'Coming out at work' Question

[saoir]

Hi all,

Ok so I have a situation where, after the interrogation of a suspect (spy/MI5 story) by a small team of four case officers (2F+2M), a passing issue relevant to the sexual orientation of the suspect comes up. My female character makes a couple of observations when they are back in a meeting room together, not suspicious in themselves, but decides to follow them up with a statement that she is bisexual, triggered in a small way because she feels she has extra insight into the situation.

So I am pondering what words she might chose. Keeping in mind that everyone doesn't always chose the perfect words or the politically correct words.

Might she say "By the way I'm just letting you guys know that I am actually bisexual." or might she say "By the way I'm just letting you guys know that I am gay, actually bisexual."

Can anyone assist me ? As I said I'm not seeking the ultimate politically correct statement ... just a credible one by a mature woman of 39 among supportive professional colleagues where the response is going to be calm and fine.

Tks !

[crich70]

I think it might be simpler than you think. Someone would probably ask her what makes her an expert on the topic and she could just say something like, "I happen to be bi-sexual."

[HarryT]

Originally Posted by crich70

I think it might be simpler than you think. Someone would probably ask her what makes her an expert on the topic and she could just say something like, "I happen to be bi-sexual."

I like it. A good solution, crich.

[saoir]

Tks for the feedback guys.

I was confused as to whether they would use the word gay first because of the way we, society, tends to think ...

[ATDrake]

Originally Posted by saoir

I was confused as to whether they would use the word gay first because of the way we, society, tends to think ...

Generally no, because despite what the general public and popular media sometimes seem to think*, "gay" and "bisexual" are not at all the same thing, especially not for someone who's come to terms with being bisexual and genuinely being attracted to and acting on attractions to both sexes, and no longer in the occasional "experimenting/deciding" phase where they're still figuring themselves out and possibly using the label for convenience when trying to explain stuff to others.

(I happen to be bisexual. And thereby agree with crich70's suggestion of phrasing as one of the most likely. But I'm not a mature woman of 39 among supportive professional colleagues, so YMMV.)

* When they bother to acknowledge that non-monosexual attraction is A Thing™ at all, and not some kind of code-word for "watch sum hot 2 girl action! and they'll do it in a 3-way with you too, later!", or "transitioning from boy/girlfriend to girl/boyfriend exclusively in the future". Bisexuals exist, dammit!

[saoir]

Thanks for that input ATD ... not that I really understood the last bit .. but I got the message

[ATDrake]

Eh, the last bit is just my usual grumble about how popular media* likes to portray bisexuality as not actually existing, except when it's convenient for people to exploit the idea of sexual exploration for the titillation of the audience, while ultimately maintaining that the people engaging in bisexuality are just doing it to attract the opposite-sex person they really want, who is portrayed as the true indicator of their actual sexual orientation.

Or their insistence that There Can Be Only One (Orientation), and that people† who start dating the same-sex or wind up marrying the opposite sex could never have been bisexual in the first place, but were secretly either hetero- or homosexual all along but confused about it until they settled down, with absolutely nothing in between.

But it looks like you're approaching the issue in a thoughtful manner from a non-exploitative perspective, so .

* And then there's fandom, which just kind of fetishizes LGBT people in general, while also generally not actually respecting them as people in many cases, unfortunately.

† Not just fictional characters, but actual people. E.g. actress Anna Paquin, of X-Men and True Blood fame, who's had to go on record repeatedly in interviews that being happily married to a man does not in any way change the fact that she's bisexual and is still attracted to both men and women, and that no, it does not make her more likely to cheat on her husband than an exclusively heterosexual person would be.

[GMcG]

In John Harvey: "Easy Meat" (1996) the black AND gay Detective Constable has his coming out this way:
"Considering the cases we are dealing with I think it's important that you know, that I am homosexual." For a slightly moment he nearly smiled. "Yes, I am gay."

That's like the suggestion of crich.

George

[kennyc]

The character should say it in their own voice, their own persona, so it all depends.

It could be as easy as, "I know because I swing both ways."
but it all depends on context, character and personality.

[cromag]

What kennyc said.

The flip side of which (depending on the character, politics, etc.) might be the character saying, "I just know, okay? Trust me on this one.")

That way you get the message across without having to pick a "name."