03-14-2009, 06:49 PM | #181 |
Storm Surge'n
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03-15-2009, 11:38 AM | #182 |
Wizard
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Location: In my own imagination.
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Old Jokes home
An elderly man walks into a confessional. He tells the
priest, 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children and grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls hitch-hiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times.' Priest: 'Are you sorry for your sins?' Man: 'What sins?" Priest: 'What kind of a Catholic are you?' Man: 'I'm Jewish.' Priest: 'Why are you telling me all this?' Man: 'I'm 92 years old ... I'm telling everybody.' |
03-15-2009, 11:45 AM | #183 |
Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah!
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03-17-2009, 07:45 PM | #184 |
Enjoying the show....
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French doctor says 'Medicine in my country is so
advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.' A German doctor says 'That is nothing; we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks. The Russian doctor says 'In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.' An American doctor, not to be outdone, says 'You guys are way behind. We recently took a man with no brains out of Illinois, put him in the White House, and now half the country is looking for work.' |
03-17-2009, 07:56 PM | #185 |
Grand Sorcerer
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03-17-2009, 08:12 PM | #186 |
Enjoying the show....
Posts: 14,270
Karma: 10462841
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Arizona
Device: A K1, Kindle Paperwhite, an Ipod, IPad2, Iphone, an Ipad Mini & macAir
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Oh, piffle.
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03-21-2009, 11:00 PM | #187 |
Storm Surge'n
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03-22-2009, 07:26 PM | #188 |
When's Doughnut Day?
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pshwynk has started a "serious" thread in The Llounge.
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03-23-2009, 11:37 AM | #189 |
Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah!
Posts: 11,726
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox
Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!
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03-23-2009, 02:02 PM | #190 |
When's Doughnut Day?
Posts: 10,059
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Location: Houston, TX, US
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But do you realize just how difficult it has been for me to restrain myself??
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03-23-2009, 02:29 PM | #191 |
Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah!
Posts: 11,726
Karma: 8255450
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox
Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!
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03-23-2009, 05:00 PM | #192 | |
books & doughnuts
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Quote:
if the puppy wants to be restrained i still have my jacket with the long sleves that tie in the back you've been a great audience, i'll be here all week, remember to tip your waitress |
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03-25-2009, 12:14 PM | #193 |
Wizard
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Location: rural Illinois, USA
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Three Ladies in a Sauna
THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA. SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. 'THAT WAS MY PAGER,' SHE SAID. I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM. A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE SECOND YOUNG WOMAN LIFTED HER PALM TO HER EAR. WHEN SHE FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, 'THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE. I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND.' THE OLDER WOMAN FELT VERY LOW -TECH. NOT TO BE OUT DONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM. SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HER REAR END. THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER. THE OLDER WOMAN FINALLY SAID.........WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT....I'M GETTING A FAX!! |
03-25-2009, 12:20 PM | #194 |
Grand Sorcerer
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A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says,
'OK old fart, Time for you to retire.' The old rooster replies, 'Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?' The young rooster says, 'Beat it: You are washed up And I am taking over.' The old rooster says, 'I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.' The young rooster laughs. 'You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start.' The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast! The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch When he sees the roosters running by. The Old Rooster is squawking And running as hard as he can. The Farmer grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - He blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, 'Dammit...... Third gay rooster I bought this month.' Moral of this Story? .... Don't mess with the OLD FARTS - Age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery Always overcome youth and arrogance! OLD DUDES RULE !!!!! |
03-25-2009, 12:38 PM | #195 |
Wizard
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Two guys were traveling on foot, when of them says:
- Hay, I'm hungry. Let's stop and eat something. - Me too, let's go near that tree. - No, let's sit and eat right here. - In the middle of the road?! - Trust me. They made a pic nic in the middle of the road, when a car appeared at hight speed. When the driver saw those two guys in the middle of the road, he turns the car and crashes agains't the tree. - See? I was right about not eating under that tree. |
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