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@Hitch
You should have a fictional intern to handle such cases with following response:
Dear Sir,
unfortunately I have to inform you that further responses from our companys owner regarding regarding your book will be delayed until further notice due to the fact that she had a work-related accident.
Whilst you may wonder how in the business of ebook making such accident is even remotely possible, allow me to explain that she choked on her coffee, dropped her mug and stumbled because of the resulting puddle of spilled coffee. As all of this happened while she read your last mail it is clearly a work-related accident.
As covering the costs for the resulting leg fracture and psychological counsel is still to be taken care of, you will receive a separate email with detailed billing from our accounting department.
With best regards,
Chandler Pebka
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