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Old 10-14-2008, 02:11 AM   #586
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Granted. You spill the beans (and the rest of the chili but no one observes the 5 second rule and eats it directly from the floor resulting in a mass sickness that cancels the rest of the week and the awards presentation thus depriving you of the medal for "Best eBook of the Year"

I wish that the squirrels would stay out of my yard.
Granted, they stay out of your yard and move into your house instead.

I wish I was adopted by Jay Walker.
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Old 10-14-2008, 05:05 AM   #587
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I wish I was adopted by Jay Walker.
Granted. You are adoped by a jay walker. Unfortunately, almost immediately, your owner practices jay walking. Fortunately, you are not harmed. Unfortunately, this is seen by the local chapter of the animal protection league who immediately take you away for your own safetly, and place you with a nice safe teetotal family with three your childern.

Do you know what it is like to have your ears and tail perpetually pulled by three "adorable" kids?

Slite does.

I wish someone would recast the original 1967 Casino Royale with members of the Lounge...

P.S. If you've not seen it, it is a real 1960's hoot....
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Old 10-14-2008, 06:44 AM   #588
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Granted - but Skwerl is Bond, you get to dress in drag and play Vespa, Queen of the Pinwheel is Q, DixieGal is M, Slite is Felix and the car is a Corvair.

I wish for Cherries Jubilee.
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Old 10-14-2008, 09:23 AM   #589
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Granted - but Skwerl is Bond...
Which one? 'Cause I want dibs on one of the others! Like the one who's trained not to respond to pretty girls.

Wait... maybe not that one...
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Old 10-14-2008, 09:29 AM   #590
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I wish for Cherries Jubilee.
Granted: Madge Thompson, aka "Cherries Jubilee" when working at the Lanky Longshoreman bar, has just appeared in front of you, and swiftly slaps your face when she realizes you have pulled her off-stage just before the climax (so to speak) of her strip-tease--excuse me, exotic dance--while neglecting to wish for her robe to accompany her.

I wish I had Cherries Jubilee's garter belt. It smells so sweet!
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Old 10-14-2008, 09:36 AM   #591
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Granted - but Skwerl is Bond, you get to dress in drag and play Vespa, Queen of the Pinwheel is Q, DixieGal is M, Slite is Felix and the car is a Corvair.

I wish for Cherries Jubilee.
Granted. It's a birthday party for 50 yr old stripper, Cherries Jubilee.

Yippee! I get to be the funnest character! Spy cameras for everybody!

I wish for a helicopter umbrella to whisk me over traffic and safely to work.
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Old 10-14-2008, 09:42 AM   #592
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Granted. It's a birthday party for 50 yr old stripper, Cherries Jubilee.

Yippee! I get to be the funnest character! Spy cameras for everybody!

I wish for a helicopter umbrella to whisk me over traffic and safely to work.
Hey! My wife is 50, young lady!
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Old 10-14-2008, 09:46 AM   #593
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Hey! My wife is 50, young lady!
I'm sure she is lovely, and not some jaded, worn out, daytime stripper celebrating her own personal jubilee year.
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Old 10-14-2008, 10:15 AM   #594
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Hey! My wife is 50, young lady!
I've seen some 50-year-olds that could strip for me anytime! (Not directed at Mrs. Pshrynk, of course... I've never even met the lady, and I wouldn't presume!)

Besides, it's not what you've got... it's how you use it...

Oh, yeah:

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Originally Posted by DixieGal View Post
I wish for a helicopter umbrella to whisk me over traffic and safely to work.
Granted. But look out... Oh, no! It's been stolen by Mary Poppins. (Or was that Inspector Gadget in drag?!?)

I still wish for a VentureOne.
Last edited by Steven Lyle Jordan; 10-14-2008 at 10:18 AM.
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Old 10-14-2008, 11:33 AM   #595
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Yippee! I get to be the funnest character! Spy cameras for everybody!
Sadly, in the original Casino Royale, M (played by John Huston) meets and untimely end very early on, and all that is left is an hair-loom which David Niven takes back to the McTarry ancestral home where Agent Mimi (played by Deborah Kerr, who probably should be played by Zelda) tries to dispose of Mr Bond (Niven), but instead falls in love with him (and back into speaking French) because he "wassles" so well (which he had to do as he refused to doodle her).

Or something like that.

I'd contact your agent and see if you could get the roles of Moneypenny or Mata Bond instead.

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I still wish for a VentureOne.
Granted. You can still wish for a Venture One..... the words "vain" and "in" should probably be found somewhere nearby. Are you sure you wouldn't like a nice Vespa?

I wish that Vesper's dress didn't chafe so much, and I knew who was playing Peter Seller's role (Evelyn Tremble). It makes it so difficult to concentrate on one's lines....
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Old 10-14-2008, 11:45 AM   #596
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granted - but you are now wearing a microminiskirt and need to shave certain parts of your anatomyand have them strapped down tight. RuPaul is in Peter Sellers role.

I wish for everyone to have peace and happyness.
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Old 10-14-2008, 11:53 AM   #597
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granted - but you are now wearing a microminiskirt and need to shave certain parts of your anatomyand have them strapped down tight. RuPaul is in Peter Sellers role.

I wish for everyone to have peace and happyness.

Granted. A guy named Everyone Goodfellow says to tell you "Thanks!"

I wish I had actually seen Casino Royale now.
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Old 10-14-2008, 11:55 AM   #598
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I wish for everyone to have peace and happyness.
BAM! Everyone's peaceful and happy. (Our genie tonight will be played by Emeril Lagasse.)

BAM! It's over.

Next time, throw a time period in there, sport.

I wish I owned and regularly drove the first well-running VentureOne off the assembly line.
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Old 10-14-2008, 12:02 PM   #599
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I wish I had actually seen Casino Royale now.
Granted. You really wish you hadn't now!

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I wish I owned and regularly drove the first well-running VentureOne off the assembly line.
Granted. You own a well running VentureOne, which you regularly drive off the assembly line. In a fairly short period of time this stops it being well running, plus you are now subject to a court order that forbids you going within two miles of the assembly plant.

I wish I hadn't been reminded about the original Casino Royale
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Old 10-14-2008, 12:16 PM   #600
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Granted. You own a well running VentureOne, which you regularly drive off the assembly line. In a fairly short period of time this stops it being well running, plus you are now subject to a court order that forbids you going within two miles of the assembly plant.


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I wish I hadn't been reminded about the original Casino Royale
Aww... I loved that movie! I have Herb Alpert's CR theme on my MP3 player!
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