Unutterably Silly Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day

[Pookeysgirl]

Originally Posted by Lycoming

My iPogue has been so successful that I've decided to go the full hog and get an iMick and an iPaddy which will all play my music on iDiddlydi.


I thought of the above while driving; I must concentrate.

I haven't been here in a couple days and I just read this one, I burst out laughing in the office. My boss is looking at me like I'm on something

[kennyc]

This one's bad....

An Amish Farmer walking through his field notices a man drinking from his pond with his hand.

The Amish man shouts: "Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen"

The man shouts back: "I don't understand. Please speak English. I am a Muslim".

The farmer says: "I said 'Use two hands, you will get more'"

[James_Wilde]

Two oldies:

When Richard Branson started his Virgin Airlines, I liked the low prices, but I was a bit wary of flying with a company whose name suggested it might not go all the way...

However, when I had overcome my worries on that point, I stumbled over the next problem. How to explain to my wife that entry on my credit card statement: Virgin Inflight $24.95.

[Lycoming]

I Forgot my glasses ...
Yesterday my daughter asked why I didn't do something useful with my time.??
She suggested I go down to the senior centre and hang out with the guys.
I did this and when I got home last night I told her that I had joined a parachute club.
She said "Are you nuts??? You're almost??70 years old and you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"
I proudly showed her that I even got a membership card.
She said to me, "You idiot, where are your glasses! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club!"
I'm in trouble again and don't know what to do!?? I signed up for five jumps a week!
Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier.

[SameOldStory]

Government joke.

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C.

The Russians used a pencil.

[encapuchado]

[Lycoming]

A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon

a young boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm.


He stopped and asked the boy, 'Where did you get that turkey?'

The boy replied, 'What turkey?'


The game warden said, 'That turkey you're carrying under your arm.'

The boy looks down and said, 'Well, lookee here, a turkey done roosted under my arm!'

The game warden said, 'Now look, you know turkey season is closed, so whatever you do to that turkey, I'm going to do to you.

If you break his leg, I'm gonna break your leg. If you break his wing, I'll break your arm. Whatever you do to him, I'll do to you. So, what are you gonna do with him?'

The little boy said, 'I guess I'll just kiss his azz and let him go!'

[Falcao]

[desertblues]

[SameOldStory]

[LCF]

A little help for the stupid, please...

[WT Sharpe]

Originally Posted by SameOldStory

Government joke.

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C.

The Russians used a pencil.

Funny, but not true. It's been posted before. NASA did develop a zero-G pen, but had the Russians used a pencil, the graphite debris floating around their craft would have posed a danger to the delicate electronic controls. Snopes, I believe, did an article about it.

[badgoodDeb]

Originally Posted by Falcao

Originally Posted by LCF

A little help for the stupid, please...

The IRS is our governmental tax collection agency. So it's a USA "insider's" joke. Sorry!

One does NOT, of course, just opt to un-subscribe from their lists!

[Stitchawl]

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

Funny, but not true. It's been posted before. NASA did develop a zero-G pen, but had the Russians used a pencil, the graphite debris floating around their craft would have posed a danger to the delicate electronic controls. Snopes, I believe, did an article about it.

Actually, it was the Fisher Pen Company that did the research and development. I have one of their pens that uses the special cartridge ink. It wasn't expensive, but it does write everywhere with a non-smearing ink. It doesn't go through the washing machine very well though, when I leave the pen in my shirt pocket. And if the cartridge happens to break while tumbling in the dryer... Well, the ink IS under pressure...


Stitchawl

[kennyc]

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

Actually, it was the Fisher Pen Company that did the research and development. I have one of their pens that uses the special cartridge ink. It wasn't expensive, but it does write everywhere with a non-smearing ink. It doesn't go through the washing machine very well though, when I leave the pen in my shirt pocket. And if the cartridge happens to break while tumbling in the dryer... Well, the ink IS under pressure...


Stitchawl

I'll have this one, please:

http://www.spacepen.com/astronautspa...aving-1-1.aspx