Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 140

Pookeysgirl · 11-18-2010, 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lycoming

A Zebra dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates.. As he enters, he asks St. Peter, 'I have a question that's haunted me all of my days on earth. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?'

St. Peter said, 'That's a question only God can answer.'

So the zebra went off in search of God.

When he found Him, the zebra asked, 'God, please - I must know Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?'

God simply replied 'You are what you are.'

The zebra returned to see St. Peter once more, who asked him, 'Well, did God straighten out your query for you?'

The zebra looked puzzled.. 'No sir, God simply said 'You are what you are.''

St. Peter smiled and said to the zebra, 'Well then, there you are. You are white with black stripes..'

The zebra asked St. Peter, 'How do you know that for certain?'

'Because,' said St. Peter, 'If you were black with white stripes, God would have said, 'You is what you is..'

WARNING: If you laugh at this, Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Rev Wright and Obama will be comin after yo white butt !

I'm not white, I'm light brown

SameOldStory · 11-18-2010, 09:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pookeysgirl

I'm not white, I'm light brown

Living in Ontario you're probably frosted brown.

Lycoming · 11-19-2010, 07:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pookeysgirl

I'm not white, I'm light brown

I'm not white either, I'm Irish.

I have just taken possession of a new phone, it's an iPogue. It has greentooth connectivity.

kennyc · 11-19-2010, 07:33 AM

Damn Irish! They're everywhere!

SneakySnake · 11-19-2010, 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lycoming

I'm not white either, I'm Irish.

I have just taken possession of a new phone, it's an iPogue. It has greentooth connectivity.

Green in the colour of my true love's teeth;
In the morning when we rise!

Lycoming · 11-20-2010, 03:32 PM

My iPogue has been so successful that I've decided to go the full hog and get an iMick and an iPaddy which will all play my music on iDiddlydi.

I thought of the above while driving; I must concentrate.

SneakySnake · 11-20-2010, 04:05 PM

I am thinking of an iShillelah

It may help you concentrate!

Javed · 11-21-2010, 06:31 AM

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?

Spoiler:

Lycoming · 11-22-2010, 11:54 AM

Just think if the Indians had given the Pilgrims a donkey instead of a turkey,we would all be having a piece of A$$ this Thanksgiving!!

A 25-year-old Jewish girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.

Shouting and crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!" Without answering, the girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Mercedes stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and wearing a yarmulke steps out of the car and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them, "Your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.

"Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath two retail furniture stores, a deli, a condo in Miami, and a $1,000,000 bank account."
"If a boy is born, my legacy will be a chain of jewelry stores and a $25,000,000 bank account."

"However, if there is a miscarriage, I'm not sure what to do. What do you suggest?"

All silent at this point, the mother, placed a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "So, you'll try again."

Lycoming · 11-22-2010, 03:56 PM

I think the safety features in his headrest may need to become nationally approved.

kennyc · 11-22-2010, 04:03 PM

Love the cow head!

pilotbob · 11-22-2010, 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kennyc

Love the cow head!

hey... this is a family web site... er... oh... nevermind.

BOb

kennyc · 11-22-2010, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pilotbob

hey... this is a family web site... er... oh... nevermind.

BOb

Lycoming · 11-23-2010, 07:40 AM

An old one to start your day.

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hemnof her nightgown and say "Supersex.." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex."
He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered,

"I'll take the soup."

SameOldStory · 11-24-2010, 04:34 PM

11-20-2010, 03:32 PM	#2091
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	My iPogue has been so successful that I've decided to go the full hog and get an iMick and an iPaddy which will all play my music on iDiddlydi. I thought of the above while driving; I must concentrate. Last edited by Lycoming; 11-20-2010 at 03:47 PM.

11-21-2010, 06:31 AM	#2093
Javed Grand Sorcerer Posts: 10,270 Karma: 1126878541 Join Date: Oct 2009 Device: Astak Pocket PRO, iPod Touch, PRS-650	What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? Spoiler: Polaroids.

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11-19-2010, 07:33 AM	#2089
kennyc The Dank Side of the Moon Posts: 35,907 Karma: 119230421 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Denver, CO Device: Kindle2; Kindle Fire	Damn Irish! They're everywhere!

11-20-2010, 04:05 PM	#2092
SneakySnake I'm watching you! Posts: 6,113 Karma: 22344652 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Sunny Coast Qld, OZ Device: Sony PRS-900(unused lately) iPadAir2, want me Kindle Oasis	I am thinking of an iShillelah It may help you concentrate!

11-22-2010, 11:54 AM	#2094
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	Just think if the Indians had given the Pilgrims a donkey instead of a turkey,we would all be having a piece of A$$ this Thanksgiving!! A 25-year-old Jewish girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting and crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!" Without answering, the girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Mercedes stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and wearing a yarmulke steps out of the car and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them, "Your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life. "Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath two retail furniture stores, a deli, a condo in Miami, and a $1,000,000 bank account." "If a boy is born, my legacy will be a chain of jewelry stores and a $25,000,000 bank account." "However, if there is a miscarriage, I'm not sure what to do. What do you suggest?" All silent at this point, the mother, placed a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "So, you'll try again."

11-22-2010, 03:56 PM	#2095
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	I think the safety features in his headrest may need to become nationally approved.

11-22-2010, 04:03 PM	#2096
kennyc The Dank Side of the Moon Posts: 35,907 Karma: 119230421 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Denver, CO Device: Kindle2; Kindle Fire	Love the cow head!

11-23-2010, 07:40 AM	#2099
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	An old one to start your day. A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hemnof her nightgown and say "Supersex.." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."

11-24-2010, 04:34 PM	#2100
SameOldStory My True Self Posts: 3,126 Karma: 66242098 Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Trantor, Galactic Center Device: Galaxy Tab 2 7.0