Awesome thing to do/say to a telemarketer - Page 2

GeoffC · 02-18-2011, 06:01 AM

Even with TPS they seem to 'get through'.

HarryT · 02-18-2011, 06:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeoffC

Even with TPS they seem to 'get through'.

They do, but in nowhere near the same numbers that I used to get them.

Jude2444 · 02-18-2011, 06:35 AM

Loved the video.

nohmi2 · 02-18-2011, 06:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

A friend of mine used to start asking what the telemarketer was wearing ... then asked the color of their underwear, etc.... The funny part was that the caller would actually answer him!

Male or female telemarketers?

Hmmmmm!!!!

Cheers

LCF · 02-18-2011, 06:59 AM

Reading this thread - I love Germany. I got about 1 call on 4 years.

astra · 02-18-2011, 07:09 AM

I usually don't pick up a phone anyway, unless I am expecting a call. If somebody really needs me they can leave a message, otherwise it is not important enough.

Stitchawl · 02-18-2011, 07:11 AM

"Gee, sorry. I don't understand Japanese."

Stitchawl

beppe · 02-18-2011, 07:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LCF

Reading this thread - I love Germany. I got about 1 call on 4 years.

I had a colleague that when he felt lonely and in need of company he used to call the number in which they used to tell you the hour of the day. He stayed there for a while, smiling, nodding with his head and from time to time he could say something in the mouth piece.

I am not telling yet how I came to be aware of this. One can imagine though.

Neither what is of him.

The Terminator · 02-18-2011, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stargazir

I must sound quite young on the phone because I have had "is your mum or dad home" more than once.

Recently I decided to play along and when asked if mummy or daddy could come to the phone I responded that they had left me home alone and I wasn't sure when they were coming back. They then asked who was looking after me and I explained that they hadn't organised anyone to look after me but would probably visit in about a week or so and that I hoped they would bring food. I then hung up. They didn't call back so I assume they worked out I was an adult

Thats pretty good exept maybe you should say a the end "haha just messin with you"

dsvick · 02-18-2011, 02:09 PM

When our son was younger (2 or 3) I'd hand the phone to him.
Once, in fit of boredom, I asked the caller in the area 30 or 40 of the stupidest questions I could think of. They were selling basement waterproofing and I asked things like what if we had a pipe burst, or the drain backed up, what if the window broke and water came in that way... he finally gave up after about 15 minutes.

Some of the best ones are from Tom Mabe Tom Mabe Google search. I love the one where a carpet cleaning service calls him and he acts like he just killed someone...

hal2814 · 02-18-2011, 02:41 PM

Back in the days of VHS tapes, Columbia House used to offer a program where they'd mail you a tape containing a few episodes each month. One time Columbia House called asking if I wanted to sign up for that program. I was about to hang up but instead I decided to ask for shows I knew they didn't have. I started with spin-offs like Rhoda, The Lou Grant Show, After MASH, The Tortellis, The Ropers, Archie Bunker's Place, etc. Then I started asking for things they probably didn't have that sounded like titles they did have: Batman (Adam West version), The Bob Newhart Show, The Bill Cosby Show, etc. Then I just went off the edge and asked for long-forgotten kids shows: Dungeons and Dragons, Voltron, Turbo Teen, Benji Zax and the Alien Prince, The Monchichis, The Getalong Gang.

After I got bored I asked the rep, "Well, what DO you have?"

She named a few titles and I told her, "I can watch that stuff on TV any time. No thanks." Then I hung up.

jbcohen · 02-18-2011, 03:33 PM

Sometimes I will start screaming at the top of my lungs in Hungarian or Polish. Now I don't speak those langeuges but translate.google.com does.

Frequently I will put on my best imitation of a little child and in the middle of their speach I will exclaim "Mommy my diaper is dirty."

Sometimes in the middle of their speach I will open my mouth and stick the reciever as far down as I can and I will say "Ahh."

I'll often go out to the livigroom where my son's toys are go get his toy chopper. I'll go back to the phone and start the chopper, after a few minutes I'll stop the chopper then exclaim into the phone "Oh look the aliens have landed."

Frequently I will exclaim into the phone "You have reached the American Institute for the Insane and Sexually Active head of the classs here."

"Johnny put the gun down, no you don't wear guns around your neck like a necklace and don't pull that trigger and no that gun is not a jet pack." The point here is to make them think your really wierd. We don't have any guns in the house.

Had one call selling phone services, I put on as innocent a voice as I possibly could and said "Phone, whats a phone? Mater of fact who am I? What's this shoe I'm talking on".

A man called while I was watching a movie selling aluminum siding for homes, I put the phone down so that the reciever was exposed went across the room and yelled "Charge" Then I yelled it in Arabic. Again translate.google.com speaks arabic I don't.

"You have reached the Washington Home for the Mentaly Insane, worst possible case scenario speaking."

Once I got really strange and quoted a passage from the Catholic bible, the Koran, the hebrew scriptures then the hindu upinshades. I continued by rotating between all four holly books quoting each in turn.

Once I looked on the internet and got a list of twenty of muslim curses then when the telemarketer called I would quietly read them quietly in the background pausing between each to call the telemarketer an infidel.

When I get telemarketers on the phone I try to be as wierd as possible you can't imagine how fast these things get rid of them.

jgaiser · 02-18-2011, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kindlekitten

DO NOT CALL LIST!!!! HUZZAH!!!!

Except for those you have a relationship with (Banks, Credit Cards, etc.). Used to have major problems with MasterCard and now it's US Bank. When I answer the phone and they mispronounce my name (invariably a long "A" instead of a long "I"), I know I'm in for a sales call and as soon as they identify themselves I say "Not interested" and hang up.

dsvick · 02-18-2011, 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jgaiser

Except for those you have a relationship with (Banks, Credit Cards, etc.). Used to have major problems with MasterCard and now it's US Bank. When I answer the phone and they mispronounce my name (invariably a long "A" instead of a long "I"), I know I'm in for a sales call and as soon as they identify themselves I say "Not interested" and hang up.

Better that than a short a

WT Sharpe · 02-18-2011, 05:46 PM

I'd posted this before, but since we're on the subject again, and the post is so old the search engine can't find it, I'll post it again.

Ever been called by a telemarketer trying to sell you a deal by disguising it as a contest you've won?

I received a call one day telling me that if I could correctly answer a contest question, I'd win the opportunity to receive some kind of fantastic deal. I forget now the nature of the "bargain" I would have won, but the conversation went like this:

"Congratulations! You've been selected to participate in our [whatever the blue blazes it was they were selling] contest. If you can answer the following question correctly, you'll win [the chance to give them my hard-earned money]. Here's your question: What Southern state starts with 'a', ends with 'a', and has an 'a' in the middle?"

Excitedly, I replied, "Arkansas!"

"Sorry, sir, that doesn't end with 'a'. Try again."

"Alaska!"

"No, sir. We're looking for a Southern state."

"Mississippi!" I replied with confidence.

It was either at this point, or perhaps one or two more wrong answers that the telemarketer gave up and said (laughing), "I'm sorry, sir, you didn't win, but thanks for playing!" and hung up.

02-18-2011, 03:33 PM	#27
jbcohen Wizard Posts: 3,033 Karma: 11196738 Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Where am I? Device: Kindle Paperwhite Signature edition and a Samsung S24 Ultra	Sometimes I will start screaming at the top of my lungs in Hungarian or Polish. Now I don't speak those langeuges but translate.google.com does. Frequently I will put on my best imitation of a little child and in the middle of their speach I will exclaim "Mommy my diaper is dirty." Sometimes in the middle of their speach I will open my mouth and stick the reciever as far down as I can and I will say "Ahh." I'll often go out to the livigroom where my son's toys are go get his toy chopper. I'll go back to the phone and start the chopper, after a few minutes I'll stop the chopper then exclaim into the phone "Oh look the aliens have landed." Frequently I will exclaim into the phone "You have reached the American Institute for the Insane and Sexually Active head of the classs here." "Johnny put the gun down, no you don't wear guns around your neck like a necklace and don't pull that trigger and no that gun is not a jet pack." The point here is to make them think your really wierd. We don't have any guns in the house. Had one call selling phone services, I put on as innocent a voice as I possibly could and said "Phone, whats a phone? Mater of fact who am I? What's this shoe I'm talking on". A man called while I was watching a movie selling aluminum siding for homes, I put the phone down so that the reciever was exposed went across the room and yelled "Charge" Then I yelled it in Arabic. Again translate.google.com speaks arabic I don't. "You have reached the Washington Home for the Mentaly Insane, worst possible case scenario speaking." Once I got really strange and quoted a passage from the Catholic bible, the Koran, the hebrew scriptures then the hindu upinshades. I continued by rotating between all four holly books quoting each in turn. Once I looked on the internet and got a list of twenty of muslim curses then when the telemarketer called I would quietly read them quietly in the background pausing between each to call the telemarketer an infidel. When I get telemarketers on the phone I try to be as wierd as possible you can't imagine how fast these things get rid of them. Last edited by jbcohen; 02-18-2011 at 04:06 PM.

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Awesome Anagram	BenG	Lounge	0	12-04-2010 11:33 AM
Awesome site	ClairePMR	Introduce Yourself	8	07-23-2010 05:21 PM
The most awesome printer EVER	Delta Tango	Lounge	6	06-09-2010 07:17 PM
Quick way to block a telemarketer	Falbe Publishing	Lounge	10	07-04-2008 08:12 PM

02-18-2011, 06:01 AM	#16
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	Even with TPS they seem to 'get through'.

02-18-2011, 06:35 AM	#18
Jude2444 Member Posts: 20 Karma: 10 Join Date: Oct 2010 Device: Sony PRS650	Loved the video.

02-18-2011, 06:59 AM	#20
LCF Wizard Posts: 1,472 Karma: 9795311 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Germany Device: Hanlin V3 (LBook), GS3	Reading this thread - I love Germany. I got about 1 call on 4 years.

02-18-2011, 07:09 AM	#21
astra The Introvert Posts: 8,307 Karma: 1000077497 Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: United Kingdom Device: Sony Reader PRS-650 & 505 & 500	I usually don't pick up a phone anyway, unless I am expecting a call. If somebody really needs me they can leave a message, otherwise it is not important enough.

02-18-2011, 07:11 AM	#22
Stitchawl Opsimath Posts: 12,344 Karma: 187123287 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand Device: Sony PRS-650, iPhone 5, Kobo Glo, Sony PRS-350, iPad, Samsung Galaxy	"Gee, sorry. I don't understand Japanese." Stitchawl

02-18-2011, 02:09 PM	#25
dsvick Wizard Posts: 2,737 Karma: 635747 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Northeast Ohio, USA Device: PRS-900	When our son was younger (2 or 3) I'd hand the phone to him. Once, in fit of boredom, I asked the caller in the area 30 or 40 of the stupidest questions I could think of. They were selling basement waterproofing and I asked things like what if we had a pipe burst, or the drain backed up, what if the window broke and water came in that way... he finally gave up after about 15 minutes. Some of the best ones are from Tom Mabe Tom Mabe Google search. I love the one where a carpet cleaning service calls him and he acts like he just killed someone...

02-18-2011, 02:41 PM	#26
hal2814 Connoisseur Posts: 65 Karma: 2460 Join Date: Oct 2010 Device: Kindle 2	Back in the days of VHS tapes, Columbia House used to offer a program where they'd mail you a tape containing a few episodes each month. One time Columbia House called asking if I wanted to sign up for that program. I was about to hang up but instead I decided to ask for shows I knew they didn't have. I started with spin-offs like Rhoda, The Lou Grant Show, After MASH, The Tortellis, The Ropers, Archie Bunker's Place, etc. Then I started asking for things they probably didn't have that sounded like titles they did have: Batman (Adam West version), The Bob Newhart Show, The Bill Cosby Show, etc. Then I just went off the edge and asked for long-forgotten kids shows: Dungeons and Dragons, Voltron, Turbo Teen, Benji Zax and the Alien Prince, The Monchichis, The Getalong Gang. After I got bored I asked the rep, "Well, what DO you have?" She named a few titles and I told her, "I can watch that stuff on TV any time. No thanks." Then I hung up.

02-18-2011, 05:46 PM	#30
WT Sharpe Bah, humbug! Posts: 39,072 Karma: 157049943 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Chesapeake, VA, USA Device: Kindle Oasis, iPad Pro, & a Samsung Galaxy S9.	I'd posted this before, but since we're on the subject again, and the post is so old the search engine can't find it, I'll post it again. Ever been called by a telemarketer trying to sell you a deal by disguising it as a contest you've won? I received a call one day telling me that if I could correctly answer a contest question, I'd win the opportunity to receive some kind of fantastic deal. I forget now the nature of the "bargain" I would have won, but the conversation went like this: "Congratulations! You've been selected to participate in our [whatever the blue blazes it was they were selling] contest. If you can answer the following question correctly, you'll win [the chance to give them my hard-earned money]. Here's your question: *What Southern state starts* with 'a', ends with 'a', and has an 'a' in the middle?*" Excitedly, I replied, "Arkansas!" "Sorry, sir, that doesn't end* with 'a'. Try again." "Alaska!" "No, sir. We're looking for a Southern state." "Mississippi!" I replied with confidence. It was either at this point, or perhaps one or two more wrong answers that the telemarketer gave up and said (laughing), "I'm sorry, sir, you didn't win, but thanks for playing!" and hung up.