Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 675

cromag · 06-12-2018, 01:14 AM

(As found on the Internet.)

The Beach Boys walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll it be, guys?"

Brian Wilson looks at the others and asks: "Round?"
Mike Love says: "Round."
Al Jardine says: "Get a round."
Brian Wilson: "I'll get a round."

badgoodDeb · 06-12-2018, 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cromag

(As found on the Internet.)

The Beach Boys walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll it be, guys?"

Brian Wilson looks at the others and asks: "Round?"
Mike Love says: "Round."
Al Jardine says: "Get a round."
Brian Wilson: "I'll get a round."

Nice one!

orlok · 06-12-2018, 05:36 PM

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Bookpossum · 06-12-2018, 06:58 PM

Yep, that will fix it!

drjd · 06-13-2018, 10:59 AM

A young man, fresh out of college, went to see his doctor one day.

'Doc, there's something wrong with me.
Every time I stand in a baby's high chair and face southwest, and then touch my tongue to a piece of aluminum foil that's wrapped around an acorn, I get a strange tingle in my big toe.
Can you tell me what the problem is?'

'Sure,' the doctor said. 'You have way too much time on your hands.'

drjd · 06-15-2018, 04:02 AM

A prosecuting attorney just could not believe that the jury had found the defendant not guilty.
Astonished, he asked the jury foreman, "How could you possibly have found this man innocent?"
The foreman replied, "Insanity."
The perplexed prosecutor replied, "All 12 of you?"

orlok · 06-15-2018, 05:00 AM

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
---The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.
There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left.
"Janie, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and the whiskey get wasted, and then she parachuted right into the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.
She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
''Good Heavens, 'said the horrified teacher. What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story'?"
...."Don't Screw with Mommy when she's been drinking."

drjd · 06-24-2018, 05:38 AM

Two girls were having coffee when one noticed that the other girl seemed troubled and asked her, "Is something bugging you? You look anxious."

"Well, my boyfriend just lost all his money and life savings in the stock market," she explained.

"Oh, that's too bad," the other girl sympathized. "I'm sure you're feeling sorry for him."

"Yeah, I am," she said. "He'll really miss me."

drjd · 06-25-2018, 07:05 AM

There's a special place in he'll for autocorrect.

drjd · 06-29-2018, 06:37 AM

If paper could sing, would it sing in a quire?

drjd · 07-04-2018, 05:47 AM

badgoodDeb · 07-05-2018, 02:48 PM

Bookpossum · 07-05-2018, 05:55 PM

I love this!

pdurrant · 07-07-2018, 02:35 AM

"Treason dothe never prosper; — What's the reason?
Why ; — if it prosper, none dare call it Treason."

— Sir John Harrington, Letter to Prince Henry, 1609.

Deb's post brought it to mind.

drjd · 07-16-2018, 07:28 AM

A dentist in a court trial was orally examined and re-examined by the defence lawyer ruthlessly, to extract the truth.

07-04-2018, 05:47 AM	#10121
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Attached Thumbnails

07-05-2018, 02:48 PM	#10122
badgoodDeb Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,501 Karma: 64095689 Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Harrisburg outskirts Device: Palms, K1-4s, iPads, iPhones, KV, KO1	Attached Thumbnails

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06-12-2018, 01:14 AM	#10111
cromag Surfin the alpha waves ~~ Posts: 24,281 Karma: 459220161 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: New Jersey Device: Jetbook Lite & Mini, Nook STR, Kobo, Hanvon N516, Kindle 2, Androids	(As found on the Internet.) The Beach Boys walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll it be, guys?" Brian Wilson looks at the others and asks: "Round?" Mike Love says: "Round." Al Jardine says: "Get a round." Brian Wilson: "I'll get a round."

06-12-2018, 05:36 PM	#10113
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"

06-12-2018, 06:58 PM	#10114
Bookpossum Snoozing in the sun Posts: 10,137 Karma: 115423645 Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Melbourne, Australia Device: iPad Mini, Kobo Touch	Yep, that will fix it!

06-13-2018, 10:59 AM	#10115
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A young man, fresh out of college, went to see his doctor one day. 'Doc, there's something wrong with me. Every time I stand in a baby's high chair and face southwest, and then touch my tongue to a piece of aluminum foil that's wrapped around an acorn, I get a strange tingle in my big toe. Can you tell me what the problem is?' 'Sure,' the doctor said. 'You have way too much time on your hands.'

06-15-2018, 04:02 AM	#10116
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A prosecuting attorney just could not believe that the jury had found the defendant not guilty. Astonished, he asked the jury foreman, "How could you possibly have found this man innocent?" The foreman replied, "Insanity." The perplexed prosecutor replied, "All 12 of you?"

06-15-2018, 05:00 AM	#10117
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. ---The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and the whiskey get wasted, and then she parachuted right into the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands." ''Good Heavens, 'said the horrified teacher. What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story'?" ...."Don't Screw with Mommy when she's been drinking."

06-24-2018, 05:38 AM	#10118
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Two girls were having coffee when one noticed that the other girl seemed troubled and asked her, "Is something bugging you? You look anxious." "Well, my boyfriend just lost all his money and life savings in the stock market," she explained. "Oh, that's too bad," the other girl sympathized. "I'm sure you're feeling sorry for him." "Yeah, I am," she said. "He'll really miss me."

06-25-2018, 07:05 AM	#10119
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	There's a special place in he'll for autocorrect.

06-29-2018, 06:37 AM	#10120
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	If paper could sing, would it sing in a quire?

07-05-2018, 05:55 PM	#10123
Bookpossum Snoozing in the sun Posts: 10,137 Karma: 115423645 Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Melbourne, Australia Device: iPad Mini, Kobo Touch	I love this!

07-07-2018, 02:35 AM	#10124
pdurrant The Grand Mouse 高貴的老鼠 Posts: 71,496 Karma: 306214458 Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Norfolk, England Device: Kindle Voyage	"Treason dothe never prosper; — What's the reason? Why ; — if it prosper, none dare call it Treason." — Sir John Harrington, Letter to Prince Henry, 1609. Deb's post brought it to mind.

07-16-2018, 07:28 AM	#10125
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A dentist in a court trial was orally examined and re-examined by the defence lawyer ruthlessly, to extract the truth.