Rant of a Reader

[maddz]

You know, reading in public used to be considered a non-verbal cue not to approach that person unless in the course of carrying out your duties (wait-person, ticket inspector etc). A woman travelling on her own was always advised to take a book and read it in a public space like a restaurant or public transport.

I wonder whether most people think you're fiddling with a phone rather than reading - in other words, they're not equating an e-reader with a book.

[latepaul]

I think it's interesting that a lot of this comes down to what expectations we have of people in public spaces, and a lot of that comes from whether we are introverts or extroverts.

I've never read but this book talks about how the default expectation/ideal is often that we act as extroverts.

[4691mls]

Originally Posted by John F

It's interesting the conclusions/generalities that people make. But why wouldn't that person make a general connection that if someone seems to be intently engaged in an activity, don't interrupt them. I tend to make a general rule, if someone is engaged in an activity, I asume that is what they want or need to do, unless they are giving off some other cues.

Riding a bike, I don't have them stop and try to start up a conversation.
Jogging, I don't try to have them stop and try to start up a conversation.
Driving a car, I don't try to have them stop and try to start up a conversation.
At the movies, I don't try to have them stop watching the movie and try to start up a conversation.
Reading a book, I don't try to have them stop and try to start up a conversation.
At a dance club, I don't try to have them stop and try to start up a conversation.
If a construction worker is doing some jack hammering, I don't try to have them stop and try to start up a conversation.

It is a good general rule.

If I want to have a conversation with someone, I can just look around for someone else who isn't doing anything and is also looking around for someone else to talk to. Or wait for the person to take a break in their activity.

Yes! If you wouldn't interrupt someone engaged in another activity, why interrupt someone who is reading?

Obviously interrupting a reader sn't a safety concern at the same level as interrupting someone driving, but your example of watching a movie is similar.

[Deskisamess]

Originally Posted by meeera

Are you a wheelchair user? Are you bombarded by people stopping you from going about your business and saying the equivalent of "HEY, YOU USE A WHEELCHAIR"?

It's not "nice", it's ableist rubbish, it's neither polite nor funny, and it needs to stop. If you wouldn't crack a race joke as your first approach to an Aboriginal stranger, or a gay joke as your first approach to a gay stranger, why barge up to a disabled stranger and launch into your overplayed routine?

No, I'm not in a wheelchair. I do have a good friend who is, 24/7, due to worsening MS. People get nervous and awkward around wheelchairs. I'd suggest trying to give strangers some of the same understanding you wish they had for you. Being so angry helps no one.

As another poster said, I think this conversation is over.

[4691mls]

Originally Posted by meeera

These days, for me, I not uncommonly have people interrupt my day, tap my on the bloody shoulder, occasionally stand in front of me stopping me from moving, and insist that I remove my headphones just so they can ask me "Do you have a licence for that thing?" (my powerchair), then expect me to laugh at their hilarious original joke.

Getting in your way for no reason other than to make a bad joke about your wheelchair is indeed rude and I think you have every right to be upset.

[BookHoarder]

I got to thinking that maybe the problem lies not in the people who don't read, are bored, and ask me questions about it. It's mostly me being not being comfortable in social situations, and using a book as a shield against those situations. Been doing that since I learned how to read.

Also I think it comes from that confusion that arises from seeing an ereader, and not a tablet or phone. When they realize you are not watching a movie, or chatting it up on Facebook naturally they must know what is going on with you.

I watched that video Kimmel did that poked fun at non-readers. Like most readers I was horrified at how many people couldn't name a book. But also I was irritated because the video seemed to be made so this Kimmell guy could get views, and look down on people who know how to read, but chose not to.

I pictured myself getting a camera shoved in my face, and being asked to name a book, and at first my mind drew a blank. I had to think "author", and then I could name what books I read of the author. Suddenly I remembered the argument about Ebooks vs real books, and how sacrificing the tactile sensation for the convenience of the digital download cost us something in retention. I was always convinced that wasn't me until seeing the video.

To combat this lost of associative tactile memory, and my own problems of being engaged in polite, but meaningless conversation I engaged in a quick crafts project with my ereader cover. Once you've deducted the cost of the lamination machine the sheets, and the velcro dots I used to affix it onto the cover it only runs me about 80 cents to do one psuedo book cover.

Now people know what I'm doing, and I just show them the cover when they ask what I'm reading. I'm also finding it easier to pretend I'm reading a physical book this way, and in so doing remember the book better as well. When I'm done the cover will go in a binder filed as completed books.

I won't go back to paper books because they are heavy, take up space, and were always a pain to transport, and I really do enjoy the convenience of ebooks. The only problem I forsee now is what happens when I decide to reread the Twilight Series, or an Anita Blake vampire book. Do I put on a fake cover to disguise what I'm reading, forgo the cover completely to face the "What you readin" questions, or make the true cover and just ride it out till the books' end?

[sakura-panda]

Originally Posted by BookHoarder

To combat this lost of associative tactile memory, and my own problems of being engaged in polite, but meaningless conversation I engaged in a quick crafts project with my ereader cover. Once you've deducted the cost of the lamination machine the sheets, and the velcro dots I used to affix it onto the cover it only runs me about 80 cents to do one psuedo book cover.

Now people know what I'm doing, and I just show them the cover when they ask what I'm reading. I'm also finding it easier to pretend I'm reading a physical book this way, and in so doing remember the book better as well. When I'm done the cover will go in a binder filed as completed books.

I won't go back to paper books because they are heavy, take up space, and were always a pain to transport, and I really do enjoy the convenience of ebooks. The only problem I forsee now is what happens when I decide to reread the Twilight Series, or an Anita Blake vampire book. Do I put on a fake cover to disguise what I'm reading, forgo the cover completely to face the "What you readin" questions, or make the true cover and just ride it out till the books' end?

What a great idea! I really love this. The one thing I don't like about ebooks is that I can't later look at a book cover and recall whether or not I read the book -- in the "old" days, I could recognize a book by its jacket, and I miss that. I may try this out myself!

[arjaybe]

The onus should not be on the accostee.

[issybird]

Originally Posted by BookHoarder

Do I put on a fake cover to disguise what I'm reading, forgo the cover completely to face the "What you readin" questions, or make the true cover and just ride it out till the books' end?

That's easy! Here you go:



Make that your default cover and you'll stop any conversation in its tracks.

I'll confess to a huge and shameful inconsistency on my part. I'm most likely to be asked what I'd reading when I'm having my hair done and it's a conversation I'd rather not have, especially, and this is the most shame-making aspect, because I want to forestall the conversation about my favorite books as my favorites tend not to be mainstream. But there's an unpleasant judginess to that, as why shouldn't the response to my naming the book I'm reading be, "Gee, I love Napoleonic history too!"

This is even worse because I'm incurably curious about what other people are reading, so covers are helpful. It tells me what I need to know and if and only if it were something that appealed to me and the reader looked open to conversation, I might lob a pleasantry. But I get the intrusive aspect of that (see above). Alas. I remember one day last summer when I was charmed to see a kid of about 12 hanging out at the local pool entirely absorbed in a doorstopper. I was dying to know what he was reading, but peering over his shoulder didn't do the trick and when he looked up at me I excused myself and moved on. It was so refreshing at a time when it seems kids are rapidly evolving into having iPhone flippers instead of hands.

[Rbneader]

One under-explored factor in this discussion certain types of people are far more likely to be viewed as safe to interrupt. Some of the posts regarding wheelchair users have touched on this, but I think it's worth saying straight out. People with visible disabilities, young or pregnant women, etc, are far more likely to be interrupted than a business-like middle-aged man or someone dressed to project an air of aggression, and also more likely to have people take visible offense when we don't react like the interrupter expects.

That informs our reactions to interruptions. When they're a rare occurrence it's much easier to blow them off.

[shalym]

Originally Posted by issybird

That's easy! Here you go:

Attachment 164209

Make that your default cover and you'll stop any conversation in its tracks.

I'll confess to a huge and shameful inconsistency on my part. I'm most likely to be asked what I'd reading when I'm having my hair done and it's a conversation I'd rather not have, especially, and this is the most shame-making aspect, because I want to forestall the conversation about my favorite books as my favorites tend not to be mainstream. But there's an unpleasant judginess to that, as why shouldn't the response to my naming the book I'm reading be, "Gee, I love Napoleonic history too!"

This is even worse because I'm incurably curious about what other people are reading, so covers are helpful. It tells me what I need to know and if and only if it were something that appealed to me and the reader looked open to conversation, I might lob a pleasantry. But I get the intrusive aspect of that (see above). Alas. I remember one day last summer when I was charmed to see a kid of about 12 hanging out at the local pool entirely absorbed in a doorstopper. I was dying to know what he was reading, but peering over his shoulder didn't do the trick and when he looked up at me I excused myself and moved on. It was so refreshing at a time when it seems kids are rapidly evolving into having iPhone flippers instead of hands.

When I see kids looking at their phones, I don't automatically assume that they are doing something other than reading--in fact, in about half of the cases where I've checked, they *are* reading. Not always one of the classics, but they are reading. Sometimes comics (manga), sometimes websites (blogs, fanfiction, etc) and sometimes novels/short stories. Why do you assume that everyone using an iPhone (or other phone) is doing something other than reading?

Shari

[4691mls]

Originally Posted by shalym

When I see kids looking at their phones, I don't automatically assume that they are doing something other than reading--in fact, in about half of the cases where I've checked, they *are* reading. Not always one of the classics, but they are reading. Sometimes comics (manga), sometimes websites (blogs, fanfiction, etc) and sometimes novels/short stories. Why do you assume that everyone using an iPhone (or other phone) is doing something other than reading?

Shari

Maybe she/he sees a lot of frequent tapping/typing which would indicate activity other than reading?

[rkomar]

Originally Posted by 4691mls

Yes! If you wouldn't interrupt someone engaged in another activity, why interrupt someone who is reading?

For many people, reading is an act of desperation. The very bottom of the barrel of things to do while passing time. They're just being kind when offering you something "better" to do, like conversation.

[HLS]

People always try to talk to me when I am trying to read. Annoys me to no end. I have to tell them I want to be alone at lunch so I can read then i feel bad for being anti social. Lunch is the only time I get to detach from work and have my own time. I do not want people getting in my business. I hate when people ask me what I am reading for I am trying to read and not be asked questions. I actually tell people to mind their own business lol So I tend to sit in a chair rather than a table so to make it hard for people to sit next to me and bother me

[meeera]

Originally Posted by Deskisamess

No, I'm not in a wheelchair. I do have a good friend who is, 24/7, due to worsening MS. People get nervous and awkward around wheelchairs. I'd suggest trying to give strangers some of the same understanding you wish they had for you.

I'm not going to pander to people who are "nervous and awkward" around wheelchair users any more than I'm going to pander to people who feel "nervous and awkward" around black people, or gay people, or people who are visibly of a different religion from themselves. Their anxiety about people from marginalised groups is their problem, not mine.

If they feel so anxious, why not just treat me like every other person in the place, and walk on by? Or if we are in a small talk situation, use the same small talk they would with anyone else? It really is not hard: humans are humans. And most people seem to manage normal interactions just fine. Today a random stranger complimented me on my fabulous shoes[1]. They didn't seem at all awkward or nervous about it.

[1] https://www.amazon.com/Dr-Martens-Wo.../dp/B00LFMUJB2