What do you do for a living? - Page 17

Stitchawl · 08-23-2010, 01:30 AM

The all-time greatest rant..by Dr. Bill Cosby....

"They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English.'
I can't even talk the way these people talk:
Why you ain't,?
Where you is,?
What he drive,?
Where he stay,?
Where he work,?
Who you be...?
And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk.
And then I heard the father talk.
Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth
In fact you will never get any kind of job making a decent living.
People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an Education, and now we've got these knuckleheads walking around.
The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal.
These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids.
$500 sneakers for what??
And they won't spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics.
I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit.
Where were you when he was 2
Where were you when he was 12?
Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn't know that he had a pistol?
And where is the father? Or who is his father?
People putting their clothes on backward:?
Isn't that a sign of something gone wrong?
People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn't that a sign of something???
Isn't it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of needles [piercing] going through her body?
What part of Africa did this come from?
We are not Africans. Those people are not Africans; they don't know a thing about Africa .
I say this all of the time. It would be like white people saying they are European-American. That is totally stupid.
I was born here, and so were my parents and grand parents and, very likely my great grandparents. I don't have any connection to Africa, no more than white Americans have to Germany, Scotland, England, Ireland, or the Netherlands?. The same applies to 99 percent of all the black Americans as regards to Africa .
So stop, already! ! !
With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap ......
and all of them are in jail.
We have got to take the neighborhood back.
People used to be ashamed. Today a woman has eight children with eight different 'husbands' -- or men or whatever you call them now.
We have millionaire football players who cannot read.
We have million-dollar basketball players who can't write two paragraphs.
Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us.
We have to start holding each other to a higher standard.

Dr. William Henry 'Bill' Cosby, Jr., Ed.D.

Stitchawl

rlparker · 08-23-2010, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by meromana

...Geeks rock!
...

Maria

Yes they do! Hi Maria, a belated welcome to MR from a fellow Tar Heel!

Quote:

Originally Posted by nimblem

I home school my two boys Isaac 6 (first grade) and Israel 4 (kindergarten) if that counts as a job.....

Yes that counts as a job--the most important job there is!

Quote:

Originally Posted by LazyScot

I hit keys on a keyboard. Sometimes the computer connected to the keyboard does what I want. Sometime the computer doesn't do what I want. Sometimes I speak on the phone. Othertimes I go to meetings. Occasionally I drink tea or coffee. I have no idea what my job is.

I know the feeling.

Quote:

Originally Posted by GraceKrispy

hehe, great minds think alike. ...

Two monkeys, one brain.

Quake1028 · 08-23-2010, 10:39 AM

I do inventory control and vendor returns for our distribution center. Calm down, it's a lot less glamorous than it sounds to you, I'm sure.

meromana · 08-23-2010, 11:01 AM

Quote:

And I am the one all the Teradata DBA's love to hate. I'm a statistical analyst who writes big whopper complex queries against the DB that use up all kinds of resources and make you guys crazy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by GlenBarrington

We don't hate you, However if you've ever wondered why when you came out of work to discover all four tires on your car is flat. . . I don't know anything about it.

Our DBA's aren't quite that subtle. They usually just cancel my queries and send nasty-grams to my boss. But that may only be because most of them are located half-way around the world. Perhaps they would flatten my tires if they could...

meromana · 08-23-2010, 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

The all-time greatest rant..by Dr. Bill Cosby....
<snipped>
We have to start holding each other to a higher standard.
--Dr. William Henry 'Bill' Cosby, Jr., Ed.D.

I had never seen that. Extremely well said. Thanks for sharing it!

GlenBarrington · 08-23-2010, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by meromana

Our DBA's aren't quite that subtle. They usually just cancel my queries and send nasty-grams to my boss. But that may only be because most of them are located half-way around the world. Perhaps they would flatten my tires if they could...

DBAs are an evil little cabal. The Illuminati were patterned after our secret organization. We don't NEED to be in the area, we have 'friends' everywhere.

Seriously, aren't they trying to find out WHY your queries are taking so long? Or trying to find a time when you CAN run these monsters? They could get thrown out of the Cabal for that!

meromana · 08-23-2010, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GlenBarrington

DBAs are an evil little cabal. The Illuminati were patterned after our secret organization. We don't NEED to be in the area, we have 'friends' everywhere.

Yipes! Now I'm scared!

Quote:

Originally Posted by GlenBarrington

Seriously, aren't they trying to find out WHY your queries are taking so long? Or trying to find a time when you CAN run these monsters? They could get thrown out of the Cabal for that!

Doubting that anyone but you or I cares about this, but...
I think the problem is that the company I work for is so huge that there is a rotation of DBA's who see my queries running. I will make peace with one, explaining that my query is indeed as tweaked as it can be, and I'm running after hours, etc., but then the next day, it will be a different guy, and the next day, yet another. So I just cut & paste my response from one to the next...

--Maria

SameOldStory · 08-23-2010, 12:39 PM

Have you thought of taking up a side line as a hit man? Make that a hitmiss. Lets go back to hit man, unless you object.

dsvick · 08-23-2010, 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by meromana

Yipes! Now I'm scared!

Doubting that anyone but you or I cares about this, but...
I think the problem is that the company I work for is so huge that there is a rotation of DBA's who see my queries running. I will make peace with one, explaining that my query is indeed as tweaked as it can be, and I'm running after hours, etc., but then the next day, it will be a different guy, and the next day, yet another. So I just cut & paste my response from one to the next...

--Maria

Being on both sides of the fence I can safely say that the funniest answer to your problems would be tell them that your queries wouldn't run so long if they had designed the database properly

Oh, and then .... run....

meromana · 08-23-2010, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dsvick

Being on both sides of the fence I can safely say that the funniest answer to your problems would be tell them that your queries wouldn't run so long if they had designed the database properly

Oh, and then .... run....

Don't think it hasn't crossed my mind. But now that I know they have eyes and ears all around the globe, even lurking in seemingly benign ebook forums, I'm keeping a low profile.

(Hiding behind ebook reader)

Druid_Elf · 08-23-2010, 02:20 PM

DBA's don't design the database, thats the job of the developers

In our company DBA tasks are mostly create database, disaster recovery, space management and database migrations / security
We do the design .. But I hate people who don't have a concept of well tuned query.. I'd like to hit them in the head with an oracle guide but apparently that's illegal

So as a golden rule: At least make an explain plan of your query then run if it is any good.. If not, PLEASE STEP AWAY FROM YOUR PC

GlenBarrington · 08-23-2010, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by meromana

Yipes! Now I'm scared!

Doubting that anyone but you or I cares about this, but...
I think the problem is that the company I work for is so huge that there is a rotation of DBA's who see my queries running. I will make peace with one, explaining that my query is indeed as tweaked as it can be, and I'm running after hours, etc., but then the next day, it will be a different guy, and the next day, yet another. So I just cut & paste my response from one to the next...

--Maria

You sound is if you are getting newbies sent out as sacrificial lambs on the altar of the PO'ed enduser. You might want to consider getting the big dogs involved.

Next time, ask them what the skew factor is when you run your biggies. If it's more than, say, 20, ask them when was the last time they ran statistics on the tables in your queries. (even 20 is kind of high) Or if they could create a secondary index on key tables in the query just for you. If your queries are as big a PITA as they say and you run them on a regular basis, then they should be willing to create special statistics or indexes just for these queries.

Chances are, your queries are accessing or joining on a column that has no statistics or indexes on it and forcing the parser to read every record in one or more tables and in HUGE tables, that can take some time.

Of course, they'll try to talk you out of it "If we do it for you, we have to do it for everyone". Of course the correct reply is, "only if you go blabbing to the other users"

GlenBarrington · 08-23-2010, 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Druid_Elf

DBA's don't design the database, thats the job of the developers

In our company DBA tasks are mostly create database, disaster recovery, space management and database migrations / security
We do the design .. But I hate people who don't have a concept of well tuned query.. I'd like to hit them in the head with an oracle guide but apparently that's illegal

So as a golden rule: At least make an explain plan of your query then run if it is any good.. If not, PLEASE STEP AWAY FROM YOUR PC

Assuming a query IS as well tuned as it can be, then the next logical step is to use that Explain to create new indexes and statistics. Sometimes when you have bureaucratic DBAs, you kind of have to walk them thru the process!

meromana · 08-23-2010, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GlenBarrington

Chances are, your queries are accessing or joining on a column that has no statistics or indexes on it and forcing the parser to read every record in one or more tables and in HUGE tables, that can take some time.

Yes, this is exactly the problem. I am grouping on columns that are not indexed (the tables/views I query are all part of a database that's "in development"), but I have to use those columns, which is what I keep telling them. I didn't realize there was anything the DBA's might be able to do to help. I thought it was all up to the developers to do that stuff.

Well, thanks, maybe I will go ahead and ask for their help next time, instead of just being annoyed at them! Geez, you are threatening to change my whole perspective on DBA's.

And yes, we have thoroughly and completely derailed this very nice thread...

Maria

bjones6416 · 08-23-2010, 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by meromana

And yes, we have thoroughly and completely derailed this very nice thread...

Maria

No, no, not at all! In fact, I read every word: technical stuff, computer speak, buzz buzz, whattheheck?, byte bit bite hack heck buzz buzz technical stuff again, hmmm i-know-what-that-means nope-never-mind-i-don't, buzz buzz technical stuff again, computer-hey-i-have-one-of-those, pteradactyl terrapin terrarium terror, work job buzz buzz...

And of course, I'm just kidding.

Karma your way...

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08-23-2010, 01:30 AM	#241
Stitchawl Opsimath Posts: 12,344 Karma: 187123287 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand Device: Sony PRS-650, iPhone 5, Kobo Glo, Sony PRS-350, iPad, Samsung Galaxy	The all-time greatest rant..by Dr. Bill Cosby.... "They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English.' I can't even talk the way these people talk: Why you ain't,? Where you is,? What he drive,? Where he stay,? Where he work,? Who you be...? And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk. And then I heard the father talk. Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth In fact you will never get any kind of job making a decent living. People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an Education, and now we've got these knuckleheads walking around. The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal. These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids. $500 sneakers for what?? And they won't spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics. I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit. Where were you when he was 2 Where were you when he was 12? Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn't know that he had a pistol? And where is the father? Or who is his father? People putting their clothes on backward:? Isn't that a sign of something gone wrong? People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn't that a sign of something??? Isn't it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of needles [piercing] going through her body? What part of Africa did this come from? We are not Africans. Those people are not Africans; they don't know a thing about Africa . I say this all of the time. It would be like white people saying they are European-American. That is totally stupid. I was born here, and so were my parents and grand parents and, very likely my great grandparents. I don't have any connection to Africa, no more than white Americans have to Germany, Scotland, England, Ireland, or the Netherlands?. The same applies to 99 percent of all the black Americans as regards to Africa . So stop, already! ! ! With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap ...... and all of them are in jail. We have got to take the neighborhood back. People used to be ashamed. Today a woman has eight children with eight different 'husbands' -- or men or whatever you call them now. We have millionaire football players who cannot read. We have million-dollar basketball players who can't write two paragraphs. Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us. We have to start holding each other to a higher standard. Dr. William Henry 'Bill' Cosby, Jr., Ed.D. Stitchawl

08-23-2010, 10:39 AM	#243
Quake1028 Guru Posts: 917 Karma: 9155462 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Tampa, FL Device: See signature	I do inventory control and vendor returns for our distribution center. Calm down, it's a lot less glamorous than it sounds to you, I'm sure.

08-23-2010, 12:39 PM	#248
SameOldStory My True Self Posts: 3,126 Karma: 66242098 Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Trantor, Galactic Center Device: Galaxy Tab 2 7.0	Have you thought of taking up a side line as a hit man? Make that a hitmiss. Lets go back to hit man, unless you object.

08-23-2010, 02:20 PM	#251
Druid_Elf Zealot Posts: 109 Karma: 612 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: belgium Device: none	DBA's don't design the database, thats the job of the developers In our company DBA tasks are mostly create database, disaster recovery, space management and database migrations / security We do the design .. But I hate people who don't have a concept of well tuned query.. I'd like to hit them in the head with an oracle guide but apparently that's illegal So as a golden rule: At least make an explain plan of your query then run if it is any good.. If not, PLEASE STEP AWAY FROM YOUR PC