MobileRead Forums - View Single Post - Silliness The Case of the Rock and the Red, Decision at Dawn

Rock Lobster · 11-01-2010, 03:01 PM

Red has a certain way of putting things. Like one right between the eyes if you "look at him funny." So I don't try to argue much. He's an okay Joe, for the most part.

Little Juan, who outweighed his moniker by a good two hundred pounds, started swearing at us in Spanish. Now, I don't speak Spanish much, but I am fluent in swearing. I walked over to him and helped him sit up straight. He only lost a bit of hair, so I don't know what he was whining about.

"That's an interesting way of doing that," said Red.

"Well, there's glue all over the chair and his clothes, so the scalp was the only way to haul him up. Now what is this about VivaldiRules? Even though my colleague here has what will no doubt amount to a fiendishly clever plan, I like to have the facts straight before I go off half cocked."

"What more facts do you need, gringo? We have him. If you want him, you pay us. That's a fact!"

"Well, I guess he has us there, Red. Check your pockets and see if you have that sort of chump change on you."

"You know I don't and I know for dang sure you don't. Now how about that offer?"

"I guess it would be better for both our cash flows to squirrel our little friend away for a few days. You got a deal. Now what is it you need me to do, other than make arrangements for my cousin Sue to come in every now and then to feed and water little Petunia, here?"

"I thought all your cousins were males."

"They are. Sue's got 'issues.' We don't talk about it much." Not So Little Juan's face dropped as his clever plan of overwhelming some skirt and making his escape shattered in pieces around his ankles.

"Here's a pair of work gloves, Lobster. Grab an arm and we'll get him down the hallway."

As we labored to drag the tough guy to my office, the cat jumped up on his lap and stared at him with malice aforethought.

"We just leave him glued to the chair?"

"Naw. I like that chair to much to think of what would eventually happen to it. We'll strip him out of it and leave him hogtied nekkid. Cuts down on the likelihood of escape."

"I think you should leave the cat on guard. It seems to have taken a liking to him."

11-01-2010, 03:01 PM	#48
Rock Lobster PI for hire. Posts: 94 Karma: 511896 Join Date: Feb 2010 Device: I keep a notebook handy, just in case.	Red has a certain way of putting things. Like one right between the eyes if you "look at him funny." So I don't try to argue much. He's an okay Joe, for the most part. Little Juan, who outweighed his moniker by a good two hundred pounds, started swearing at us in Spanish. Now, I don't speak Spanish much, but I am fluent in swearing. I walked over to him and helped him sit up straight. He only lost a bit of hair, so I don't know what he was whining about. "That's an interesting way of doing that," said Red. "Well, there's glue all over the chair and his clothes, so the scalp was the only way to haul him up. Now what is this about VivaldiRules? Even though my colleague here has what will no doubt amount to a fiendishly clever plan, I like to have the facts straight before I go off half cocked." "What more facts do you need, gringo? We have him. If you want him, you pay us. That's a fact!" "Well, I guess he has us there, Red. Check your pockets and see if you have that sort of chump change on you." "You know I don't and I know for dang sure you don't. Now how about that offer?" "I guess it would be better for both our cash flows to squirrel our little friend away for a few days. You got a deal. Now what is it you need me to do, other than make arrangements for my cousin Sue to come in every now and then to feed and water little Petunia, here?" "I thought all your cousins were males." "They are. Sue's got 'issues.' We don't talk about it much." Not So Little Juan's face dropped as his clever plan of overwhelming some skirt and making his escape shattered in pieces around his ankles. "Here's a pair of work gloves, Lobster. Grab an arm and we'll get him down the hallway." As we labored to drag the tough guy to my office, the cat jumped up on his lap and stared at him with malice aforethought. "We just leave him glued to the chair?" "Naw. I like that chair to much to think of what would eventually happen to it. We'll strip him out of it and leave him hogtied nekkid. Cuts down on the likelihood of escape." "I think you should leave the cat on guard. It seems to have taken a liking to him."