04-28-2014, 07:40 PM | #7711 |
curly᷂͓̫̙᷊̥̮̾ͯͤͭͬͦͨ ʎʌɹnɔ
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Clever Parrot
A lady was walking past a pet store when a parrot said, "Hey, lady! You're really ugly!" The lady was furious and continued on her way.
On the way home, she passed by the pet store again and the parrot once more said "Hey, lady! You're really ugly!" She was incredibly annoyed by now, so she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager apologized and promised he would make sure the parrot didn't say it again. The next day, she deliberately passed by the store to test the parrot. "Hey, lady!" it said. "Yes?" "You know." |
04-28-2014, 08:06 PM | #7712 |
Opsimath
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After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in his seat and closed his eyes. As the train rolled out of the station, the young woman sitting next to him pulled out her cell phone and started talking in a loud voice:
"Hi sweetheart. It's Sue. I'm on the train". "Yes, I know it's the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting". "No, honey, not with that Kevin from the accounting office. It was with the boss". "No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life". "Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart!" Fifteen minutes later, she was still talking loudly. When the man sitting next to her had enough, he leaned over and said into the phone, "Sue, hang up the phone and come back to bed." Sue doesn't use her cell phone in public any longer. Stitchawl |
04-30-2014, 12:20 AM | #7713 |
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Stitchawl |
04-30-2014, 01:54 PM | #7714 |
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+1
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05-03-2014, 07:26 AM | #7715 | |
curly᷂͓̫̙᷊̥̮̾ͯͤͭͬͦͨ ʎʌɹnɔ
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Follow the rules...
Quote:
MickeyMinnieHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento When asked why, she answered, "I was told it had to have eight characters and one of them had to be a capital. ¹ I thought for a second she might have been a blond... |
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05-04-2014, 02:32 AM | #7716 |
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Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?' The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????'
Stitchawl |
05-04-2014, 07:18 AM | #7717 |
curly᷂͓̫̙᷊̥̮̾ͯͤͭͬͦͨ ʎʌɹnɔ
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^^ ... Exactly
My university did a password audit. One woman¹ had the following as her password:
MickeyMinnieHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyWashington When asked why, she answered, "I was told it had to have eight characters and one of them had to be a capital. ¹ Such are the blondes from our math department, they know that Sacramento isn't a character |
05-07-2014, 11:27 PM | #7718 |
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Moderator Notice
Deleted by moderator. Please do bear in mind that MR is a "family-friendly" site, and that sexual content is inappropriate. Thanks. Last edited by HarryT; 05-08-2014 at 05:39 AM. |
05-10-2014, 12:20 PM | #7719 |
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05-12-2014, 10:03 AM | #7720 |
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^Haha.
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05-12-2014, 10:49 AM | #7721 |
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I don't get it...
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05-12-2014, 11:48 AM | #7722 |
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She got stabbed with a spoon...Witherspoon, her last name.
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05-12-2014, 12:00 PM | #7723 |
Not scared!
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05-12-2014, 12:07 PM | #7724 |
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05-15-2014, 03:51 PM | #7725 |
curly᷂͓̫̙᷊̥̮̾ͯͤͭͬͦͨ ʎʌɹnɔ
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Colour My World ¹
A bus driver fed up to continually have racist fights between black and white passengers stopped his bus one day.
"All right" he said. "Enough. Everybody out!" "From now on, there is no Black or White. You are all Blue!" Now please get back in, one by one, in perfect order. Dark blue on the left, pale blue on the right. ¹ Doubly appropriate title IMHO since it was the B-side to "Make Me Smile", Chicago, 1970 |
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