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Old 10-25-2010, 01:44 AM   #871
GeoffC
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Powerful words ...
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Old 10-26-2010, 04:41 PM   #872
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This one I wrote long ago: Stardust and the Desert, mentions Ozymandius.

https://www.mobileread.com/forums/sho...light=Stardust

And it was used as part of the poem and part of the idea came from it.
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Old 10-27-2010, 12:34 AM   #873
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joebill View Post
This one I wrote long ago: Stardust and the Desert, mentions Ozymandius.

https://www.mobileread.com/forums/sho...light=Stardust

And it was used as part of the poem and part of the idea came from it.
Love it, Joebill! I love the way you bounced off Shelley's.

My "humourous" ~ahem~ poem, based on it, was this...


Suburban Colossus

I met a traveller in the wilderness
who said "Four bent and tyreless rings of steel
lie in a marshland.'Tween them 'mongst the cress
collapsed, a hulking body lies, whose wheel
and shattered eyes, and weight of earthy press,
tell that its maker well this thing remarqued,
which yet remains, curved in a chrome-edged glee,
the road that left and the woods where parked.

"And at the rearward lip these words are writ
'SUBURBAN CHEVROLET LT', SUV:
"Look at my trek, oh nature, and submit!":
Nothing beside remains. 'Midst the stain
of that dissolving shell, verdant and wet,
fecundity and life rules All-Terrain."
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Old 10-27-2010, 01:44 PM   #874
WT Sharpe
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Quote:
Originally Posted by montsnmags View Post
Love it, Joebill! I love the way you bounced off Shelley's.

My "humourous" ~ahem~ poem, based on it, was this...


Suburban Colossus

I met a traveller in the wilderness
who said "Four bent and tyreless rings of steel
lie in a marshland.'Tween them 'mongst the cress
collapsed, a hulking body lies, whose wheel
and shattered eyes, and weight of earthy press,
tell that its maker well this thing remarqued,
which yet remains, curved in a chrome-edged glee,
the road that left and the woods where parked.

"And at the rearward lip these words are writ
'SUBURBAN CHEVROLET LT', SUV:
"Look at my trek, oh nature, and submit!":
Nothing beside remains. 'Midst the stain
of that dissolving shell, verdant and wet,
fecundity and life rules All-Terrain."
Great take-off on Shelley!
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Old 10-27-2010, 07:51 PM   #875
Joebill
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poem: Icey and Halloween

As I ponder the dark and dreary Halloween Night,
of long ago,
the stars sometimes sparkle through the clouds.

I can hear the wind whisper in my ear,
of frights long ago.

Bands singing off-key,
or was that Banshees screaming out there,
in the Deep Dark ?

I know not,
for I am pretending to be,
near a nice warm fireplace,
in a nice sturdy house,
in the City of No Fear !

Instead...
I am afloat,
in a spacesuit,
with no spaceship nearby,
dodging the ice and planetoids,
in the Rings of Saturn.

[ exit ]
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Old 10-27-2010, 08:07 PM   #876
kennyc
The Dank Side of the Moon
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ooooohhhh! Frightful!

well done!
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Old 10-28-2010, 06:20 AM   #877
kennyc
The Dank Side of the Moon
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This came up due to another thread, thought I should post it here as well. It's an older one:



Sunday


Jesus came to me at noon
we sat, broke bread and drank wine.

He asked to watch the football game;
rooted for the underdog, drank beer and belched.

I was not surprised,
this is the Jesus I know.


Kenny A. Chaffin – 12/19/02

Published in Mind Mutations Poetry Anthology - 2004
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Old 10-28-2010, 06:44 AM   #878
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joebill View Post
poem: Icey and Halloween

As I ponder the dark and dreary Halloween Night,
of long ago,
the stars sometimes sparkle through the clouds.

I can hear the wind whisper in my ear,
of frights long ago.

Bands singing off-key,
or was that Banshees screaming out there,
in the Deep Dark ?

I know not,
for I am pretending to be,
near a nice warm fireplace,
in a nice sturdy house,
in the City of No Fear !

Instead...
I am afloat,
in a spacesuit,
with no spaceship nearby,
dodging the ice and planetoids,
in the Rings of Saturn.

[ exit ]
Wonderful.
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Old 10-28-2010, 07:01 AM   #879
kennyc
The Dank Side of the Moon
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And now.........hot off the presses (crit welcomed):

Menace to Society

As I curse the traffic and attempt to merge
she bursts up behind me
crossing the gore zone
forcing her way into the fray.

I only catch a glimpse in my rear view mirror
a cigarette dangling from her red lips
ashes about to fall
one hand filled with Starbucks
the other clutching a mascara brush.

God knows what she’s driving with.


Kenny A. Chaffin – 10/28/2010

Last edited by kennyc; 10-28-2010 at 07:32 AM.
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Old 10-28-2010, 07:33 AM   #880
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A scene seen far too frequently. I liked the cadence - excellent imagery in those words.
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Old 10-28-2010, 08:08 AM   #881
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Thanks Geoff!

working on it, always working on it....words are tough...

Last edited by kennyc; 10-28-2010 at 09:16 PM.
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Old 10-28-2010, 07:36 PM   #882
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Thanks.

As for the words, I have lots of them. It is in the choosing, and the correct sequence, I have the difficulty.
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Old 10-29-2010, 09:39 AM   #883
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Judgment


With stone silence
around us
we wait.


Kenny A. Chaffin – 10/29/2010
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Old 10-29-2010, 09:41 AM   #884
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Seven words that convey strong emotions
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Old 10-29-2010, 09:47 AM   #885
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Thanks Geoff.. appreciate that ..very unsure about this one....

In fact....a possible re-write:


Judgment

Surrounded
by stone cold silence
we wait.


Kenny A. Chaffin – 10/29/2010

Last edited by kennyc; 10-29-2010 at 10:48 AM.
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