Quote:
Originally Posted by stickybuns
"The tea party came to a porcelain shattering halt as Nathaniel came stumbling into the room, his white polo shirt rapidly growing crimson. 'I've been shot!' he cried out as he collapsed upon the chaise lounge. The ladies of the Davenport Street Book and Tea Lovers Club cringed: blood stains can be such a bother."
|
ACTUALLY what bothers me would force this change.
"The tea party came to a porcelain shattering halt as Nathaniel
stumbled into the room, his white polo shirt rapidly growing crimson. 'I've been shot,' he cried as he collapsed upon the chaise lounge...."
I'd have no problem with him saying "I've been shot," but the came stumbling doesn't work for me as well as plain stumbled.