MobileRead Forums - View Single Post - The FIRST PARAGRAPH from your novel or short story

jaxx6166 · 03-03-2009, 10:45 PM

@hogleg -

I broke MR and can't quote your quote for some reason....but I am in love with PA stories. I want more, it's like a drug.

My only suggestion for it would be some tightening and tweaks here and there. The prose is a bit purple and tell-y (that's a word now. Yes. I made it up.)

I would suggest an almost ZOOM IN type style of everything. Personally, I try to make every word count and only use as much description as neccessary to get the point across or the image in the head. I like to keep things a bit briefer and let the reader draw their own picture.

03-03-2009, 10:45 PM	#19
jaxx6166 Wizard Posts: 1,222 Karma: 769316 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Eternal summer Device: 350, iPad, PW	@hogleg - I broke MR and can't quote your quote for some reason....but I am in love with PA stories. I want more, it's like a drug. My only suggestion for it would be some tightening and tweaks here and there. The prose is a bit purple and tell-y (that's a word now. Yes. I made it up.) I would suggest an almost ZOOM IN type style of everything. Personally, I try to make every word count and only use as much description as neccessary to get the point across or the image in the head. I like to keep things a bit briefer and let the reader draw their own picture.