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Old 04-16-2018, 12:47 PM   #1
Querencia_tala_
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Smile Humour/romance

So,the thing is I've written a novel (or atleast started writing it)
And i wanted to get your guys opinion and support, because if you could
Than that would mean the world to me! Thankyou.

Jason Welgrew Is A Not So Typical Student ,Or atleast he thinks of him as being one he is the type of person who thinks a lot and has a lot going into his mind...you would see where this tale of not-so typical yet relatable boy goes. And hopefully enjoy it, every view counts... thank you.

Link : https://www.wattpad.com/story/145347681 (please give it a try)

Last edited by pdurrant; 04-17-2018 at 09:53 AM. Reason: substituted for shortened URL
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Old 04-19-2018, 10:15 AM   #2
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Shouldn't this be in the Shameless Promotion thread?
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Old 04-19-2018, 11:31 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by BookCat View Post
Shouldn't this be in the Shameless Promotion thread?
No. The OP said she's started writing a novel and is seeking input.
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Old 04-19-2018, 12:58 PM   #4
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I took a very quick look at it. The writing needs lots of editing. When you've finished, if you want to publish this, maybe have it looked at by a professional editor.
Is English your first language? I got the impression that it may not be.
I didn't read enough of it to say anything about the storyline.
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Old 04-19-2018, 08:50 PM   #5
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BookCat, you have been very kind in your assessment. One of the reasons I left this alone was that I could not make out the true intention of the post and sample text; it did not seem like a serious offering to me.

The text as it is now is too poorly presented to even start to make out the the story. It looks like it was typed in as a series of text messages on a phone. Poor sentence structure, poor paragraphing, inconsistent dialogue presentation. It is barely comprehensible, and very few readers are going to put in the effort needed to understand the text.

Either the author is lazy or they do not know how to present narrative text in English, either problem can be fixed. Do the best you can to make the text understandable first, then ask some friends - who read English stories and know how they should be presented - to help you check the text before going public again. As it is now, all you are doing is turning people away.
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Old 04-19-2018, 11:08 PM   #6
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I agree that this beginning needs a lot of editing, but hey, a rough draft is expected to be rough, right? I could be interested in this story, but right now it isn't ready to be presented. Don't get discouraged though!

One last thought - are you writing YA because you are YA? The voice sounds very young, but maybe that's just your intention.
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