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Originally Posted by nekokami
Generally on those occasions when I've known my kids were reading something I thought might have "mature content," I've talked with them briefly about how some of what they read might make them feel uncomfortable, and if so, to talk with me or someone else about it. I don't worry much about sex itself (both my kids know quite well where babies come from), but violence, particularly emotional violence, e.g. manipulation. As I've commented to my kids, there are a lot of different ideas out there about sex, and I'd feel better if they get used to what are (ok, in my opinion, anyway) healthy kinds of sexual behavior first. I suppose this is just another kind of prudishness, but hey, it's part of being a parent-- you have to try to figure out what's best for your kids to help them be able to grow up and take care of themselves as adults.  |
Applause.
I don't have kids, but my general feel is that attempts to censor what your kids see and things like "parental controls" are self-defeating. Sure, you can control what the kids have access to at home, but unless you "raise them in a barrel and feed them through the bung-hole", that is of limited utility. What do you do when Junior is visiting a friend who doesn't have such controls applied in his house?
I would want any kids I had to be comfortable coming to me about anything, including questionable on-line content.
Ultimately, kids don't do what you say: they imitate what they see you
do, and your biggest job as a parent is simply setting an example in your own behavior of the way to deal with the world and with other people in it.
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My younger daughter generally asks my advice before buying manga, for example. I had to define "yaoi" for her once-- she decided on her own not to buy that one. (Mostly because she doesn't much like romance of any sort.)
My older daughter is in a rebellious stage, which is too bad, because I do see her getting upset about some stuff she watches or reads, because it makes her uncomfortable. But after a certain point, kids get beyond being willing to ask for or take advice, and she's 17. 
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With luck, she's already absorbed the important lessons.
A former co-worker lives in the rural midwest. She was a single mom raising a 5 year old son, and involved in a developing relationship with a man. She once expressed concern, because she feared her kid might turn into a neo-Nazi when he got older. (The Aryan Nation was apparently a local force.) The only advice I could give was to move away from the town she lived in as soon as possible. At that point, he was five years old, and Mom was the most important thing in his life. When he got older, the opinions of his friends would attain far more importance. She needed to be somewhere where he could associate with a better class of people before things reached that point.
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Dennis