Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 95

Lycoming · 07-14-2010, 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

I don't know where you live but here all those carts would have disappeared or lost their wheels...

Two years ago three yoblets wheeled a trolley away from the supermarket, then launched it into a stream. I yelled after them and received the finger. The dull idiots forgot that wheels with a 2 litre diesel cover ground faster than the ancient geriatric who received the finger. He was waiting at the school gate with their form master as they returned, still giggling, to school from their fun break. Their whole day was spoiled for them by my lecture, then insistence on them returning to extract the trolley and return it, acquiring wet feet in the process.

Don't get mad, get even.

LCF · 07-14-2010, 12:34 PM

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Richard , the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, to come over. Richard clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called after him, “So, what was wrong?”

“It was an ID ten T error,” he replied.

I didn’t want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, “An, ID ten T error? What’s that … uh … in case I need to fix it again?”

Richard grinned … “Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?”

“No,” I replied.

“Write it down,” he said, “and I think you’ll figure it out.”

If you are wondering what the hell was funny in this joke, click below.

Spoiler:
ID10T Error

If you are not wondering, click this one:

Spoiler:

LCF · 07-14-2010, 12:36 PM

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question.

"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?"

"None." replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away."

"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher. "But I like the way you are thinking."

Little Johnny said, "I have a question for you now. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one licking her cone, the second biting her cone, and the third one sucking her cone, which one is married?"

"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone?"

"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger. But I like the way you are thinking."

yvanleterrible · 07-14-2010, 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LCF

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question.

"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?"

"None." replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away."

"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher. "But I like the way you are thinking."

Little Johnny said, "I have a question for you now. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one licking her cone, the second biting her cone, and the third one sucking her cone, which one is married?"

"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone?"

"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger. But I like the way you are thinking."

yvanleterrible · 07-14-2010, 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kennyc

What would/do people do with shopping cart wheels?

Some kids use them to build buggies and some people resell them at rummage sales.

pilotbob · 07-14-2010, 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LCF

If you are not wondering, click this one:

Spoiler:

I wonder if that is an offer... considering I could certainly read the T-message.

BOb

LCF · 07-14-2010, 03:11 PM

The same topic is discussed on the place where the pic resides. Unfortunately, no one knows this pretty lady...

Vintage Season · 07-14-2010, 09:42 PM

This has always been a favorite pairing:

Q: Why do ducks have webbed feet?
A: For stamping out forest fires.

Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: For stamping out burning ducks...

- M.

Vintage Season · 07-14-2010, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LCF

“It was an ID ten T error,” he replied.

We used to call those "PEBKAC" errors.

- M.

kennyc · 07-14-2010, 09:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vintage Season

This has always been a favorite pairing:

Q: Why do ducks have webbed feet?
A: For stamping out forest fires.

Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: For stamping out burning ducks...

- M.

kennyc · 07-14-2010, 09:58 PM

Are we doing elephant jokes now?

How do you know if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

You can smell the peanut butter on his breath.

yvanleterrible · 07-14-2010, 10:00 PM

How does an elephant come down from a tree?
It sits on a leaf and waits for fall.

Why do beavers have flat tails?
Because they strolled in the forest during fall.

pilotbob · 07-15-2010, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vintage Season

We used to call those "PEBKAC" errors.

- M.

ID 10 T
PEBKAC
PICNIC

errors abound at my job. Yes, I am a developer. Sometimes those errors apply to the developer too... and not just the end user.

BOb

Over · 07-15-2010, 11:40 AM

LCF · 07-15-2010, 11:42 AM

PEBKAC and PICNIC are new for me.

I also like the joke: Bil Gates travels on a transcontinental cruise, when a big wave hits the ship and throws him over board. Staying calm in the cold waters, sure of his rescue Mr. Gates starts shouting:
"F1! F1! F1!"

07-14-2010, 12:34 PM	#1412
LCF Wizard Posts: 1,472 Karma: 9795311 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Germany Device: Hanlin V3 (LBook), GS3	ID ten T Error I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Richard , the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, to come over. Richard clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called after him, “So, what was wrong?” “It was an ID ten T error,” he replied. I didn’t want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, “An, ID ten T error? What’s that … uh … in case I need to fix it again?” Richard grinned … “Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?” “No,” I replied. “Write it down,” he said, “and I think you’ll figure it out.” If you are wondering what the hell was funny in this joke, click below. Spoiler: ID10T Error If you are not wondering, click this one: Spoiler: Last edited by LCF; 07-14-2010 at 12:39 PM.

07-14-2010, 12:36 PM	#1413
LCF Wizard Posts: 1,472 Karma: 9795311 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Germany Device: Hanlin V3 (LBook), GS3	And a really old one, probably even posted here Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question. "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None." replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher. "But I like the way you are thinking." Little Johnny said, "I have a question for you now. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one licking her cone, the second biting her cone, and the third one sucking her cone, which one is married?" "Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone?" "No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger. But I like the way you are thinking."

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07-14-2010, 03:11 PM	#1417
LCF Wizard Posts: 1,472 Karma: 9795311 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Germany Device: Hanlin V3 (LBook), GS3	The same topic is discussed on the place where the pic resides. Unfortunately, no one knows this pretty lady...

07-14-2010, 09:42 PM	#1418
Vintage Season Pulps and dime novels... Posts: 343 Karma: 1952003 Join Date: Jan 2009 Device: Kobo Aura/Kobo Aura One LE/iPad Air	This has always been a favorite pairing: Q: Why do ducks have webbed feet? A: For stamping out forest fires. Q: Why do elephants have flat feet? A: For stamping out burning ducks... - M.

07-14-2010, 09:58 PM	#1421
kennyc The Dank Side of the Moon Posts: 35,918 Karma: 119747553 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Denver, CO Device: Kindle2; Kindle Fire	Are we doing elephant jokes now? How do you know if an elephant has been in your refrigerator? You can smell the peanut butter on his breath.

07-14-2010, 10:00 PM	#1422
yvanleterrible Reborn Paper User Posts: 8,616 Karma: 15446734 Join Date: May 2006 Location: Que Nada Device: iPhone8, iPad Air	How does an elephant come down from a tree? It sits on a leaf and waits for fall. Why do beavers have flat tails? Because they strolled in the forest during fall.

07-15-2010, 11:40 AM	#1424
Over Wizard Posts: 1,462 Karma: 6061516 Join Date: May 2008 Location: Cascais, Portugal Device: Kindle PW, Samsung Galaxy Note Pro 12.2", OnePlus 6

07-15-2010, 11:42 AM	#1425
LCF Wizard Posts: 1,472 Karma: 9795311 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Germany Device: Hanlin V3 (LBook), GS3	PEBKAC and PICNIC are new for me. I also like the joke: Bil Gates travels on a transcontinental cruise, when a big wave hits the ship and throws him over board. Staying calm in the cold waters, sure of his rescue Mr. Gates starts shouting: "F1! F1! F1!"