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The book I am looking for is a science fiction book and I think it is part of a trilogy. I'm quite sure it was written by a woman, and I think she was a biologist.
The story is set on Earth, or an Earth-like planet, though the people have some sort of tentacles in their wrists, and they intertwine them with each other, which is like making love. The main characters -- a man and a woman -- feel an overpowering attraction for each other, though for some reason they need to avoid actually mating (I think).
Anyway, its ten or twenty years since I read this novel and I'd like to know what it was. Possibly read it again, or the trilogy, if I am right about that.
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