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#376 |
DSil
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Alice walked up to the floor length mirror, touched a hidden switch that opened it like a door, and walked through.
"Come into my office -- I think we have things to discuss," she said moving to her desk. |
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#377 |
Wizard
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I stepped tentatively through the mirror, and entered a completely different world. Everything was upside down here - Alice herself, sitting at her austere mahogany desk, seemed suspended from the ceiling, her long reddish hair tickling my face as I looked up at her.
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#378 |
DSil
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"You have a copy of some photos taken for a disreputable woman of my acquaintance. Now either you were hired by one of two people, or you are a photographer with a death wish -- which is it?" she asked from the ceiling, stroking her pet chinchilla.
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#379 |
Bah! Humbug!
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I ducked as she dropped the chinchilla, and it flew by my ear with a mournful whistling noise, and asked "What was the question again?" Then I noticed a vengeful chinchilla crawling up my pant leg!
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#380 |
DSil
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"I'll take that as a refusal to answer the question," she concluded and lifted up a trapdoor in the ceiling.
"Rick, pass me up the interrogation cushions," she shouted up through the trapdoor. |
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#381 |
Chocolate Grasshopper ...
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Thud, thud.... two extremely heavy lumps fell ... Followed by a floating feather that took all of 25 minutes to reach the same level as the cushions....
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#382 |
DSil
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Meanwhile the chincilla had continued up my trouser leg and reached an area of my anatomy that I'd much rather was rodent free.
"I'm feeling generous and I'll give you one last chance to answer the question before the cushion operatives arrive, and my little friend starts gnawing." |
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#383 |
Wizard
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I sneaked a look at the fluffy cushions while twisting my body in a vain effort to shake off the chinchilla. How bad could such a torture be, I wondered - in an upside down world like this one, maybe torturing actually meant pampering...
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#384 |
DSil
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At that point three weasles bearing tools of torture entered, all with a look of menace on their faces that, in the annals of human experience, was only outstripped by that of Mrs Harbrigger (the fourth year mathematics teacher) when filling in for Mr Bonlit (the fourth year english teacher). I swallowed so loudly that some thought the big one had arrived in Los Angeles.
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#385 |
Chocolate Grasshopper ...
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And then I fainted. The dream I had was vivid ...... at least I hoped it was a dream.
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#386 |
Bah! Humbug!
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I cautiously cracked open one eyelid ... and found myself staring into the eyes of a bored weasel holding vice grip pliers. Then I felt the chinchilla sneeze!
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#387 |
FUBAR!
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If you've never had chinchilla snot on your family jewels, you are one lucky SOB! While disgusting to think about, the reality is like nothing you could imagine.
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#388 |
Chocolate Grasshopper ...
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I pinched myself, nothing happened, I pinched myself - really hard.
Suddenly it was bright, the bar was crowded with people, and I was sat at the table with a beautiful blonde psockpuppet and an ape, we each had a glass of green liquid in front of us. |
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#389 |
DSil
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Join Date: Sep 2007
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I grabbed one of the glasses full of green liquid and downed it in one to steady my nerves, and promptly passed out.
"I think a little less of the pliers next time, Larry, we want him conscious," I heard Alice say from above as I came round as my eyes opened on one of the weasles. |
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#390 |
Chocolate Grasshopper ...
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I decided I'd better open my eyes, slowly, even if only to discover which version of the story I was likely to wake up in this time.
Yep - this one ..... |
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