Quote:
Originally Posted by Cinisajoy
Gregg,
The sentence does not make sense.
Are her vulnerability and inability the same thing?
Maybe you should change the sentence a bit. Vulnerability and inability sound redundant.
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Yeah, it does, Cin. "her inability to tolerate ridicule" is an appositive phrase that refers to "Her vulnerability."
#1) Her vulnerability, her inability to tolerate ridicule, had led her to kill another human being.
The problem is I like to write sentences (and indeed this is how I wrote it) like #2.
#2) Her vulnerability, her inability to tolerate ridicule had led her to kill another human being.
Yes, the sentence can be re-written, but does sentence #2 fly, especially meaning-wise? (Of course you've already said it doesn't. But reconsider, will ya?
) See, I just hate throwing that second comma after "had." It just breaks the sentence like a sledgehammer.
I know I write weird. This is not news to me. I just want to see if other people can comprehend my meaning.