Quote:
Originally Posted by maianhvk
And this idea about 'the other half'. Suppose I would love him so much that I would want to marry him, I'm still troubled. Based on many unhappy endings that I know, people love, get married, the so-called love ends. How can I know that I can love that other half despite all the obstacles, that our love stays trong for years and I'm not tired of looking at the same face for such a long time? I don't want to play 'try and fail', I don't want to get divorced. And many of you said 'it would come' - yeah, suppose it would, but how can I know it is the genuine one, not 'made in China'? What if I fall for Mr. Wrong and marry him before Mr. Right appears?
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You will never know until you try.
I
suppose it is a good idea to try relationships without marrying and get the valuable experience?
It is in theory. In practice I cannot advise. I have next to zero experience.
All I can say is that you will know. You are supposed to know yourself. So, listen to you inner self. Be absolutely honest with yourself. Trust your gut feeling.
I trusted mine.
Heh. I typed quite a long reply, but decided it is too revealing. Deleted it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kindlekitten
there are no safety nets in life. if you live your life waiting for the guarantee, you will one day wake up, old wrinkled and alone
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Very wise words.
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Originally Posted by Iridal
Sure there are many bad examples, but many good ones as well. Bottom line: unless you can look into the future, you won't know whether you'll stay with this person the rest of your life. People change. Relationships change. But ask yourself this: what if you find your knight in shining armour, but don't marry him because you're scared he's not the one and you want to keep on looking ? Wouldn't that be worse than finding out after a couple of years maybe it isn't meant to be ?
And oh: if you don't want to get divorced ... don't get married 
Very well said! You have to take chances every now and then. Like talking to people on the train  |
Again wise.
You cannot perpetually question your future relationship without experiencing it. You cannot know. All you have is your heart, your brains and knowledge of what you want and need from another person.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kindlekitten
divorce isn't THAT bad!
when I think of all the adventures I would have missed out on because of being afraid of taking a chance, I would have had a very dull life indeed!
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My wife was married and divorced. No regrets on her part of the experience. She believes (foolishly imo) it prepared her for the King Astra, although without white horse....
Quote:
Originally Posted by ProfCrash
Ahhh but there are so many stories of marriages that have lasted until death did them part where the couple were in love the entire time. That is not to say that it is easy, both of my parents have had to support each other through major illnesses and had their fair share of disagreements. They chose to work through their issues and accept that the other is not perfect and stay together even though there were times I think that they did not particularly like the other person. They still loved each other and that was worth fighting for.
Marriage is not easy but it is wonderful to go to bed with the man who makes me feel more complete and who loves me and supports me even when I annoy him. He feels the same way.
So you can look at the bad results or you can look at the good results and pick your poison. I have friends who are my age and single. They have their own sets of issues to confront. What will they do when they are in their 70's or 80's? Who will take care of them when they are sick? Those thoughts bring a different set of stressors then the problems of two people living together everyday.
It took me 33 years to find the man who was right for me. If he had not come along then, I would have waited longer. It is not something to rush into but it is wonderful when you find it. I only hope that I have the same strength and love as my Parents and Aunts and Uncles and Grandparents to work through the rough patches when they come.
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My parents had difficult moments too. They do not regret. Now, when my mother is very ill, my father loves her more than ever in his life (old fool, wasted so much time!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by kindlekitten
astra, you can look again!
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Yaaaaaj!
Just finished a cup of Taylors of Harrogates Pure Ceylon.
I am off. Where? Running to meet this woman who made a mistake of marrying me. Got to try to smooth it a little bit.