What is in your cup?

[astra]

A cup of noname oolong.

Originally Posted by Iridal

A cup of hot milk with honey and then off to bed. We have another national strike tomorrow, so there will be no busses and trams anywhere. Which means I have to take the car. If I don't want to be stuck in traffic for 3 hours, I'll have to get up at 5AM. Stupid strike

Goodnight and see you all tomorrow!

Sleep well!

Originally Posted by beppe

Mine was not revealing but this is too important. So i deleted also.

Sorry. It was too private. Some things you don't say in public forums. Some of these things might be told in a company of close friends in real life. Some never leave bedroom It was silly of me to type what I typed

Originally Posted by beppe

The point is that there are two aspects, the relation between two individuals and the marriage between them. Both have a different behavior according to which society and which time they belong, plus the social contest.

Iceland and Guatemala are not the same thing.

For sure we all aim to a long lasting partnership blessed by children, growing of wealth and all the nice things. Those high powerful trees in an opening of the forest, like the marriage of two high school sweethearts.

It is rare because we grow apart, with different aims and means although when we started we thought we were just one and only, body and soul. And that in previous lives we were already one thing.
When we grow apart too much and the overlapping of our lifes is less than the hanging out, we have both to resort to inner strengths, if we ever developed them, and to conventions, if they still exists and function. Or ... in the openings, new elements might sneak in.

So maybe that is a romantic idea.

I agree with every word you said.

When two people meet, two universes come into contact with each other. Relationship is a life full of compromises. The less compromises you must adopt, the better, the more alike two of you are if you see what I mean. Too many compromises and dissatisfactions start to pile up. An explosion inevitable.
I think one thing each part of the whole should accept from the beginning. You cannot change another person. You cannot break another person's character. To shape it so it suits your ideals better. You must decide before you commit, whether you can live with it or not. No false hopes that you might change the person.
Probably one of the advantages of not rushing and form permanent relationship when you are over 25 is that by that age you know yourself. You are a "finished" person. So, there is more chance to avoid what beppe said:

...we grow apart, with different aims and means although when we started we thought we were just one and only, body and soul....we grow apart too much and the overlapping of our lifes is less than the hanging out

A piece of advice from me?
Be honest. Traditions, conventions, etc., don't matter. Be honest. there is no such a thing as: a woman is not supposed to say it to her man, a man is supposed to do it in the house. Discuss everything. don't keep anything to yourself.
That way you will learn about each other. Knowledge is the power. Eventually, it will help to answer the question: to be or not to be together .

Originally Posted by beppe

You either lean back on conventions or you bet your life on your dream.

I guess that is what my wife did.

[astra]

Originally Posted by Poppaea

Anyone up for a little fun with their tea? Here is a test from Maison Theodor Paris that gives you a hint WHICH TEA ARE YOU

I am an ideal impertinent Parisien Laziness and this is one of my teas Trahison Byzantine

Leads me to....GALLANTRY

[Poppaea]

Originally Posted by astra

Leads me to....GALLANTRY

Fits your words about love

[beppe]

Originally Posted by astra

Be honest. Traditions, conventions, etc., don't matter. Be honest. there is no such a thing as: a woman is not supposed to say it to her man, a man is supposed to do it in the house. Discuss everything. don't keep anything to yourself.
That way you will learn about each other. Knowledge is the power.

I understand why we are such good friends.

It is the only way. Than there can be trust, and things can remain easy. Things that thrive in the dark corners of self and there make damages with doubts and generate panic, insecurities that have to be reassured, hysterics, if one takes them out in the light they dissolve and trust can rule again or start. There is no one like the one that you love and that loves you that can heal you and make you whole. It is the most precious thing.

[beppe]

Originally Posted by Poppaea

Anyone up for a little fun with their tea? Here is a test from Maison Theodor Paris that gives you a hint WHICH TEA ARE YOU

I am an ideal impertinent Parisien Laziness and this is one of my teas Trahison Byzantine

How could I miss that.

Surprise! l'impertinence ç'est mon the, comme vous chere madame. Je boirais volontiers une gorgée, mais votre avatar me fait peur, seulement un peu, pas trop. Je me sentirais gêné ...

[beppe]

Originally Posted by ProfCrash

... when I annoy him...

Brava, I am sure that you do it seldom (almost never) but well, that is better than a tiny bit all the time.

that is half of the fun. It cannot be only sugar, and honey and syrup.

BTW, your story and that of your Parents, that is very nice.

[ProfCrash]

Originally Posted by astra

Leads me to....GALLANTRY

Same here

[ProfCrash]

Originally Posted by beppe

Brava, I am sure that you do it seldom (almost never) but well, that is better than a tiny bit all the time.

that is half of the fun. It cannot be only sugar, and honey and syrup.

BTW, your story and that of your Parents, that is very nice.

Thanks. Most of the time I annoy him it is not intentional and vice versa. Although there are those times when I get really annoyed that the man cannot figure out how to put a plate in the dishwasher.....

I agree with most of what has been said here. My hubby and I are very much alike, we are competitive, we are analytical (although in different ways he is an Engineer and I am a Political Scientist), we love sports, we get very absorbed in our hobbies, ect... But we are also very different. I am more out going, gabby, and adventurous. He is more responsible is the wrong word in some ways but right in others. Maybe, he is more pragmatic, less impulsive, and more private. We tend to balance each other out. I push him to travel more and get out and do things. He helps me take a step back and think through things.

Finding that balance between important similarities and important differences is essential. I would not want to marry me, that would be boring. I needed someone who challenged me and helped me develop into a better person. I think that that is the true calling of a life long lover. To challenge you and help you grow and vice versa.

[Stitchawl]

I'm a little teapot
Short and stout
Here is my handle
Here is my spout

When I get all steamed up
Hear me shout
"Tip me over
and pour me out!"

Goooooood Morning, World! Yesssss, it is another glorious morn, and I'm up and ready to face it full on! I'm already armed with one mug of China Black and about to start on a second as soon as my miso soup is ready. A bit chilly this morning... I think it just may be winter's last gasp. I hope so. I'm tired of wearing heavy clothing when I ride.

Originally Posted by kindlekitten

divorce isn't THAT bad!
when I think of all the adventures I would have missed out on because of being afraid of taking a chance, I would have had a very dull life indeed!

Hear! Hear!! I agree 150%. Having been through a couple of them myself, agree that the relatively short pain of the separation was more than off-set by the pleasures and adventures of the relationships! Although for Robin Williams, he says "“Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.”

Originally Posted by astra

What about Sobacha?

Sorry, Astra. I missed that yesterday. Sobacha is a very VERY common drink in Asian countries that don't have clean drinking water available. They brew up huge vats of the stuff, boiling the water to kill off the nasties, then flavor it with sobacha. It has a slightly nutty flavor, but isn't overpowering. Imagine genmaicha, but with even less green tea flavor. When I used to visit Korea years ago, the budget hotels would have large urns of sobacha on tables at each end of the hallways so one could fill up a pitcher to bring into the rooms. I enjoy sobacha more than genmaicha, but that's me.

Originally Posted by kindlekitten

there are no safety nets in life. if you live your life waiting for the guarantee, you will one day wake up, old wrinkled and alone

I like Helen Keller's quote about this. If a woman who can neither see or hear can say it, I have to believe it's true.

" Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do
the children of man as a whole ever experience it. Avoiding danger is no
safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring
adventure, or nothing." Helen Keller - 1957

Relationship is a life full of compromises.

What a wonderful quote! I think having the likes of Astra and Beppe here for this conversation adds an entirely fulfilling dimension to the notion of "Love and Marriage." Both of them have wisdom gained by years of experience. When it comes to relationships, I just pray for luck. I sure don't have the skill!


Stitchawl

[willijt]

This is such an interesting and rich (in life's experiences) forum to feel a part of. But I am going to opt out of "serious" tonight - lest I get "serious". Instead, I will only tell you about what is not in my cup - but in my wineglass.

In the middle to late 60s I and my university friends were consuming vast amounts of pasta and drinking "affordable" (not to be confused with "cheap") wine. One of the favourites was MATEUS. After all these years I wondered how it might react with my now oh-so-sophisticated-and-world-wise-palate. Well, I am happy to tell you I still like it a lot. Tonight's lasagna has been consumed, and here I sit, pecking away with two fingers, and enjoying yet another glass of the blast from the past - MATEUS. Later, perhaps when the bottle has been emptied (I think it spoils in the fridge if left overnight) I may migrate to the green tea. But for now, I feel at peace to be saying hello to all of you - and to be sipping my Portuguese ambrosia.

[desertblues]

I agree with the sensible opinions about relationships, but not with all

In my cup: cold Arabica- coffee

[Stitchawl]

Trying an experiment... This afternoon I spotted a Ceylon Uva that I'd never tasted before, the price was right (about $6US for 100g) and I'm giving it its first taste right about ... now! Well, it certainly is a Ceylon. Perhaps not the most expressive one I've ever tasted... nice and smooth, with a medium substantial body and a soft, almost creamy aroma. Certainly worth the money, and a tea I'd enjoy as an afternoon tea!

Originally Posted by willijt

In the middle to late 60s I and my university friends were consuming vast amounts of pasta and drinking "affordable" (not to be confused with "cheap") wine. One of the favourites was MATEUS.

A great memory of the '60s! In fact, one evening we discovered that the neck of the Mateus bottle was just the right size to use as a 'guitar slide.' There were two of us who played drinking that evening and fortunately we did have two bottles! I still use the slide I made from that evening's gathering. It's served me well all these years!

I believe that the bottle's neck has been changed a bit over the years as I never hear of people using home made ones any more.



Stitchawl

[Iridal]

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

I think having the likes of Astra and Beppe here for this conversation adds an entirely fulfilling dimension to the notion of "Love and Marriage." Both of them have wisdom gained by years of experience.

I couldn't agree more! They're both very wise AND romantic it seems

When it comes to relationships, I just pray for luck. I sure don't have the skill!

Heh, I feel the same. It's fun to philosophize about love and relationships, but when push comes to shove I just jump right in there and start gobbling

Very early day today, I started working at 7.15AM. Normally I start work around 9AM ... So I've had a Nespresso already and am now brewing a cup of Brazilian Baia. Just one more day and than I can enjoy my 3day-weekend!

[beppe]

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

I believe that the bottle's neck has been changed a bit over the years as I never hear of people using home made ones any more.



Stitchawl

[beppe]

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

pray for luck.

Originally Posted by Iridal

when push comes to shove I just jump right in there and start gobbling

What a good idea! You two are geniuses! I have to try that.

Karma on its way