[Hitch]

Originally Posted by Rumpelteazer

She always did that on Saturday/Sunday. However, I can sleep longer since I'm not woken up by slamming door, alarms going off when she's in the shower and hair dryers.

I'd have killed her. I really, really hate having my sleep disturbed by inconsiderate behavior.

Before he was the guardian my grandmother had dementia to a degree that she wasn't able to make those types of decisions. He blames the funeral insurance on my father. It was a mistake and he was so distracted by my father's behavior (the court cases) that he hadn't noticed. Yeah, right.

snort.

It's funny how we found out about he sex sites. We noticed on the bank papers we did get that my uncle often paid €50 for something. He did that every day for a week and then for a while no payments and then again a bunch of €50 payments. We asked what that was, he didn't want to say, only said that that was part of his compensation for his guardianship. We jokingly guessed he used it to pay for sex websites, but it turned out to be even worse. We googled the payment platform he used and it's exclusively used for sex dating sites. We're pretty certain he wanted to hide it from his partner. A compensation is allowed, but you do that monthly, every three or six months or once a year. Not in €50 increments over a week.

Arguably, he'd have been entitled to some compensation, and equally arguably, he could use it as he saw fit--but NOT once it was clearly established that he wasn't acting in the best interests of the decedent, and was stealing from the estate. That argument is utterly worthless.

As a side note: my mother checked my uncle's (very) public Facebook profile earlier this week and he has liked various ladies offering their services. How stupid can you get?!

He's not too smart, is he?

I'm not sure what the legal requirements are in the Netherlands for a legally recognized will. And, yes, my sister and I can get on well. However, you never know what influence any future partners or events can have on that relationship. Better get it sorted out with a crystal clear will.

I have no idea, I admit. I mean, for the Netherlands, but presumably, some sort of LegalZoom equivalent must exist, especially in a country with the sort of mindset that prevails in the ND. (You know, taking care of its citizenry, birth-to-death and all that.)

The thing is, even CLOSE family members can fall out...over money. And sometimes, a trinket, or keepsake, or memento. It's shocking, but it's commonplace. When my own brother accused me of stealing money from the estate, I shrugged that off--that was pure anthropomorphizing. He'd obtained money, well into 6 digits, through pretense, from my mother, the last year of her life. So that didn't faze me. But then, my sister called, and he'd somehow convinced her that I'd sold Mother's house, and pocketed about $80K usd.

Suffice to say, I wasn't happy about that at ALL, given that I never even paid myself any fees. Not as trustee for the family trusts, not as executrix--I never even reimbursed myself for travel expenses, which were massive. THAT about did me in. Of course, I easily proved that I hadn't...but it upset me, anyway, and given other major stresses about the estate (I was administering trusts, over people who did NOT WANT the money administered...), it was the last thing I needed. And as you can see...to this day, I remember it, and not fondly.

My sister and I have been close for decades. It was a shocking thing, but as I said--the stress of losing a loved one, PLUS the inevitable quibbles about jewelry, heirlooms or even worthless trinkets, never mind the money...get clear and unambiguous wills. it will save you untold amounts of heartbreak.

(Also, if you die intestate, in this country, anyway, your closest relatives can be SUED, a sprospective heirs of your estate, if you leave a house with a mortgage on it and not enough money to make the payments or pay off the mortgage, etc. So...wills!)

Here endeth the lecture. :-)

Hitch