.

[GeoffC]

The number of times doesn't really matter, it's the feeling of it being meant that does.

As to this morning, so far, numerous times to my one and only - plus a couple to the cats when they leave an unwanted present for me to step on in bare feet.

[astra]

Originally Posted by Billi

we still have two forms of you, a formal and an informal one, and we would almost never use the informal form to a stranger, that would be impolite and much too familiar.

The same in Russian.

[DixieGal]

Combined with the local tendency to end sentences with an upwards tone that makes statements sound vaguely like questions

Oh no! I thought that had died out with the 90's!

[ATDrake]

Originally Posted by DixieGal

Oh no! I thought that had died out with the 90's!

Along with many things which one thought to have died out with the 90's, it lives on, undead, in Canada*!!!!!

Muahahahaha…

* The cold probably preserves things longer up here in the Frozen North™.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go prepare† for the 14th Annual Tuk Memorial® downtown polar bear hunt, which is how we welcome the coming of spring to the Lower Mainland.

† Exit, pursued by bear. Again.

[bjones6416]

I do have an amusing story to tell about the "sweetie" thing. My niece was here for a visit recently. She was raised in Southern California and has pretty much stayed there for most of her 40 years. We went to a Dwarf House restaurant, which is an affiliate of Chick-Fil-A, so they have very specific customer service standards. (For example, when somebody thanks a staff member, I think they almost universally answer, "My pleasure.") Our server this particular night kind of went overboard on the welcoming banter, so there was a lot of "sweeties" and even a couple of "angels." It was a little much even for me , but my niece was absolutely enchanted. Sometimes they hit their mark, and sometimes they don't!