Silliness Terrible Jokes - Page 56

DNSB · 03-01-2026, 09:29 PM

I have a clean conscience—it’s never been used.

DNSB · 03-02-2026, 06:21 PM

I just read a book on earthquakes.

It was ground-breaking!

ownedbycats · 03-02-2026, 10:57 PM

I cross-bred cauliflower with watermelon. Now I have an overwhelming sense of meloncauli.

DNSB · 03-03-2026, 01:52 AM

My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. “That's my stepladder,” he said. "I never knew my real ladder.”

ownedbycats · 03-03-2026, 02:20 PM

Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks: "Do you all want a drink?"

The first logician says: "I don't know."

The second logician says: "I don't know."

The third logician says: "Yes."

(explanation)

DNSB · 03-03-2026, 06:09 PM

There are 2.27 Popes per square kilometre in the Vatican.

Spoiler:

Fbone · 03-03-2026, 06:35 PM

I can’t see an end, have no control, don’t think there’s any escape and don’t even have a home anymore, so I thought, yup, definitely time for a new keyboard.

ownedbycats · 03-03-2026, 06:41 PM

I was fired from the keyboard factory. They said I wasn’t putting in enough shifts.

DNSB · 03-03-2026, 09:04 PM

Our old chicken has stopped laying eggs. I think that she's going through henopause.

ownedbycats · 03-04-2026, 12:14 AM

I invented a machine that counts how many times I blink. So far, it's been an eye-opening experience.

DNSB · 03-04-2026, 12:23 AM

Why did the pirate walk into the bar? He had his patch on the wrong eye.

ownedbycats · 03-04-2026, 12:47 AM

Always tell jokes in an elevator - they work on so many levels.

DNSB · 03-04-2026, 03:43 PM

I was once driving a truckload of cough syrup across the desert. I’m a bit of an addict so I grabbed a bottle to swig on as I drove. As night fell I heard a bang and realized one of my tires had blown; since it was too dark to see well enough to fix the tire I decided to find shelter for the night.

I remembered seeing a cabin back down the road aways. Grabbing my cough syrup and stashing it in my pocket I walked back towards it. When I reached it I knocked on the door but no one answered, so finally I broke in through a window. It was obvious no one had lived there in years.

I pulled out my cigarette lighter and managed to get a fire going in the fire place. So warm! It was the perfect place to spend a lonely night.

Then I heard a noise. I looked up and saw it–a coffin floating towards me. I jumped up and ran to another room of the cabin but the coffin followed me.I dodged the coffin and ran to another room but it still kept following me while making this hideous moaning noise.

I must have run around that cabin for an hour. By then I was completely exhausted and thinking I was doomed. Then I remembered something.

I pulled my bottle of cough syrup out of my pocket and took a swig.

And the coffin stopped.

ownedbycats · 03-04-2026, 04:02 PM

I hurt my back walking like an Egyptian. Now I have to see a Cairo-practor.

DNSB · 03-04-2026, 04:14 PM

A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”

“Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions.”

03-03-2026, 06:09 PM	#831
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 51,302 Karma: 179232776 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	There are 2.27 Popes per square kilometre in the Vatican. Spoiler: The Vatican's area is ~0.44 square kilometres.

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Email this Page	Search this Thread: Advanced Search

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
DO NOT BUY ONYX BOOX! Terrible device, terrible customer service!	alain_desilets	Onyx Boox	15	05-05-2015 03:54 PM
PB - Jokes	cipri	PocketBook	50	04-06-2011 02:13 PM
April Jokes	doctorow	Lounge	2	04-01-2005 10:24 AM

03-01-2026, 09:29 PM	#826
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 51,302 Karma: 179232776 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	I have a clean conscience—it’s never been used.

03-02-2026, 06:21 PM	#827
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 51,302 Karma: 179232776 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	I just read a book on earthquakes. It was ground-breaking!

03-02-2026, 10:57 PM	#828
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,707 Karma: 81419259 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	I cross-bred cauliflower with watermelon. Now I have an overwhelming sense of meloncauli.

03-03-2026, 01:52 AM	#829
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 51,302 Karma: 179232776 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. “That's my stepladder,” he said. "I never knew my real ladder.”

03-03-2026, 02:20 PM	#830
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,707 Karma: 81419259 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks: "Do you all want a drink?" The first logician says: "I don't know." The second logician says: "I don't know." The third logician says: "Yes." (explanation)

03-03-2026, 06:35 PM	#832
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,354 Karma: 105529930 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I can’t see an end, have no control, don’t think there’s any escape and don’t even have a home anymore, so I thought, yup, definitely time for a new keyboard.

03-03-2026, 06:41 PM	#833
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,707 Karma: 81419259 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	I was fired from the keyboard factory. They said I wasn’t putting in enough shifts.

03-03-2026, 09:04 PM	#834
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 51,302 Karma: 179232776 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Our old chicken has stopped laying eggs. I think that she's going through henopause.

03-04-2026, 12:14 AM	#835
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,707 Karma: 81419259 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	I invented a machine that counts how many times I blink. So far, it's been an eye-opening experience.

03-04-2026, 12:23 AM	#836
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 51,302 Karma: 179232776 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Why did the pirate walk into the bar? He had his patch on the wrong eye.

Advert

Advert

03-04-2026, 12:47 AM	#837
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,707 Karma: 81419259 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	Always tell jokes in an elevator - they work on so many levels.

03-04-2026, 03:43 PM	#838
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 51,302 Karma: 179232776 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	I was once driving a truckload of cough syrup across the desert. I’m a bit of an addict so I grabbed a bottle to swig on as I drove. As night fell I heard a bang and realized one of my tires had blown; since it was too dark to see well enough to fix the tire I decided to find shelter for the night. I remembered seeing a cabin back down the road aways. Grabbing my cough syrup and stashing it in my pocket I walked back towards it. When I reached it I knocked on the door but no one answered, so finally I broke in through a window. It was obvious no one had lived there in years. I pulled out my cigarette lighter and managed to get a fire going in the fire place. So warm! It was the perfect place to spend a lonely night. Then I heard a noise. I looked up and saw it–a coffin floating towards me. I jumped up and ran to another room of the cabin but the coffin followed me.I dodged the coffin and ran to another room but it still kept following me while making this hideous moaning noise. I must have run around that cabin for an hour. By then I was completely exhausted and thinking I was doomed. Then I remembered something. I pulled my bottle of cough syrup out of my pocket and took a swig. And the coffin stopped.

03-04-2026, 04:02 PM	#839
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,707 Karma: 81419259 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	I hurt my back walking like an Egyptian. Now I have to see a Cairo-practor.

03-04-2026, 04:14 PM	#840
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 51,302 Karma: 179232776 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!” “Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions.”