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Old 10-01-2010, 09:55 PM   #1771
Falcao
Banned
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From 2003

Two nuns in the bath
first nun: where's the soap ?
second nun: it does, doesn't it!
Last edited by Falcao; 10-01-2010 at 10:01 PM.
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Old 10-02-2010, 07:15 AM   #1772
kennyc
The Dank Side of the Moon
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I think there's something being lost in translation here..
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Old 10-02-2010, 07:31 AM   #1773
nohmi2
Pensively observing.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kennyc View Post
I think there's something being lost in translation here..
I thought that it was only myself who missed the point.

Good try though.

Since we are bringing back oldies but goodies, this is one that I out in last year.

UNIVERSITY APPLICATION. e-tales two.

What follows is a real application from a prospective student for a place at Southampton University.
His application was apparently successful.
____________________________

In order for the admissions staff of our University to get to know you, the applicant, better, we ask that you answer the following question:
Q: Are there any significant experiences you have had, or accomplishments you have realised, that have helped to define you as a person?
____________________________

A: I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Kenyan refugees, I write award winning operas, and manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook thirty-minute Brownies in twenty minutes.
I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handed;y defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I had trials with Manchester United, I am the subject of numerous documentaries.
When I'm bored, I build suspension bridges in my garden. I enjoy urban hang-gliding. On
Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical applieances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie.
Critics world-wide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail.
My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. I once read 'Paradise Lost', 'Moby Dick' and 'David Copperfield' in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining-room that evening.
I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery.
The laws of physics do not aply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami.
Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down.
I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in Madrid, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and chess competitions at the Kremlin.
I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

But, I have not yet gone to this University.
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Old 10-02-2010, 08:04 AM   #1774
yvanleterrible
Reborn Paper User
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kennyc View Post
I think there's something being lost in translation here..
Wears the soap...?

Nuns used to be thrifty.
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Old 10-02-2010, 08:14 AM   #1775
kennyc
The Dank Side of the Moon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yvanleterrible View Post
Wears the soap...?

Nuns used to be thrifty.
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Old 10-02-2010, 08:28 AM   #1776
WT Sharpe
Bah, humbug!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Falcao View Post
From 2003

Two nuns in the bath
first nun: where's the soap ?
second nun: it does, doesn't it!
Quote:
Originally Posted by kennyc View Post
I think there's something being lost in translation here..
Quote:
Originally Posted by nohmi2 View Post
I thought that it was only myself who missed the point. ...
Try re-spelling that word.
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Old 10-02-2010, 08:30 AM   #1777
kennyc
The Dank Side of the Moon
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Still doesn't make any sense to me Tom......
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Old 10-02-2010, 08:40 AM   #1778
WT Sharpe
Bah, humbug!
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I guess you have to have a dirty mind. The minds of clean-living upright folks like you don't naturally gravitate to what they could be doing to wear the soap out so quickly.
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Old 10-02-2010, 08:44 AM   #1779
kennyc
The Dank Side of the Moon
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I guess.......
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Old 10-02-2010, 12:45 PM   #1780
pdurrant
The Grand Mouse 高貴的老鼠
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kennyc View Post
I think there's something being lost in translation here..
It's a play on the homophones "where's" and "wears".
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Old 10-02-2010, 12:48 PM   #1781
kennyc
The Dank Side of the Moon
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Still doesn't make any sense to me........
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Old 10-02-2010, 12:49 PM   #1782
kennyc
The Dank Side of the Moon
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Which Witch Wears the Soap
Where's the Soap Wearing witch?
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Old 10-02-2010, 01:30 PM   #1783
WT Sharpe
Bah, humbug!
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But the Church never said anything about washing it too hard and fast being a sin.
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Old 10-02-2010, 01:52 PM   #1784
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Old 10-02-2010, 02:13 PM   #1785
WT Sharpe
Bah, humbug!
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Quote:
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"The sex is the same, but the dishes are piling up."
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