Writing Phrases and Words I Detest

[Dutchbook]

I'm amazed nobody mentioned clickbait sentences, ugh..

[Dr. Drib]

Prose from "Moon People":

We have orders to launch at 0800 and we are functioning at 92%. The other 8% are things that are unrelated to ships function. Mainly stuff we haven’t unpacked yet. It’s 0745 and in 15 minutes, we are going to launch. Before that I will tell you on the intercom to secure your self in one of many locations on the ship by telling you red or yellow alert if you do not know your location please ask a supervisor in any area. You should always secure yourself in your chairs with your harnesses latched. When we say red alert you should preferably be at your location or post when we say yellow alert it means to go immediately to your stations and prepare for a red alert.




Attention, K-Mart shoppers! Clean-up in aisle number 8!

[Dr. Drib]

Let the journey begin!


Hello Captain this is Kim Moon at NASA, how do you like your new job? I love it Mr. Moon and I think you would love it too. I’m just getting situated. I don’t know if you’ve seen it yet, but we had another flash of light on that same heading as our meteor. Oh really. Where at? About 2 light years from our solar system, said Kim. You’re kidding? No sir I’m not. Was there any debris? No, none just like before. There’s not a trace of anything that we can see, except a lot of radiation.


Perhaps the former school teacher should have been a butcher.

First contact:

That’s excellent sir, by the way what do we call your people? My ship is called in your language, the Galumpa which means in your language the Star Lion. Or Star king of the beast and my name in short is called Captain Tudmoke. My people are also called Powleens. Excellent Captain, glad to meet you. We will send one of our shuttles to pick you up in about one hour and we will drop you off after we eat. Then Captain Tudmoke said, very good Admiral, we will see you then. I look forward to dinning with you Captain Tudmoke.


BLT, hold the Mayo!

[skb]

Originally Posted by Dr. Drib

Let the journey begin!

Ouch...this hurt to read.

BLT, hold the Mayo!

I'm not sure, but isn't dinning illegal on the moon? Or is it only when situated?

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by Dr. Drib

Let the journey begin!


Hello Captain this is Kim Moon at NASA, how do you like your new job? I love it Mr. Moon and I think you would love it too. I’m just getting situated. I don’t know if you’ve seen it yet, but we had another flash of light on that same heading as our meteor. Oh really. Where at? About 2 light years from our solar system, said Kim. You’re kidding? No sir I’m not. Was there any debris? No, none just like before. There’s not a trace of anything that we can see, except a lot of radiation.


Perhaps the former school teacher should have been a butcher.

First contact:

That’s excellent sir, by the way what do we call your people? My ship is called in your language, the Galumpa which means in your language the Star Lion. Or Star king of the beast and my name in short is called Captain Tudmoke. My people are also called Powleens. Excellent Captain, glad to meet you. We will send one of our shuttles to pick you up in about one hour and we will drop you off after we eat. Then Captain Tudmoke said, very good Admiral, we will see you then. I look forward to dinning with you Captain Tudmoke.


BLT, hold the Mayo!

Galumpa?

Tell me you're lyin'. NOBODY would do that. And the Captain's "name in short" is Captain Tudmoke?

O.M.G. I am almost driven to read this, just to feel better about what I see every week, although, I have one in, right now...man, it's one of the worst we've ever seen, first-hand. I'm honestly torn about whether or not I should say something, as our unofficial motto is, "If the Cash is there, we do not care!"

Hitch

[Dr. Drib]

I honestly cannot believe this book, "Moon Man," was written by an adult.

We need further information on this individual, further proof of ineptitude.

[HarryT]

Originally Posted by Dr. Drib

I honestly cannot believe this book, "Moon Man," was written by an adult.

We need further information on this individual, further proof of ineptitude.

He helpfully tells us all about himself on his author page:

Political Trouble Shooter & Strategist also Foreign Diplomat,Consultant on Foreign Policies and Economics,Adviser to two Presidents,President Bush and President Obama in By-Partisan way.Helped since April 2007. Promoter of World Economic Equality & World Peace. Astrologer, Self Taught Chiropractor, Klout Score of 54, Avid Fisherman, Scuba Diver. Love Boats & water. Writer of three books, I hope to become film one day called; Moon People Trilogy, Member of the Republican Party!

I find one part of that (I won't say which) very telling...

[Cinisajoy]

Originally Posted by HarryT

He helpfully tells us all about himself on his author page:



I find one part of that (I won't say which) very telling...

His author page needs a proofreader. I think the whole thing was telling.
To save others from googling: Klout is a website and mobile app that uses social media analytics to rank its users according to online social influence via the “Klout Score”, which is a numerical value between 1 and 100."
I figured I googled so I should share.

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by HarryT

He helpfully tells us all about himself on his author page:



I find one part of that (I won't say which) very telling...

All I needed to see was that he couldn't spell bipartisan.

Hitch

[Catlady]

Lately I've been noticing "she let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding."

In reviews, there's an overuse of "propulsive" and "pause-resisting."

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by Catlady

Lately I've been noticing "she let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding."

In reviews, there's an overuse of "propulsive" and "pause-resisting."

I'm afraid to ask. Propulsive? Ye gods. I can only hope that they were discussing the method of spaceflight...

Hitch

[gmw]

Originally Posted by HarryT

He helpfully tells us all about himself on his author page:

I find one part of that (I won't say which) very telling...

I think it's all a joke. Here's my reading of it:

Political Trouble Shooter & Strategist (yells at the TV) also Foreign Diplomat (spoke to some tourists), Consultant on Foreign Policies and Economics (told them how to find the bus stop and how much it costs), Adviser to two Presidents (yelled at the TV some more),President Bush and President Obama in By-Partisan way (hates all politicians). Helped since April 2007 (that's when he got his new big screen TV). Promoter of World Economic Equality (gave money to Red Cross) & World Peace (refrained from running over his neighbour). Astrologer, (the stars said it was a good time to publish) Self Taught Chiropractor (got a stiff neck while typing these books but didn't go to the doctor), Klout Score of 54 (it could happen), Avid Fisherman (lives near the water), Scuba Diver (fell in once). Love Boats (they saved him) & water (fell in a second time). Writer of three books, (and he's very proud) I hope to become film one day called; Moon People Trilogy (but they can rewrite the story), Member of the Republican Party! (Get the joke yet?)

[Dr. Drib]

Originally Posted by Hitch

I'm afraid to ask. Propulsive? Ye gods. I can only hope that they were discussing the method of spaceflight...

Hitch

The expert on propulsion would be Larry Niven.

http://www.rawbw.com/~svw/superman.html

[Dr. Drib]

Originally Posted by gmw

I think it's all a joke. Here's my reading of it:

Political Trouble Shooter & Strategist (yells at the TV) also Foreign Diplomat (spoke to some tourists), Consultant on Foreign Policies and Economics (told them how to find the bus stop and how much it costs), Adviser to two Presidents (yelled at the TV some more),President Bush and President Obama in By-Partisan way (hates all politicians). Helped since April 2007 (that's when he got his new big screen TV). Promoter of World Economic Equality (gave money to Red Cross) & World Peace (refrained from running over his neighbour). Astrologer, (the stars said it was a good time to publish) Self Taught Chiropractor (got a stiff neck while typing these books but didn't go to the doctor), Klout Score of 54 (it could happen), Avid Fisherman (lives near the water), Scuba Diver (fell in once). Love Boats (they saved him) & water (fell in a second time). Writer of three books, (and he's very proud) I hope to become film one day called; Moon People Trilogy (but they can rewrite the story), Member of the Republican Party! (Get the joke yet?)

Wonderful!

[Catlady]

Originally Posted by Hitch

I'm afraid to ask. Propulsive? Ye gods. I can only hope that they were discussing the method of spaceflight...

Hitch

It seems to be one of the new buzzwords for suspense/domestic thrillers, of which I read an overabundance.