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Old 12-10-2017, 07:24 AM   #1
phant
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Have you dated someone from the army before?

I am currently dating someone from the army. He's not from my country but he is staying where I am for six months because of a mission. I like him very much but I know for a fact that he'll be leaving me after his mission. I am not sure if our relationship would work out. Should I just end it now or prepare myself for his departure and just enjoy our time together?
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Old 12-10-2017, 01:48 PM   #2
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I would just enjoy the time together.
I have never worried about the future of a relationship. I just took it as it was.
Yes, I have had several relationships and a few hey you're fun but I know it won't last.
On the fun ones, I knew that going in.

Enjoy your soldier.
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Old 12-10-2017, 03:47 PM   #3
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Old 12-10-2017, 07:08 PM   #4
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I like the #3 music but doubt this song is based on a deep understanding of human nature.

phant -- it sounds like you may be wondering whether to choose between the considerable pain of ending it now or the greater pain of it ending later. Maybe that isn't a good description of the choice. But if it is, Gale Garnett is plain wrong.
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Old 12-11-2017, 01:23 PM   #5
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Hey phant,
I got to thinking about your situation last night. I still say enjoy it while it lasts. You like him, he likes you. If nothing else, you will have some nice memories when he goes to his next station.
Life goes by too darn fast to worry about the future.

You will only get hurt if you expect more than he can give.
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Old 12-11-2017, 02:26 PM   #6
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I like the #3 music but doubt this song is based on a deep understanding of human nature.

phant -- it sounds like you may be wondering whether to choose between the considerable pain of ending it now or the greater pain of it ending later. Maybe that isn't a good description of the choice. But if it is, Gale Garnett is plain wrong.
Here's another take on the theme:

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Old 12-11-2017, 02:45 PM   #7
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Awesome song monkey.
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Old 12-11-2017, 04:28 PM   #8
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Have you dated someone from the army before?
Not since I was in it.

I'm with Cinisajoy. To plagiarise an old tourist ad - if you don't give it a go, you'll never ever know - and you'll spend a lifetime asking 'what if, what if'.

BR
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Old 12-12-2017, 06:51 AM   #9
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I'm leaning more to be with him until the end of his mission. But I was lurking around the military chat rooms and so many of them said that relationships with civilians are usually bittersweet. I don't want to be unfair to him that I'm preparing myself not to get too attached by reducing my intimacy because he's leaving. I guess I'll just go with the flow for now.

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Old 12-12-2017, 01:00 PM   #10
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I'm leaning more to be with him until the end of his mission. But I was lurking around the military chat rooms and so many of them said that relationships with civilians are usually bittersweet. I don't want to be unfair to him that I'm preparing myself not to get too attached by reducing my intimacy because he's leaving. I guess I'll just go with the flow for now.
Here is my thought on the "unfair to him" comment. That is about the dumbest thing I have ever heard. I am assuming your guy knows that his assignment is temporary. I am also assuming he has a good idea that nothing will ever come of it. He wants to be with you in the now so how is that unfair to him?

You will be unfair to him if you reduce your intimacy because he will be leaving.

What you are having is a love affair not a relationship.

Oh from personal experience: I can tell you love affairs can be fun. You just have to know it won't last.
Last love affair I had, I knew it wouldn't last from the moment he asked me out. He was fun, nice guy but not what I would want permanently. I enjoyed it while it lasted. I still think he is a nice guy. He later started dating a woman I knew. I told her I thought they would be great together. 25 years later: I was right. Ran into them a couple of weeks ago.

Listen, don't make this love affair out to be anymore than it is. That is when you get hurt.
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