Quote:
Originally Posted by Gregg Bell
Yeah, it does, Cin. "her inability to tolerate ridicule" is an appositive phrase that refers to "Her vulnerability."
#1) Her vulnerability, her inability to tolerate ridicule, had led her to kill another human being.
The problem is I like to write sentences (and indeed this is how I wrote it) like #2.
#2) Her vulnerability, her inability to tolerate ridicule had led her to kill another human being.
Yes, the sentence can be re-written, but does sentence #2 fly, especially meaning-wise? (Of course you've already said it doesn't. But reconsider, will ya?  ) See, I just hate throwing that second comma after "had." It just breaks the sentence like a sledgehammer.
I know I write weird. This is not news to me. I just want to see if other people can comprehend my meaning. |
Hmmm why is her inability to tolerate ridicule a vulnerability?
That is my big problem. To me that is not vulnerable in any sense of the word. What is she vulnerable too?
Other than maybe thinking she can take on someone twice her size.