The Vent and Rant Thread

[happy_terd]

wife wont let me.

[recluse]

You know what really pisses me off?
Getting up in the middle of the night to take a leak.
It's a farking farce.
I can find the bathroom in the dark, no problem.
It's hitting the damn bowl that's a pain.
And turning on the light just makes it worse.
Now I'm blinded, completely awake and about to have wet feet!
(I imagine it's worse for the ladies, who get to dunk their junk in the icy water, courtesy of their male counterparts!)
How come no one has come up with a lighted toilet?
There are lighted pools, stands to reason there should be lighted toilets.
Stumble into the bathroom and aim for the soft glow. Right?
Maybe have the toilet seat glow a nice contrasting color so the ladies can avoid a midnight dip.
Is that too farking much to ask?

[nomesque]

[montsnmags]

30 minutes, nomesque. Disturbingly quick response.

[recluse]

Nomesque, you never cease to amaze me!

Genius!

Hi, Marc!

[TGS]

Originally Posted by recluse

You know what really pisses me off?
Getting up in the middle of the night to take a leak.
It's a farking farce.
I can find the bathroom in the dark, no problem.
It's hitting the damn bowl that's a pain.
And turning on the light just makes it worse.
Now I'm blinded, completely awake and about to have wet feet!
(I imagine it's worse for the ladies, who get to dunk their junk in the icy water, courtesy of their male counterparts!)
How come no one has come up with a lighted toilet?
There are lighted pools, stands to reason there should be lighted toilets.
Stumble into the bathroom and aim for the soft glow. Right?
Maybe have the toilet seat glow a nice contrasting color so the ladies can avoid a midnight dip.
Is that too farking much to ask?

Well, you could sit down. In this way it's then entirely possible to visit the bathroom and keep your eyes closed the entire time, which has, amongst many other advantages, that you might be able to convince yourself that you haven't actually woken up.

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by recluse

Nomesque, you never cease to amaze me!

Genius!

Hi, Marc!

G'day.

[recluse]

G'day?

That is nowhere near the splendiferous verbiage that is your trademark.
Trouble in the Land DownUnder?
Unhappy with your new iPad wiffy?
Tell me your secrets, little brother, and I will tell you no lies.

Jon

[montsnmags]

No, no, just the presence of Mother (and impending presence of brothers and sister and associated, tomorrow night and over the weekend). Brevity is a mark of torturing social niceties (likely in both places, sorry ).

Gotta go. I'm getting a stern look from TL1 for leaving him with the aforesaid out-law (my mother, his out-law).

[recluse]

No worries, Marc.
Good luck and all that.

And give TL1 a dirty look back from me.

He isn't as scary as Adrian, is he?

Well, regardless, you give him a dirty look from me, anyway!
I won't tolerate it.

Jon

[ShortNCuddlyAm]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

No, no, just the presence of Mother (and impending presence of brothers and sister and associated, tomorrow night and over the weekend). Brevity is a mark of torturing social niceties (likely in both places, sorry ).

Gotta go. I'm getting a stern look from TL1 for leaving him with the aforesaid out-law (my mother, his out-law).

Can't you find some crocodiles or other hungry wildlife to feed them to? (the relatives, not TL1)

[recluse]

Am, that's terrible!
That's hardly cuddly!

That wildlife is protected!
You just can't treat them like that!

You are a mean little thing!

I kinda like it.
Wanna go for a drink?
Wink, wink,
Nudge, nudge?

[kennyc]

Originally Posted by TGS

Well, you could sit down. In this way it's then entirely possible to visit the bathroom and keep your eyes closed the entire time, which has, amongst many other advantages, that you might be able to convince yourself that you haven't actually woken up.

or use a catheter.....

[ShortNCuddlyAm]

I confess, I forgot about the effect it would have on the wildlife

Drinks sound good - but if you keep nudging me like that I might spill it...

[beppe]

Originally Posted by TGS

Well, you could sit down. In this way it's then entirely possible to visit the bathroom and keep your eyes closed the entire time, which has, amongst many other advantages, that you might be able to convince yourself that you haven't actually woken up.

Good advice, with a risk. Depending on individual anatomy , the flow might hit directly the slot between the seat and the bowl, right on the floor if he sleeps in his skin, or on his undergarments. Happened with my father in law when he came to visit us in Paris. We did not say nothing for the few days of his visit: he is such a nice guy, and just mopped first thing every morning.

What's the problem with the light, he has such a nice green glow!